Nope, no one in my house is graduating. But for some reason I found myself going back and reading all of the graduation posts that I had written for my kids. I guess it is that time of year. It all seems so long ago, and like yesterday at the same time.
I will tell you that here on the other side, we are all doing great and happy to have made it.
Here is a little roundup for those who are going through the graduation dance. Don’t worry, I promise, you will all be just fine.
Jana’s High School Graduation
Danny’s High School Graduation
Jana’s College Graduation
Danny’s College Graduation
Iko’s Obedience School Graduation (JK, if you have ever met her you would know she would definitely be a dropout!)
Filed under childhood, college, danny, daughters, education, family, gary, humor, Iko, Jana, moms, parenting, pets, school, wisconsin
Of course I asked. I mean, look at that sign!
There I was picking up
Houdini Iko after she tortured every person at the dog groomer her bath today, and this sign taunted me from the counter.
Me: Laura, I’m asking about your bag of 20 duck feet. Are they real?
Laura: Yes they are.
Me: Ok, that is more than I needed to know about them.
Then I spent the rest of the day picturing Iko with 20 duck feet in her mouth at one time because she jams as many items in there as she possibly can. Someone please tell me why giving your dog duck feet (20 or any number for that matter) is desirable.
And what do they do with the rest of the duck?
UPDATE: alas, Mashable has an answer to all those footless ducks
Time: 6:45 am
Gary: Nooooo! Uch, now YOU get it.
Me: Ummm… you would be talking to who?
Gary: No, I am not kidding, you get it.
Me: (walking into the bathroom where I see both Gary and the Iko looking into the toilet) WAIT, I need to get a camera.
What, you thought I was going to stick my hand in the toilet to get that bone? Yeh, right! Yes, that is what that was, a bone. I have had people guess it was a sock and a condom. Seriously? A condom in my house? With my sans uterus, way past childbearing old arse?
Gary: She needs to get that out of the toilet. Go ahead Iko, you dropped it in there, now you get it out.
Iko: Gives the universal Lab look of ‘are you f’in kidding me’, turns around and walks out of the bathroom.
Me: Guess that leaves you, my sweet. Don’t worry, I just cleaned that toilet… um, when was that again.
He is hard pressed to believe I did not put the dog up to this… perhaps that will make him think next time he leaves the seat up ; )
Packaging. It can be so deceiving. At first glance the red and white box simply seemed to be the inhaler I had just picked up from the pharmacy, so it went in the ‘to pack’ pile for my son’s semester abroad.
Ok, so it was the dog’s ear drops instead. Hey, she never let’s me get near her with them, anyway. Someone might as well use them.
I know, a wheezing American in Spain would probably not have seen the humor in that.
Mom fail or honest mistake?
This sign hangs in the waiting room of my Vet’s office. (the wispy stuff is halloween related).
I love these people. We have been through a lot together in the past 13 years, both with my first dog and now my new one. They are kind, compassionate, loving people who have to put up with people and their pet craziness all day long. Which I would imagine is nothing compared to the irresponsible parenting that comes along with the territory.
I love this solution. Clear, to the point and with humor.
Hey, I wonder if there will be a band of wired kids and puppies running around in town this month.
Filed under humor, Iko, mel, pets
Yes, I am pretty sure my husband has died and gone to heaven. I brought home the Moe version for him the other day and it actually talks! Now he wants Larry and Curly. As you can see on the display, the Curlies were all sold out at the store (of course) but I can get the others here. And no, there are no Joe Bessers or Shemps. Seriously, did anyone like them?
No I was not insulting him by buying a dog toy; The Three Stooges is sort of an alternate religion in this house. (please do not think less of us).
My kids have watched since they were little. You know, “honey, don’t worry, I will keep the kids occupied while you food shop”. Oddly I would come home to a ‘Nyah, Nyah, Nyah’ or a ‘Are you happy or are you married?’ comment from the little rug rats.
A word of caution, the nose seems to have fallen off from quite a few of these in the store. Then again, if I gave them to Iko they would be gutted in less than an hour.
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard… for duty and humanity.
Here is the full set.
Labragoat strikes again! I need puppy insurance!
If we had Allstate this post would not be half as funny.
We have been away a lot this month, and Miss Iko has been a good sport about being in the care of others. But on the day after we return I always try to spend the day with her. Working at home makes that pretty easy.
Today I found myself having to make a last minute trip in the car and was going to be gone for a couple of hours. I just could not bear that little face as I was leaving the house, so…
I invited her for the ride.
The thing is, this puppy is far from a good car dog. Mel? She was the queen of the car ride. She sat in the back when asked and would never consider jumping out the window. Hell, she would sit in the convertible with the top down and never think of bolting. Iko? Not so much.
I know it is not good to compare dogs, and they all have their roles in your life. So I am going to deem Iko my co-pilot. I am sure it is a job she will take very seriously as she gets older. This shot pretty much illustrates her dedication.
As for the title of this post, it was inspired by this book, that I highly recommend.
If you have ever owned Labrador Retriever puppy you already started laughing at the title of this post. My last lab was a chewer as a pup as well, but it was so long ago my memory has faded. I am pretty sure that Iko is way worse. To give you an idea, here is a list of what she has chewed or eaten in the past few weeks:
- A leather flip flop (see above, she did quite a nice job on this one)
- 2 pairs of vintage prescription sunglasses and a nice bite out of the lens of a brand new pair (yes, I know, stop leaving them on the counter)
- 2 plastic bins that we kept her toys in (BTW,red plastic comes out exactly how it went in)
- A few indestructible dog toys from manufacturers with claims that they cannot be destroyed (they have not met
- A couple of mouthfuls of Biotone (this is a garden fertilizer and required an emergency trip to the vet with the bag and a call to poison control. They told us it is not toxic and she will just violently projectile vomit… um, that is how we knew she ate it, but thanks.)
- A ballpoint pen (leaving a blue birthmark on the side of her face)
- A client’s check (perhaps she ate the pen to forge my signature on the check)
- Countless sticks, flowers and terra cotta pots (she loves the garden)
Shall I go on? I guess you get the picture. Hey anyone want to dogsit this weekend?
Filed under humor, Iko, pets
Ok, maybe that won’t be the most popular post title for search. Or then again, maybe it will.
Bottom line, sometimes puppies DO suck. Like when you get up with them at 6AM, let them out, feed them and that is STILL not enough. They whine like a little baby when you go back to bed because it is – ahem… friggin SATURDAY! – and then when you ignore them they figure out how to ‘f’ you real bad.
That’s right, for those who know me, the prescription sunglasses that I have owned for at least 8 years are no longer. And yes, that IS a Gucci logo on there. Again, if you know me I do not do the designer thing, but I always loved these glasses and made an exception.
I could have been the first woman in the history of the eyeglass store in Great Neck, NY who ever asked to have the logo popped off the frames. The guy looked at me like I was from another planet.
I guess in Great Neck, I am.
Filed under animals, Iko, pets