Monthly Archives: October 2008

October 31, 2008 · 12:50 am

Halloween (vol. 6) –RIP

Here we are. Halloween at last! As I sit here crafting the last post of this crazy themed week, I see that my daughter has started the Mad-town Wisconsin tradition of 3 nights of spooky celebrations. Her away message reads, “halloween part 1”.

Yes, of course I am jealous. I mean, here I am just finishing up the day’s work at some ongodly hour and there she is… ok let’s not go there.

This picture was taken in front of a neighbor’s house. I simply love those little hands. This neighborhood goes all out for Halloween. The decorations are wild. Some are kind of kitsch and subtle like this one and others feel the need to put a huge inflatable spider on their roofs. Or worse, those blow up snowglobe monstrosities (no pun intended) on the front lawn.

When my kids were little I used to go the scarecrow, bale of hay, cornstalk, pumpkin, mums route. I liked the traditional look. If I had only known about tampon ghosts, I would surely have added those. Funny, but I don’t remember doing all this Halloween decorating as a kid. We had a pumpkin. if we were lucky we carved it and we called it a day.

My strongest Halloween memory was when some kids stole my pumpkin, ran down the street and smashed it. The lore is that my dad ran after them and made them eat it. Dad, did I make up this memory or did this happen? Hey, go with it, it makes you the hero, why not?

Happy Halloween all! Don’t forget to eat some pizza after you steal your kids candy go trick or treating.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, family, holidays, humor, Jana

Tagged as halloween, halloween decorations, madison wisconsin, pumpkins

October 29, 2008 · 10:13 pm

Halloween (vol. 5) – Prison Jumpsuit

Ladies and gentleman, here is the third costume featured this week. Again, for those who have missed my week of halloween, scroll down and visit the last few posts. I promise you will not be bored.

So here we are, taking a look at yet another absurd costume choice: The Prison Jumpsuit. I particularly like the styling on this package. Who would have thought of the hands up stance? So creative.

Now there is only one truly disturbing thing about this. Yes, I bet you saw it too. The sizes. Teen. Adult Large. Adult Plus.

Hmmm… Teen is checked here. I am sure, like me, you know a teen or two out there that is probably destined to wear this outfit in the not-so-distant future.

But, honestly, is it wise to encourage this with role playing?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, holidays, humor, trends, Uncategorized

Tagged as halloween, halloween costume, prison jumpsut

October 28, 2008 · 9:56 pm

Halloween (vol. 4) – Restraint Costume

Here we are, back to the ridiculous costumes theme. If you missed the last one you can see it here.

Where do I start with this one? Let’s see, why not go straight to the small print.

Costume includes:

Straight jacket with tie-back (wow, that is some beginning)

Open end sleeves for free hand movement (ok, practical so you can still eat and drink. and um, trick or treat if perhaps you are a pedophile)

Pajama pants (alrighty then, you should certainly be comfortable)

I like that it is ‘one size fits most’. Most what?

Ahhh, now this one simply freaks me out in a Silence of the Lambs sort of way …

muzzle mask with adjustable elastic bands (yeh, right. this would be something a healthy person would want to slap on for the big Halloween bash. Honey, your date is here. He looks kind of cute but I can’t tell because he is wearing a MUZZLE MASK – are you sure you want to go out with this guy?).

But of course my number one favorite part about this costume is that it is an ‘Adult Costume’.

Seriously, anyone out there considering running out to purchase this sucker for their kids? Mom bloggers, help me out here. You in or you out on this baby?

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, holidays, humor, trends

Tagged as halloween, halloween costumes, mom bloggers, mommy bloggers, muzzle mask, silence of the lambs, straight jacket

October 27, 2008 · 10:45 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Halloween (vol. 3) Style

What a good sport Danny is, don’t you think? I picked this up at the craft store and I am sending it to Jana in her surprise Halloween package (which is no longer a surprise once she reads this).

Please note the two day stubble on his chin. Which leads me to the nostalgia of Halloweens past and the fact that my ‘baby’ friggin shaves!

Today was the little neighborhood Halloween parade on my street. Or I think it was but we were at a soccer game so the only evidence was the police barriers left behind. When did Gary and I stop running this sweet little parade?

Was it not just yesterday that Danny begged to be a cowboy, wore the costume all month and then the day of Halloween lost his mind and insisted he had to be a Ninja? Wasn’t Jana just wearing that cute little Devil with the Blue Dress On costume that I made her? Was she not walking down the street in the bluebird costume with my in-laws wearing fake noses and glasses (they were always such good sports).

Ok, so this sounds a little too Sunrise, Sunset? I know, but I am not done yet so if this is too sappy for you I will be back tomorrow with something crude again (um, Dr. Jimmy, that could mean you).

Seriously, I just miss those bedlam trick or treat evenings with the kids running in all directions and the dogs barking. I loved walking from house to house with them (especially Linda’s where the parents got a glass of wine while the kids got their candy). We always seemed to lose one kid for a little while (hmmmm, could have been the wine from Linda’s house) but they would turn up eventually. I miss that nauseous feeling of too many dips into the kids’ candy bags and how great the pizza tasted after all that sugar.

I miss staying up all night to make costumes when they were little and years later being the house the girls came to when they made their own because we had the best craft supplies. And I miss them sleeping over and taking pictures in my driveway and then driving off to school in their costumes together. (Sloany, Rik, you could be crying about now, no?)

I am usually good with this growing up thing, but Halloween? How much is a sentimental mom supposed to suck up?

Anyone have a little kid out there I can borrow?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms show up here as well.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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5 Comments

Filed under danny, family, holidays, Jana, parenting, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as cosutmes, halloween, pizza, teens growing up, trick or treat, wine

October 26, 2008 · 9:50 pm

Halloween (vol. 2) Tampon Crafts

I was first turned on to this wonderful craft site by a fellow SVMom blogger, White Trash Mom. Her blog is hysterical, I recommend stopping by and checking her out. She has a post with a kick-ass tampon bat on it that I am tempted to craft myself. Although this little ghost here is much easier to make and it has moving eyes. (Ronni and Jeanne you will love it for that reason alone). We were always doing crafts when my kids were little, I wonder if I would have done this with them.

Yeh, probably. Nothing like having a neighbor ask you where you got those cute little ghosts in the trees. The ones that are so absorbent when it rains.

For those who have been insane enough to follow me from the beginning, I have an affinity for all things tampon. I have written about a crazy tampon site with a bowling for tampons game, a don’t flush the tampons sign in my daughters bunk at camp and even a search term that lead a reader to my blog: obama covered in tampons. Of course the big joke is I have no need for these suckers anymore as I am sans uterus (yes, TMI for sure). Maybe I am just a little nostalgic about it all.

Nah, they are just friggin funny and I am all for a cheap sophomoric laugh whenever possible.

When I was in college we loved to decorate Christmas trees with outrageous handmade ornaments. Candy-pons and mousetraps were a big hit. Hmmm… Doreen, did you start this tampon craft site? I wish I had. Check out the other options. The turkey is fantastic, LOVE the menorah and the toupee? This is laugh-so-hard-I-had-chest-pains kind of funny. Just one item had me a little concerned. What kind of mind would think to make a tampon shooter? Very creative but a little scary.

Yes, I know I was a little link happy in this post, but they all help to give you the big picture, so live with it.

Have I mentioned how much I love Halloween?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms show up here as well.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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8 Comments

Filed under crafts, holidays, humor

Tagged as bowling for tampons, don't flush tampons, halloween, halloween crafts, halloween decorations, obama covered in tampons, tampon crafts, tampons, white trash mom

October 25, 2008 · 11:32 pm

Halloween (vol.1) Dr. Seymour Bush

This is the beginning of my countdown to Halloween series. I LOVE Halloween. When I was in art school it was the best day of the year. Costumes were way over the top creative. I always been one for making costumes, but that does not mean I do not appreciate the mass market versions.

Today I stopped into one of those Halloween Marts that pop up in empty stores for the month before Halloween. There were all sorts of spooky things in there. I was shooting away, so over the next few days you will see the best of what I shot.

This first one is probably the best. I would be furious about the sexist tone of this costume if it were not so pathetic. I love this package. Doesn’t the model look like George Costanza?

1. Um Seymour Bush? Are you KIDDING me? Could we possibly be more sophomoric? You really have to laugh at this.

2. Adult Costume. Oh great, glad this was clearly marked. I am sure many mothers were standing in front of this sucker wondering if they should buy it for their sons.

3. One size fits most. Most what? Neanderthals?

4. One Plus Size Lab Coat. So you are saying that this is a costume for a big fat guy, right?

Yeh, this sucker is sure to get you laid on Halloween. I know most women would find this baby so appealing there would be no way they could resist going home with the (chubby) guy who chose to wear it.

‘Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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3 Comments

Filed under humor, trends

Tagged as halloween, halloween costumes, halloween stores, seymour bush, sophomoric humor

October 24, 2008 · 11:12 pm

TOGAAAAA

Should I be concerned that when I IM’d my daughter to remind her that her credit card payment was due this was her auto-reply message? You have to feel a little bad for college kids today, their lives are always right out there all the time. The downside of technology.

No worries. She did, in fact call me. A little on the late side, but let’s face it, she had been at a Toga party last night. With visions of Animal House I asked her how her evening was.

‘Oh, it was fun. You know those jersey top sheets I have make a great Toga’.

Thank goodness, I will let Linens and Things in on that little tidbit and maybe they can include it in their Back to School flyer as a selling point. Actually, she has both brown and turquoise sheets. Either really would make a fine toga and I am sure the jersey fabric drapes nicely and is quite flattering.

And the phone call wasn’t a total loss, she did handle the credit card bill.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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2 Comments

Filed under family, humor, humor, Jana, teenagers

Tagged as aim, animal house, college, college toga parties, ichat, instant messaging, jersey sheets, toga, toga parties

October 23, 2008 · 10:19 pm

Aliens on Post-its

Rifling through my desk drawer looking for a post-it I found a pile of yellow ones at the bottom. Hmm… what’s up with this ratty pile of old post-its?

Then I turned them over. And there they were. In all their glory. Pre-school Jana (now a college sophomore) drawings! A dozen of them. The past in my desk drawer. Cool. (Janny, i know you are reading, how excited are you to see these again?)

Aren’t these a riot? 16-some-odd years ago this was her signature style. I am thinking that we might need to resurrect it. I love these people. I am pretty sure the Jana sigs on here were done by my nanny. Not my hand writing and thinking if she drew like that she couldn’t write that well.

So what do you think? T-shirt line. Look at these friggin’ faces. We could title them. Bottom right would certainly be WTF.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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3 Comments

Filed under family, humor, Jana, parenting

Tagged as aliens, drawings, kid's artwork, post its

October 22, 2008 · 6:47 pm

Does this gum make my ass look big?

A friend once bought me this gum and I could not stop laughing. (thanks Cath). You can buy this gum here if you are so inclined, but that is not what this post is about.

As women we are always torturing ourselves about weight. For those who don’t know me, I try to balance my love of food, distaste for exercise (sorry Gary, but this is not news to you) and my desire to look good in a pair of jeans. Other stuff too, but jeans are what I wear the most. Weight is not a huge problem for me nor do I focus on it more than the next vain, aging woman. It is not necessarily a losing battle but lets just say I am still trying to drop the baby weight and my youngest is 16.

I have managed to successfully raise a daughter who has a pretty healthy attitude towards eating and body image. I attribute this less to what I have done but rather the luck of the draw and I thank my lucky stars every day for it. We try to stress healthy eating but the bombardment of media images, celebrity (anti)role models and peer pressure are some pretty serious bullets young girls have to dodge.

All that preachy-shut-the-hell-up-and-let-us-watch-the-friggin-video-already stuff aside:

Watch this, and think about it. I, for one am thrilled that this was created by a sorority on a college campus. Of course I am late the party for the initiative that took place last week, but the sentiment is timeless.

Bloggers, if you want to post the original YouTube link you can get it here.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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4 Comments

Filed under body image, family, humor, parenting, teenagers, trends, women

Tagged as body image, body image youtube video, college women, daughters, delta delta delta, does my ass look fat, girls and body image, reflections program, sororities, Tri delt, women

October 21, 2008 · 9:54 pm

Pet Sounds?

I am pretty sure that there is some kind of critter living in the ceiling soffit in my office. Let’s just say I hear the skittering noise of what I am hoping is just a mouse, running back and forth at all hours of the day and night.

It is not like this is a new discovery. I must have mentioned this to the overpriced exterminator I have on a monthly retainer more than once. He reminds me that the office is in the basement and a wall backed by an outdoor staircase is susceptible to rodents. (ew)

I do like the staircase, though, in case I need to make a quick getaway. Of course I would have to move the copy machine to get out, my feng shui is so off in this office I don’t even have feng!

I digress – for a change.

Every once in awhile I hear the scramble of little feet in the ceiling and think, hey, this guy is much less work than the dog. I mean, I don’t have to feed him and I don’t have to worry about a sitter when we go away. He certainly does not bother either the Fed Ex or UPS guy. And he does kind of ease the loneliness of a solitary work environment.

So, I will let him be. The thing I worry about more is when the pitter patter of his little feet stops there could be a good chance I will have something dead in the ceiling!

Which makes something living in there seem so much more palatable.

Catch me today at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms.

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6 Comments

Filed under homeowner, humor, pets, work, work habits

Tagged as exterminator, feng shui, home office, mice, mouse in the ceiling, office, pets, rodents

Monthly Archives: October 2008

Halloween (vol. 6) –RIP

Halloween (vol. 5) – Prison Jumpsuit

Halloween (vol. 4) – Restraint Costume

Time to Cry Tuesday – Halloween (vol. 3) Style

Halloween (vol. 2) Tampon Crafts

Halloween (vol.1) Dr. Seymour Bush

TOGAAAAA

Aliens on Post-its

Does this gum make my ass look big?

Pet Sounds?

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