Monthly Archives: November 2008

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 4)

Welcome to the fourth monthly installment of Top Ten Search Terms. For those who missed the last three, you can read Vol. 1 here and Vol 2. here and Vol 3. here. As before, I have compiled a list of my 10 favorite (actual) search terms that viewers have entered to arrive at this blog. Every month I get a few more little goodies that take me by surprise or just plain crack me up. Scary what people will key in when searching. Scarier that they find me. Each entry is linked to the post I assume they arrived at when using these keywords.

For email subsribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. son lives in basement not work what to d (i hate when these get cut off. what was that last word? do?)

9. separated at birth photos, pets (is that so unusual, pets being separated at birth?)

8. fat guys in bathing suits (nothing like a fat guy in a bathing suit, they always make the husband look thinner)

7. i could cry for days (ok, this person has missed the whole point, and unless they landed on a Tuesday post they would be highly disappointed. or maybe not. maybe this person needs a good laugh.)

6. www.old hairy women.com (believe it or not, this is a real site so I am not sure why they landed here. you can visit it if you like but it starts with “Warning, adult content. Must be 18 years or old to access this site. And how, might I ask, do they proof you before you enter? I passed, thanks)

5. boobss pop out while fight (with two s’s? yeh, well what’s a girl fight without boobs(s) popping out. I would assume that is part of the lure)

4. how to poison someone (this one is concerning and I am happy to say I do not have any idea how this landed here so there is no link. To my knowledge (officer) I have not written any posts that illustrate how to poison my husband anyone)

3. i dont have a condom (ok, bud, then it looks like you are screwed. or not. either way it seems you are having a bad night)

2. moose intestine condoms (ew. Ew! EEEEWWWW!)

1. how about a big box of shut the hell up (this one? this one had me laughing for hours. in fact I cannot wait to use this the next time someone bugs me. how much fun would it be to say this to someone. I am still laughing. wait, is this not that funny and only I see the humor in it?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches, top ten lists

The upside of laundry

laundryLaundry. Never been a big fan. No matter how often you do it the pile keeps growing. Quite frankly I was never one of those moms that got off on the smell of the clean clothes. Or the neat piles when you put them away – maybe because those are non-existent in my house. 

But the upside of laundry in my house means it is a full one. My daughter (the jam master laundry maker) is home; filling a hamper in just a few days. Scary, but I love to see her clothes in the laundry. It is evidence that she is present. And there are a bunch of sheets on a half dozen aero beds tonight for the slew of boys who will roll in after midnight from a concert in the city. With any luck an equal amount of towels in the morning if they actually shower, but with 16-year-old boys that is always a crap shoot. 

A full house. I LOVE a full house. The laundry, not so much. But it is a small price to pay to have them here. A few years back it seemed like a nuisance. Now? I love nothing more.

So, all you moms who think that one more rinse cycle will put you over the edge, just remember, no laundry means they are not around. I have told many a mom who complains about their house being messy that a clean house is an empty one. 

Don’t get me wrong, it is not as if I have no life without the kids – there is always Twitter for G-d sakes – but there is something about having parented for almost 20 years that makes me really appreciate a heavy dose of it now and then.

Now if I could only teach the dog to fold…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, humor, moms, parenting, teenagers, twitter

Hmm, this hot dog tastes like mouse!

I am not sure how I missed this one but I am grateful that my nephew has become my bird dog for the absurd. 

Seems this man opened up his bag of hot dog buns and found a little feller baked right in. This video cracks me up. I love how he says, “That’s certainly noticable, some one put that into a bag, they should have seen that”…”I see his little ears, clearly that is his tail. I am not sure what that is, maybe the left part of his leg or something. But that mouse is baked in there.”

The best part is how he slides the rolls back into the bag as if he was going to use the rest of them later. 

Makes you want to start that post holiday diet right away, doesn’t it?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, humor, news

What I Learned this Thanksgiving

turkey

1. The vintage Chambers stove is way too fickle to cook a turkey correctly.

2. The pop up thermometer is ALWAYS wrong.

3. The overpriced William Sonoma electronic thermometer is ALWAYS right and I never believe it because for some ridiculous reason I want to trust the plastic little pop up one.

4. Two 18 lb. turkeys is too much anyway when you are serving sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, rice, stuffing (carb much?), cranberry sauce, vegie lasagna, salad, squash and string beans. And a sick amount of desserts.

5. The above menu is what happens when a jewish girl and an italian girl make a joint holiday.

6. There is ALWAYS a kid’s table no matter how old the kids are (15-23 in our case)

7. The kid’s table always seems to be having more fun than the adult’s table (note to self: sit at kid’s table next year)

8. If you stare at your daughter who is home from college too much she will start to feel like you are stalking her.

9. A little health scare before the holidays makes you appreciate not wearing a hospital wristband way more than usual.

10. There is nothing better than your husband’s best friend marrying a woman who is the best wife a girl could have. 

Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday as much as we did.

Now where are those friggin’ sweatpants?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, holidays, humor

What are you thankful for?

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After an evening elbow deep in stuffing, I realized that there was no post up for Thanksgiving. I decided to go with the basics.

My BBFF Liz tweeted this question today and it got me to thinking about all the people out there who are reading (and I know you are there because I see the numbers rising). How cool would it be if every person that reads this blog left a comment letting us know what makes them feel like giving thanks.

The world is surely on fire. At the risk of being cliché, now more than ever, is a time to share what works in our lives.

Me? Good health – NEVER taken for granted, having my daughter home, my brother and his family visiting and sharing the holiday with good friends and family. For those who are not joining us, we miss you.

Oh and a wonderful update on the blogger mom who sent out an appeal for a kidney donor for her daughter. The hospital said their lines were jammed and never have they received so many donor forms. AND, they are optimistic that they have found a match. Read more here. So, yes, I am thankful for the power of the internet. 

Now give it up out there!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, food, friendship, holidays

Spam Spam Spam, Wonderful Spam

Last week I wrote about Spam. I had a wonderful time learning all about the resurgence of this mother of all loaves. I found out that there was a Spam Museum, visited its website and Gary and I fell in love with the place. Especially the tagline, Better Than an Art Museum.

To my delight, one of my readers informed me that she and her husband had actually visited the place. Again proof that I have very giving blog friends.

I was out of my mind when she was so kind to send me the following photos. Thank you Casey Leigh for making my day and sharing your trip with us. (if you think I am not going to this place you are crazy).

Here is Casey on a statue called “Off to Slaughter” – what a lovely family place. casey_statue

Next, we have her hubby, Carl, with Spammy. Oh Carl, you are such a good sport. We could surely hang out with you. Wait, is this a statue or is there someone inside that Spammy suit?

sammy-and-husband1

Gary, when we go there can I play the ham and eggs computer game. Please, please, please!

ham-and-egg-computer-game

Family, please note the countertop around the placemat, if the background was pink that would be Nana’s kitchen counter. I LOVE when she channels!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, humor, museums, travel

Time to Cry Tuesday – Help save a life

donateSince I have begun his crazy world of blogging I have witnessed some of the most remarkable outpouring of caring I have ever experienced. Friends ask me about the ‘relationships’ I have forged here and give me that look of skepticism when I tell stories of true connection. You know that look, the yeh, right these are your ‘friends’ kind of look.  

People voice fear of stalkers and weirdos, perverts and losers. Ok, so the web has its share of these social misfits but, hello, so does the real world. Do we put ourselves at risk when we venture into social media forums like blogging, Twitter and Facebook? Sure we do. But in my estimation the benefit undeniably outweighs the risk.

We have seen acts of kindness beyond description through the tragedy suffered by the Nielson Family. An online auction spear-headed by a single post on a poplular blog, designmom.com, began the fund-raising efforts that have reached almost $250,000 since August. Team Whymommy supports a fellow mom blogger living with inflammatory breast cancer. These stories are countless and part of a future post I am planning so on to the point of this very special Time to Cry Tuesday appeal.

This one hits so close to home as my sweet daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving. We feel so grateful that she and her brother are healthy and thriving. As a parent, the experience of a child with a serious health issue is your worst nightmare. If you have lived through it on any level, you know first-hand. If you have not, it does not matter for you project and pray for the families who do. But you need not be a parent to be touched by this story.

Please join myself and countless bloggers and twitters who have stepped up to help spread the word about a family in dire need. The Domestic Diva, a blogger and mom, has sent out a plea for help. Her 15-year-old daughter is in desperate need of a kidney. Read her latest updates here. For those who hate to click the link here is the abbreviated story:

She has been moved to NY Presbyterian-Columbia University Hospital (NYP) in hopes their additional living-donor kidney programs will save her life.  Not only will NYP consider family members as donors, but are willing to evaluate EVERYONE (friends, associates and kind strangers) who wants to donate a kidney.  That’s right…EVERYONE regardless of blood type, antibody mismatch, age, etc.  

Please help spread the word. If you do not blog you can still help. Send this link to your email list, post it on your Facebook or other social network page. If you do blog, consider posting about this. 

Thank you all for visiting, and having a good cry. After all, it IS Tuesday.

As an illustration of how powerful the blogosphere is, check out what my blog friends Jessica and Amy have to say. 

UPDATE 11.25.08 10PM: The Domestic Diva has informed us through Twitter tonight that the hospital has never received so many donor applications. If donor is agreeable and further testing goes well docs want to schedule transplant for the day after Christmas. The power is amazing!

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Filed under family, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays