December 30, 2014 · 5:44 pm
I want to preface this with the fact that I live in a suburban area known as the North Shore of Long Island. That would be the Nawth Shaw of Long Guyland if you buy into that whole stereotypical dialect thing.
I do not.
This magazine was at the checkout of our local Whole Foods. Modern Farmer? Really? Talk about missing the demographic! There are no farmers in this ‘hood – modern or otherwise. The only thing better than this close-up shot would have been one with a woman dressed to the nines in front of the magazine rack. Keep in mind this particular Whole Foods is across the street from The Miracle Mile, a Rodeo Drive style shopping area.
You’ve heard the expression, “It goes together like donkeys and Manolo Blahniks“, right? Of course, everyone has.
At first I thought this was an Onion type magazine. With that Headline: Donkeys, the new goats. And the Redonkulous seal (with an excellent use of hyphenation)
Other wonderful headlines that are a bit more relatable for this zip code:
- Pot Farming Goes Big
- How to Grow a Winter Garden (was this the follow-up to the Pot Farming article?)
- Drink Bitter Booze (while you are Pot Farming?)
I cannot, for the life of me, explain why I did not pick up a copy of this publication. I would like to point out that if you visit their website there is currently an article titled, New Year’s Resolution: Eat More Squirrel in 2015. Yep, that was definitely on my list this year! You?
“Locavores, listen up: if you want to eat non-GMO, antiobiotic- and hormone-free, lean, free range, local, healthy meat, you need to look up. Limb chicken, as squirrels are affectionately known in many hunting circles, is arguably better than grassfed beef or organic pork when it comes to planetary health.”
Affectionately, indeed. Limb chicken… I can’t.
And you are in luck, there is a recipe at the end of the article. (no I am not making this up)
I can’t wait for the spring issue!
(FYI, yes, I am pretty sure I am back)
Filed under absurdities, blogging, carry a camera, cooking, current events, humor
Tagged as absurdities, americana manhasset, blogging, carry a camera, cooking, donkey, farming, food, goat, humor, locavores, magazines, Manolo Blahnik, miracle mile, mondern farmer, pot farming, rodeo drive
December 29, 2014 · 5:22 pm
This is a ‘laugh till you cry’ for the last Time to Cry Tuesday of the year. There were so many very poignant things that have happened this holiday season, but for some reason I wanted to end on a funnier note. Too much heavy.
During another fit of house-purging this weekend, I came across this note. It is now hard to tell what came out of my parents’ house and what my mom gave to me over the years. It matters not, for the fact that this has survived all this time is the whole point.
This, my friends, is a peek into the life of Little Amy. By the look of the handwriting – and the fact that I switched classes for English – I would say that this was 7th grade Amy, to be exact. And that would put me in the back of Mrs. Stoudt’s English class next to my friend Kevin. So, I would guess that this was about me… and my big mouth. No surprise that in adolescence I had a tough time keeping the ole trap shut in class. I can still here her stopping class and saying, “Miss Zimmerman and Mr. Marrr-carrr-i… can you pleeeeease stop socializing.’ Hey, we had stuff to talk about! We still do, actually.
Good thing I knew I was ‘100% wrong’ and I had ‘gotten better in the past few weeks.’
Was she mad? I am pretty sure that since she saved this for 40 some-odd years, it is safe to say she was probably more amused than angry.
Filed under communities, conversations, friendship, moms, school
Tagged as adolesence, behavior, childhood, friendship, mom, school, talking
December 17, 2014 · 6:00 am
I do so love my group texts with my kids. I meet their expectations by always having typos.
Tonight I was feeling a little sad that I had spaced out on the whole Hanukkah thing with the family. For some reason I did not juggle a celebration into the schedule for all of us. This is utterly ridiculous since it is the first time in 7 years that all 4 of us live in the same place. Just another example of my Rock of Gibraltar-ness cracking. Let’s face it, this has been going on since 2008, I don’t think I can stake any claim to supermom status anymore.
Whatever, I did a dive save tonight.
You have to love Danny’s response.
Filed under danny, family, holidays, Jana, moms, technology, texting
Tagged as Danny, daughter, hanukkah, humor, jack daniels, jana, kids, latkes, moms, sons, texting, vodka
December 16, 2014 · 7:55 pm
If ribbon curling were an Olympic sport, my mom would have surely taken home the gold. This woman lived to wrap packages. When the holidays came around she was in all her glory.
Today, being the first night of Hanukkah, I needed to do a little last minute wrapping and went in search of a scissor. There in my kitchen drawer I found one that I had rescued from her house when I was cleaning it out. I thought to myself, ‘just like Elaine to have a floral scissor.’ And then I remembered that I had bought it for her. Perhaps as part of a Hanukkah present one year. This actually looks like her!
At that moment I was so thrilled to have saved this item. There were so many things I had to let go of, but there are special little everyday items of hers that I have sprinkled around my house to remind me of her. Every room has a little bit of Elaine in it. My brother and dad notice when they are here. Hopefully it gives them the same comfort it gives me.
There is no real need to have her ‘things’ around, other than to make my home feel like hers did. She is everywhere I go, in everything I do. So much of her lives in me now. And I am proud to carry out her traditions, both big and small, to honor the type of mother she was. Again, I hope this gives my family comfort.
Let me tell you, that crazy ribbon curler would be damn proud of what her scissor and I turned out on that package tonight.
How lovely to share a little bit of Elaine on the first night of Hanukkah.
Happy and healthy to those of you who are of the tribe.
Filed under holidays, moms, Time to Cry Tuesdays
Tagged as family, gifts, hanukkah, holidays, jewish, loss, love, moms, presents, ribbon, scissors, wrapping