Monthly Archives: August 2012

August 28, 2012 · 9:44 pm

Damn Jewish Mother Guilt

It came to my attention, thanks to my mother-in-law and the Jewish grapevine, that a camper that had been in my son’s bunk was diagnosed with Whooping Cough.

Pertussis.

Not a great thing to get. And said son came home with his usual post-camp ‘kennel’ cough. I did not think much of it more than usual exhaustion, until I heard about the Whooping Cough. Certainly nothing to take lightly in teens and young adults (FYI, even though your kids were vaccinated with the DTP – the P being Pertussis – when they were little, the vaccine wears off in about 10ish years. Consider this a funny PSA).

If you have a college Jr. you will know that they tend to be a little, shall I say, overly independent when it comes to their healthcare. I particularly like the part where having a cough for going on 4 weeks seems to be no big deal to him since he believes it is not Whooping Cough.

Here is the actual text thread we had today. When necessary, I can still kick some serious Jewish Mother butt. Please note the horrendous iphone typos. But he got my point.

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August 27, 2012 · 9:53 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – When was the last time?

Now there is a question you need to ask yourself. Think about it. As you get older it becomes harder to to. Not that there we are necessarily running out of things to do that we have not done yet. It is more that we tend to become complacent. We don’t like to step outside the comfort zone too often. Life is hard enough, we tell ourselves. Status quo is really not so bad, right?

Wrong!

This is a challenge to go out and do something this week for the first time. It does not have to be something big, just something you have never done. Hopefully something you always wanted to do.

Let me know how it goes for you.

 

 

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August 26, 2012 · 8:43 am

I Bet You Wished

I am pretty sure this stuff gets put in front of me intentionally. Perhaps because I have a keen sensitivity to it and pay attention. I live so much of my life – both personal and professional – elbow deep in the details. That is probably why I cannot help but see this stuff. This one was actually spotted from the back seat by my daughter. The fact that my kids get this stuff and notice them is my single greatest parenting achievement (a close second is the fact that they love a good bathroom joke).

I have written about the wisdom of the universe before. In love, in art – more than once – and of course in regards to plumbing and feminine hygiene products. As you all know, that last one is something that has plagued the masses for decades.

This one? It is actually a billboard! We passed it on the way home from Brooklyn the other night. I don’t even remember where it was, but I will take a guess and say somewhere on the BQE (and no worries, I was not driving).

So here is the thing – how many tens of thousands of people pass this sign every day? This is a big commuter corridor, after all. It is going east so I am going to say most people see it on their way home at the end of the day. Does anyone actually SEE it? Do they read it and think, hmmmm, what DO I wish? What do I wish so much that someone would bet on it? And based on the tense of the sentence, what do I wish I had done in the past? Maybe you are a grammar and punctuation junkie (cough, cough, Shelly Kramer), and you wonder why there is no question mark at the end of the sentence. Or you might think, hey, is this a real billboard or graffiti? Or damn, I need to get my phone out fast and take a picture of this one (that would be all you Amytypes out there). I worry that too many people – probably the majority – pay it no mind at all. Which is the whole point of this post.

On this beautiful Sunday morning, on the back nine of the summer (that’s for all my golf peops), I would like you all to ponder what you wish today. Make it a good one. And I would be honored if you would be so kind as to share that wish… because that BS about it not coming true if you share it is old school.

What is a wish if not to share?

Happy Sunday everyone!

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August 22, 2012 · 8:56 pm

For 5000 years we were wandering…

 

The ‘WE’ for those not of the tribe are the Jews. We have been known to wander for give or take a few thousand years. We can be restless that way. Have you ever been to a restaurant with my husband? NEVER accept the first table.

This is engraved above the blinds in our favorite local Jewish deli. Actually it is the only local Jewish deli but if it wasn’t it would still be our favorite. So the photo above is one wall. And the payoff was… will a little bit scary but funny none the less.

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August 21, 2012 · 9:02 pm

Iko Geico

Labragoat strikes again! I need puppy insurance!

If we had Allstate this post would not be half as funny.

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August 16, 2012 · 10:30 pm

Zombie Industries

This was in the window of a store next to the restaurant we ate at last weekend. I can tell you this is surely not the average window display on Long Island.

I love the name Zombie Industries. Their tagline is Destroy the Undead.

Nice.

You can actually submit your very own zombie kill video on their site. They even have a friggin zombie outbreak map! And bleeding zombie targets!! I suppose you can never be too prepared for the zombie apocalypse. (fyi, I just finished reading Jenny Lawson’s book Let’s Pretend this Never Happened and I am pretty sure she would love to hang this image on her wall).

Do people really buy this crap? Um… Gary does have an abnormal obsession with all things zombie. Note to self: possible father’s day gift in the event that I lose my mind and want to lose the relationship with all my neighbors.

Please discuss.

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August 7, 2012 · 7:54 pm

Chip Off the Old Garbage

If you are new here, I have been known to post about garbage now and then (define now and then). Ok, so maybe there is a little more spring in my step when I go out to walk in the AM on a garbage day. What can I say, I have very creative neighbors.

Today, my daughter came off the train from work with a story about the boxes of random stuff that has been in her office for weeks. She has been thinking to herself, “Hey, why have I not taken a picture of this garbage that appears to have a penis sticking out of the top of the box.” Then she asked a co-worker, why have we not talked about that garbage over there and the friend replied, “Oh, you mean the penis garbage?”.

No lie.

She then proceeded to make everyone sit at her desk so they could get a good view of said penis garbage.

Go head, look at that picture and tell me you don’t see the penis. What? You are on a mobile. Well then let me help you. Here is a close up.

Oh the little things we do to amuse ourselves during the day.

Do all families behave this way?

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August 6, 2012 · 11:07 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Start to Finish

 

Ahhhhh! The short race. This is something I can understand. Start here. Finish here. Not a whole hell of a lot of trouble in between. I wish I had been around to see the neighborhood kids racing here.

Downhill.

What could be better.

This made me think of my work. Sometimes it is a short race, wham bam, super rush, in and out in days sort of thing. Sometimes it is the I have given birth faster than finishing this project kind of situation.

I am not sure which I prefer. There is something lovely about working your ass off in a condensed period of time and surprising yourself with how much you can get done in so little time. On the other hand, it is not so terrible to have the time to review and finesse… or obsess, as the case may be.

Seems I never get the happy medium projects.

I suppose I am just a woman of extremes…

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August 1, 2012 · 9:40 pm

Phonetic Wino

I found this cup on the beach in Montauk. It’s for those who are pronunciation challenged. Or maybe those who are two drunk to read. Or maybe drunken foreigners.

I simply love it and want a full set of words. Any suggestions?

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