Monthly Archives: March 2012

Catalog Jew?

This direct mail piece came today from Express.

Gary: Hey there is a Jewish guy on the cover of the Express catalog

Me: How do you know

Gary: Look he’s wearing a yarmulke

Me: What?

Then I looked at the picture above. Positioned just in the right place to look like he was, in fact wearing one, was placed a wafer seal.

For those not of the tribe, a yarmulke is pronounced: yamikah and it is a scull cap worn by observant Jewish men. For those who are not in the direct mail business, a wafer seal is the little round annoying sticker that the Post Office requires printers to put on a folded piece of promo material to keep it closed.

If all that description killed the visual joke for you, I totally get that. But it was totally worth that risk to make sure everyone got it. Now go back to the beginning and look at the picture and realize how funny it really was.

Or just tell me to give it up.

 

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera

Zukes Dog Treats vs. Bear Naked Granola

There really is no contest, it is all about point of view.

If you are a dog, it’s Zuke’s hands down. If you are human, the Bear Naked wins; if not by taste, surely by name. Naked is cool; Bearly Naked is intriguing.

What the hell is she talking about, you ask? Well, these highly similar packages sit right next to each other on the shelf in my pantry. So say you are a bit preoccupied in the middle of the afternoon with all the work you have to finish and you are making a little yogurt snack and figure the Bearly Naked would be lovely sprinkled into it. And then let’s just say you weren’t really looking and you…

Ok, you ALMOST poured the Zuke’s into it. Look at this photo, it really was an easy mistake!

I posted this on Facebook:

Note to self: do not store dog treats and granola in similar zip lock packages on the same shelf in the pantry. #justsaying

My favorite response came from my friend Jessica (her comments never disappoint). I LOVE her mom for this:

Ewwww. My mom used to put the fancy dog treats in a candy dish and all the men would dig in… so gross

Just another day in the life.

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Kissed by the Vet

I know, not the most flattering angle, but this was a picture that had to be taken. Iko had a vet visit today… conjunctivitis this time. Seriously, what did she share a towel with her bunk or something? Jeez.

Anyway, the famous Dr. Anne of saving Mel’s life when she diagnosed her with diabetes fame, could not resist the extreme cuteness of this animal. So, she warned me that she was wearing lipstick and then planted one right on her forehead. This looked somewhat more ridiculous than when she got into the food coloring and was sort of tie dyed for the week.

How can you not love a vet that kisses your dog?

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Filed under Iko

I hate when I suck at something!

In the house of social media, nothing is sacred.

Last night Jana had the brilliant idea to make pizza. We have tried this more than once before and we are not very good at it. Riki is great at it. Riki is great at all things cooking. Riki is our kitchen idol.

First time around we used cookie sheets and the pizza sucked.

Second time I had gone to BB&B and bought pizza stones like Riki told me to. We did not realize we had to heat up the stones, so that pizza… you guessed it – sucked.

This time? This time we called Riki first. She coached us. We were golden. Preheat the stones, make the pizza on the back of a floured cookie sheet (which BTW we argued about what a cookie sheet was) and then…

Well then we realized a little too late that we should not have put the sauce and toppings on the rolled out dough on the cookie sheets. Ok, I know, we are severely pizza challenged. This does not make us bad people.

During the heat of sucking at this I heard my phone go off and there was the tweet above.

Apparently nothing is sacred in my kitchen.

Fyi, we baked them on the cookie sheets and they were not all that bad but I do have a pizza stone permanently wedged on the bottom rack of my 1939 Chambers stove. This could prove to be a problem when making brisket next week. Perhaps I need a handy man. Or maybe just…

Riki!

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Filed under humor, Jana

Time to Cry Tuesday – Dalai Lama Wisdom,with a side of Springsteen and McCartney

Time to Cry Tuesday clocks in a little late today. Sorry for the thin posting schedule lately.

Today I am a bit reflective because… it’s Tuesday. So I am going to share with you three things that struck me over the past week. The first is from the Dalai Lama. I suggest you copy this, print it out and post it on your fridge, in your car, on the bathroom mirror and anywhere else your entire family can see it.

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered,

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

Ouch!

Second, this quote from Bruce Springsteen’s keynote speech at SxSW was perfect. (although I like my sister-in-laws idea to reverse the order)

“Don’t worry. And worry your ass off.”

That pretty much sums it all up for me. I am a firm believer in not pre-worrying. I believe what happens to you is not what you worry about but something completely out of left field instead. AND in some not so dramatic but disaster preparedness sort of I way, I have been known to worry my ass off. (does this worry make my ass look fat?)

And last but not least, keep reminding yourself of this one. I have seen some staggering evidence of this lately. The last line of the last song of the last Beatles’ album, from Sir Paul:

And in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take.

 

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Where the Magic Happens

I came across this image on Pinterest the other day. It has been circulating all over the online sharing circles. I would love to give credit to its creator but I can’t seem to locate them. If you know where this originated, please let me know.

The sentiment… could this be any more spot on?

Magic.

It is hard to come by. But when you stumble upon it you are blown away. And most often the road there was not an easy one. You certainly did not comes across it on the proverbial couch. Sometimes it involves hard work. Other times it is merely serendipitous. (Yeh, I hate that word too, but it worked here). But almost every time you find yourself smack in the middle of the magic circle, you have traveled outside your comfort zone to get there. You can see here, sometimes it is not all that far away… but that step outside the zone is a scary one.

And it is always worth it.

If you have every received an email from me, you will find this line at the bottom:

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Go ahead…do it. You won’t be disappointed. And here’s hoping that you will find the magic.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Flea Market Cutie

I spent the afternoon at the Chelsea flea markets last Sunday and I almost got whiplash trying to capture all the bizarre images of the day. This particular image spoke to me on so many levels. There she was… the quintessential 1950s paper doll, posing Carol Merill style next to a treasure trove of old photos. I love her foundation garment (hey, my first job out of art school was with Maidenform – that is what you call any type of underwear).

What struck me about this shot and the angle in which I captured it, were the categories of images the vendor had chosen to feature. Some are not that easy to read, or are covered up, so I will list them here:

  • Interiors
  • Post-Mortem: Death, Funeral, Memorial
  • Costumes
  • Holidays, Weddings
  • Parades
  • Disasters/Accidents
  • Fishing

Some commentary (what, you thought this would go without my thoughts?)

Ok, I can see why you would collect period interiors. I am sure there is a market for that. And costumes, ok, that makes sense. Holidays, I get that and I suppose throwing weddings in with them goes with the celebration theme. Parades, yeh, that could have an appeal on some level. And fishing? Well I suppose if the images were of some big fish there would be those lovers of the sport who might find these interesting.

But Post-Mortem?! I shudder to think who would want to purchase these. Why on earth did I not think to browse through these photos to see what the hell was in there that illustrated death, funeral and memorial? And Disasters/Accidents (love the slash), this was probably the pay dirt of the bizarre.

Now I HAVE to go back and check these out. And I am pretty sure I will have to buy some of them. Stay tuned, this could surely have a great follow-up post in the coming weeks.

Ok, so other people actually SHOP when they go to these things. Me? Not so interested in owning other people’s junk, I just like to photograph it.

 

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, garbage