Category Archives: marketing

February 7, 2010 · 10:48 pm

Superbowl ad roundup

Yeh, I am one of the people who is more into the ads than the football. Although this year I was a little bit into the football since I have an affection for the Saints after my trip to New Orleans. Or maybe it is more the Saints fans that I loved. Whatever, I am happy for a city that has known so much pain to have a real reason to celebrate (as if they need one – that town can party!)

Back to the ads. I will give a blanket opinion… they sucked. Except, of course, for talking babies because no one will ever get tired of them because, well because they are talking babies! And Milkaholic was a great word. So E-Trade, you got it right and keeping with what works was a good idea.

Ok, how about Pop Secret? (or whatever popcorn brand it was) with the people as dolphins which was just damn creepy. And that unforgettable tagline: Awesome + Awesome = Awesomer. Um, yeh, that’s brilliant, right? I have sat in on many a creative presentation in my day. I can’t imagine who on earth would not only approve that but agree to sign a check for it. The group I was with decided the boss’s 11 year old kid came up with it, they forced it on the agency and they figured they would save some money on creative. Big fail!

Then there were the series of women bashing, “I am tired of being a ‘whipped’ husband” type of ads. The best line of all was in the Dodge Charger commercial where one of the lines in between “I promise to be nice to your mother” and “I will always take out the recycling” there was this gem of a line “I will hold your lip balm in my pocket.” C’mon ladies, how many of you out there ask you husband to ‘hold your lip balm’. Aside from every one of these ads looked like they hired their talent from one single casting call, I wonder why in the year 2010 we are not evolved enough to avoid playing into the obvious neanderthal ads making being a husband seem like the worst job on earth. Oh and of course there was the Dockers ad with all the guys in a field in their skivvies. The point of that was, “Put your pants on” Um, again, huh?

So… I am sticking with my opinion that Pepsi made the best move of all by taking all their millions and deciding to make a difference. Check out the Pepsi Refresh Project. Take a stroll around the site and check out the many ways they are going to make a difference in the coming year…

Instead of goofing on guys and making wives look like a pack of blogging, oops I mean nagging biatches.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 19, 2009 · 4:35 pm

Does your mom look like this? Another online ad fail.

Ok, who’s responsible for this one? I am constantly entertained by online advertising these days. This beauty showed up on weather.com this afternoon. Let’s see, huge eastern seaboard blizzard this weekend, how many impressions do you think this baby got? I am sure this is the kind of mom Obama was talking about educating.

So, anyone out there have a mom that looks like this? Just asking. Don’t want to make too many assumptions but I am pretty sure this guy would not fall under the category of mom… ANYWHERE! Perhaps the American Laser Centers would like to give this guy a shot for their next ad. Way to go classesUSA.com, nice photo pick.

But wait. A refresh on the site came up with this tidbit. Seems our ‘mom’ is being used in more than one ad on here. Another Obama backed program and hairy dearest has shown up on a driver’s license promoting auto insurance discounts. lowermybills.com, you may want to talk to your agency about this.

Nope, not done yet. One more page refresh landed me here. We have now gotten ourselves a shot at government refinance relief. Seems lowermybills.com did not want to pay extra for more stock photo images, so one bearded guy fits all is the mantra for their ads.

Now that I look at this guy I worry that he was stolen out of someone’s Facebook pictures from the 70s. Anyone recognize him? I mean, I think I went to college with at least a dozen guys that look like this.

Can’t make this stuff up.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 15, 2009 · 5:59 pm

No more shaving?!

Nope, didn’t make this one up. This baby is a screen grab right off my Facebook page. One of those creepy targeted ads towards women over 50. Or should I say, bearded women over 50. Hold onto your hats kiddies, I am up for a good rant on this one.

C’mon American Laser Centers! Are you friggin’ kidding me!

I mean, do you really think that a woman with shaving cream on her face is going to attract the likes of me and my kind? Honestly, we wax. And we laser after weighing the consequences of lifelong hair removal from certain parts of our bodies. Many do have to do a little touch up above the lip (I am thankful to say I do not). But um, facial hair to the point of having a beard?! Did you think maybe a shot of some long legs or a perhaps a hint of the bikini line might get us a little more attracted to your service than to show a woman…

SHAVING HER DAMN FACE!

I am sorry, last time I went on a girls weekend with my 50-year-old friends I don’t recall any of them whipping out the shaving cream and the razor and going to town on their chinny chin chins. I do remember a few conversations with the word ‘Brazilian’ in it but hey, we are just a bunch of women over 50, what do we know about hair removal? Well, this one does know that the hair removal market sits at around $1.8 billion annually – yes with a B! Thanks Wendy for that little factoid.

Wait, have I mentioned that 50-year-old women tend to be menopausal with erratic behavior patterns and reactions to things that piss them off. Oh right, did not show up in the research.

Oh, you were trying to be funny you say?

NOT.

Just curious, did you do any kind of focus group on that ad? Was there even a woman in the building when you guys did that creative? My friends, this is what we call a big time fail in my book.

So, my dear friends at the American Laser Centers, let’s see what kind of social media monitoring you are doing now that you put that ridiculous ad on my Facebook page. Or shall I say anti-social media? Rule number one, make sure you monitor or you are setting yourselves up for a nightmare. Might I suggest  The Social Studies Group, they can set you up with a nice program. And hey, $3,000 worth of free laser treatments would be a good sort of apology for insulting the hell out of me.

Now, you will have to excuse me, I have to go call the wonderful woman who waxes me and tell her how much I appreciate her sensitivity.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 9, 2009 · 8:47 pm

Facebook Invitations – how far will they go?

If you are on Facebook I am sure you have friends who are users of these ridiculous (anti)social requests and invitations. I get them all the time. There is no end to the senseless applications that people use to try to socialize. Hey, you want to chat, comment on my status, send me a link? Great, I love to connect with old friends as well as new. But these hideous applications: ismile, farmville, mafia wars and now the one that surely crosses the line…

a feel your boobies invitation.

No, I did not make this one up. That graphic up there is an actual screen grab. Not gonna lie, it had me laughing.

It all started with my crazy HS friend whose Facebook status the other day was:

Listen I hate Farming and to join another family in Mafia wars would be crazy cause I cant handle my own.. SoooooooThe answer is NO.

The comments on this thread started to get really funny when she wrote:

I just got a” feel your boobies” request…has the whole freakin face book world gone mad…I kinda wanna say yes to see how they’re gonna pull this one off.

Hard to keep reading as I was laughing so hard. Then came this response from another HS friend:

would you please open your back door. I’VE BEEN OUT HERE KNOCKING ALL DAY!

and yet another:

OK so this form of fun is so much better than farming, mafia and so on. Let me know if your boobs get a rub down  as perhaps there are other feels out there!

So of course she sent me the request because I had to check it out. I am happy to report that not only is this application not porn (sorry guys, I know you were getting into this), but it is actually a breast cancer awareness foundation called, you guessed it, Feel Your Boobies, to promote self examination.

You can read about the app here and the join the facebook group here. Although I think this is a great program and I love the edge, it is unfortunate that at first glance on Facebook this was considered offensive or at best fodder for jokes. If I were not inquisitive and/or a student of social media I probably would have made fun of it, hit ignore and forgotton about it.

So, for my social media friends, was the use of Facebook for this program edgy or a fail? I am not sure where I weigh in on this. Again, being a lover of polls, let’s take a vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 5, 2009 · 10:27 pm

Hannah Montana Mall Madness – Good Grief!

I took a trip to Toys R Us today, a place I have not visited in many years – thankfully. Although I must say all the salespeople were extremely helpful and in cheery spirits, which is something I do not remember from years ago. And there were a lot of them on the floor. Kudos to Toys R Us for doing a great job with your staff.

While I was on the check out line this appalling piece of merchandise caught my eye. I could not resist a post.

Note the dollar signs in the logo. Straight from the Hasbro product description I would like you to take a look at what this game is about:

“Will you be the rock star of this game? Hit the stores to see what bling bling you can cha ching with the stars of the Hannah Montana show! Get some steals and deals on clearance – but be careful not to totally max out. Catch a movie with Miley or head out for some ice cream with Jackson. Then meet up with Hannah Montana and see if you can borrow her credit card and charge up a storm. Buy six items and reach your final destination first and you’re the star of this mall scene!”

See what bling bling you can cha ching! Are you friggin kidding me?! So this is what we want to teach our 9 and up girls. Recession or no, this ‘game’ is simply downright offensive. (would you like me to really tell you how I feel?) Of course they will tell you they put in that line about deals on clearance and cautioning you not to max out. But remind me why we want to encourage our young girls to use credit cards again.

Look, I have wasted spent my share of money on senseless plastic items. I could have made a few year’s mortgage payments on the investment I made in Playmobil, Polly Pocket and Littlest Petshop (which BTW is made by Hasbro and these days also has a mall madness version – “Bring your pets to the mall for a wild shopping spree!” Oh dear G-d! Now we are corrupting the animals!). But at least my kids sat and had a few good hours of imaginative play with the earlier versions of these toys. Without ever once talking about credit cards, go figure.

This? This is just upsetting. Take a look at the electronic console. It has a damn ATM slot. Oh I guess that is for when you asked Hannah “if you can borrow her credit card and charge up a storm” (good friendship skills would be learned here)

I suppose this would be preferable to the poll dancing doll, but not much. Feel free to share any awful toys you see out there this holiday season.

Now all ranting aside – if you can – please make toy donations to children in need. This is what I really wanted to write about today.

There are many fabulous organizations out there who will get those toys directly into the hands of a child that might otherwise have a barren holiday season. Here are just a few (this list is not vetted and I have no affiliation with any of these organizations), or check your school district or community organizations for something more local.

toysfortots.org The primary goal of Toys for Tots is to deliver, through a new toy at Christmas, a message of hope to less fortunate youngsters that will assist them in becoming responsible, productive, patriotic citizens.

beaniesforbaghdad.com a bridge between our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, the chidren of Iraq, Kosovo and Afghanistan and very generous kind hearted people back home who want to do a small part to make the world a better place. Our Network of Points of Contact receive joy in passing out donations to young children who have suffered so much and have so little happiness in their life. Many of the children live in extreme poverty.

giftsinkind.org Through The Toy Bank, the first industry-wide program of its kind, charities in North America supporting underserved, homeless and at-risk children can obtain newly manufactured toys. And, toy manufacturers, retailers and distributors can reach children in need around the world– Millions of toys for millions of kids®

Now aren’t you glad this post ended on a happy note?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 1, 2009 · 10:45 pm

Bagel and Pap Smear with a side of Santa?

Oh yes, ladies and gent(tile)s, the CBS Cares pap smear commercial has a christian version. If you missed my post last week you can read about it here. In short CBS has created a campaign around gifting pap smears. (that would be a hell of an item to regift, no?) Here is the jewish version complete with cream cheese reference (ew)

Thanks to my friend 24 at heart, I have been made aware that it’s not just jewish guys that think a pap smear appointment is the perfect holiday gift. I’m not going to lie here, I am a little put off that the christian guy is so much better looking than the pap ‘schmear’ jew with the nasal voice. And who could resist the line, “Give her the gift that even Santa can’t deliver”. Check him out (what a babe!)

But… it gets better. You see CBS is an equal opportunity advertiser. So for all you guys out there, this babe is urging us to schedule you a prostate exam. Oh yes, this is not a joke. And the tagline from this sultry blonde would be? “Give the gift that says Merry Christmas, I love ALL of you”. Shouldn’t that have been, “Give the gift that says turn your head and cough?”

What, you say? No woman of the tribe hawking a prostate exam. Oh yes there is! And her line? Oh really, I can hardly type from laughing so hard, “This Hannukah, give the gift of a kosher prostate.” WTF!!!! Again with the food reference. And this hebropsycho has this creepy way of smiling when she says the word prostate, like she is about to… never mind, you know what they say about jewish girls.

Ok, I will have to admit that these are getting attention, but they are kind of like staring at the accident. Since when did secular PSAs go out of style?

I can’t wait to hear the hispanic versions!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 6, 2009 · 9:49 pm

Drugstore Fun

comfy-cradle

I have proven that I can have fun just about anywhere. Today it was in the drug store while shopping for a get well gift. Joyce, my sometimes MFTA by proxy was delighted to partake in the shoot.

I am always amazed at the terrible packaging in the section with the braces and bandages. This item struck me immediately. First, I have been pregnant twice and honestly, I am so very thankful that no one ever prescribed the Comfy Cradle for me. I mean, it is not like it did not get to be a chore around the 8th or 9th month, but I never had the need to use apparatus to hold up my babies. I like that 17 years later this item makes me feel grateful for that fact.

With all due respect to the product, because I am sure there are many that get major relief from this sucker, but they really need to take a look at updating their packaging. Where should I start? Ok, Starwars light sabre background, not all that contemporary. Hairstyle? Quite popular towards the beginning of the 80s, now, not so much. Low cut leotard? Just don’t get that.

But the thing about this package that gives this today’s Magnet For the Absurd award is the healthcare worker in the top left corner. Am I mistaken, or is she holding a 3 month old? Seriously, if that is the size baby this woman is carrying, no wonder she needs the Comfy Cradle. This kid looks like it came out ready to eat solid food for G-d’s sake!

So, Scott Specialties, Inc., you may want to consider a redesign. Give me a shout, I can spin my Art Direction skills and whip you up a wonderful new line of packaging. And since I clicked over to your website, we can help you out with that as well.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 30, 2009 · 9:17 pm

Handerpants

mfta approved

This post is MFTA approved!

A big thank you to my friend J. from J-Two-O, who sent me this today.

I am almost speechless. I said ALMOST. You know I can not shut up when I see stuff like this.

This is one of those products that I wish I had invented. It is so incredibly silly that I will laugh every time I see it. And the commercial is perfection. Please watch it:

I have been walking around the house bellowing “Handerpants, Handerpants, HANDERPANTS!” to the point where I am sure my family is ready to kill me. (no, it is not all fun, games and dildos in this house).

I suppose I can truly relate to these because he called me out on three of my main core competencies. No, I am not a Narwhal Aficionado, but after I google narwhal perhaps I might be. And I do know that they have a Narwhal Aficionado Facebook group with 68 kinda have nothing else to do members.

I digress, the groups I fall under in the commercial are Graphic Designers, Night Bloggers (duh) and Twitterers. Oh and I might, at some times of the month, be considered a Mutation.

A few other favorites: Ninjas with Delicate Hands, (or those who use Kiehls products), Dungaree inspectors (translation for anyone under 45, that would be jeans), Cryptozoologists (google that one yourself), Wall Street Tycoons (not your most popular crowd these days) and Hobos (x-Wall Street Tycoons).

Honestly, I think I might have to buy a few pair of these tighty whiteys for my digits. They are just too great to pass up.

I found out they are sold by my friends at Archie McPhee who were so kind as to send me a wonderful package the last time I blogged about their products: The Evolving Darwin Playset and The Flesh Eating Zombie Playset. Hey guys, I don’t mean to be pigish but I fit 3 of your profiles for this product, perhaps a pair or two and I promise to write about them again! And wear them to functions and take pictures!

Yes, I am a blog whore for a pair of Handerpants!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 21, 2009 · 6:40 pm

Toilet Paper Advertising Smackdown

I must have died and gone to promotion heaven. For the second day this week a toilet paper brand is in the headlines. Yesterday I wrote about Cottonelle’s suggestion that maybe we were not wiping all that well. Today, thanks to my friend, Jessica Gottlieb, I found this Advertising Age article about Charmin’s latest PR program: enjoy the go.

charmin-enjoy-the-go

This one is sheer brilliance. Sorry Cottonelle, I remain brand loyal to Charmin and their program kicks ass… wipes.

A Help Wanted ad is a casting call for 5 bloggers to become Charmin Ambassadors. The job description and qualifications call for someone to greet and entertain bathroom guests at the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square and then blog about it. The job runs from November 23rd  through December 31st with a salary of $10,000. This should get around the new FTC blogger guidelines quite nicely.

This is my favorite line:

All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.

Honestly, if you know me you also know there is NOBODY who enjoys going to the bathroom more than I do.

I know what you are all thinking, who better than the Magnet For the Absurd (MFTA) for this job. Yeh, well, maybe 20 years ago. But I think for now I will just be content to go down to the Hilton on November 5th with my camera and Flip. Every freak in NYC will be there for sure. I should be right at home.

Good ole Mr. Whipple must be spinning in his grave!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 20, 2009 · 7:53 pm

Wipes are Not Just for Baby Butts Anymore

toilet-paper

The scene: My breakfast table with a cup of coffee and the NYT business section (that I fought with Gary to keep, BTW)

The article: Adult Toilet Training, from Madison Ave.

I would like to dedicate this post to my family, especially my brother and nephews, because no one loves a good chat about the bathroom better than the ‘Z’ family.

Let’s see, where to start? Ok, how about a quick overview. This is an article about the marketing of none other than an item that is close to all our… well you get what I mean; toilet paper.

It appears that all these years of wiping our asses and we have not been doing it correctly. That’s right. You see, now they are marketing toilet paper along with moist flushable wipes. Yep, just like the ones we used to clean up junior with when s/he had a super-doody-blow-out. Apparently ‘dry paper’ just does not do the job it should. I would think this combo would be great for all you out there who feel compelled to shower after each dump. C’mon, you know who you are. Yes, you would be the ones jotting down the product name for the moist flushable wipes.

Now, here is a priceless quote straight from brand management:

“Dry toilet paper is generally thought of as being a functional product, and a lot of brands in the category talk about strength and softness,” said Courtney DeSalvatore, a brand manager for Cottonelle wipes. “But we are reframing the Cottonelle brand as a personal care brand, which is a much more emotional space.”

Oh yeh, now we’re talking. I don’t know about you but there is nothing more emotional than the space where I drop the kids off at the pool (that one was for my daughter). You’ve heard this famous quote before, right? “Crap to the point of tears.”

It gets better. Cottonelle has put up this snappy microsite cottonelleinstitute.com.  Actually, quite nicely excecuted if it were not so ridiculous. Kind of campy and beautifully designed. But do we really want to spend this much time thinking about the act of wiping? This surely rivals Bowling for Tampons. How’s this for a mission statement:

“At the Cottonelle Institute of Sensitive Skin Care, we believe that the gentle care you give to the rest of your sensitive parts should also go to your buns.”

Um, well, yeh, I guess they are right.

You can set up a sensitivity profile and they direct you to the right kind of toilet paper or wipes to use. No really. I’m not kidding. You may also want to check out The Lounge ‘where you can relax, play games and let your caboose loose’.

Wait, wouldn’t a loose caboose require additional wiping?

I can not help but think of the South Park Chipolte Away episode I saw recently. That link is worth a click. Gary and I were dying when we watched that episode.

Here is one last thought I have on this topic. Of all the crap I read this morning in the business section, this was by far the most useful. (sorry, cheap shot)

Now you will excuse me but I think I need to go…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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