Monthly Archives: January 2011

Time to Cry Tuesday – Snow Fatigue and the Baby Monkey

Are you suffering from Snow Fatigue? Or perhaps PTSFS (Post Traumatic Snow Fatigue Syndrome). Then again, how can we reach the post- traumatic phase when the damn snow keeps falling? Enough already, right?

This morning I was listening to another weather report warning me of yet more accumulation – this time with the added treat of ice on top of all the snow. Just at the moment that I thought I would surely scream, my son sent me an instant message with a link. It simply said, “My friend showed me this. I knew you would love it.”

Now, there is really nothing on earth better than a kid that knows you so well he can imagine you sitting at your desk cracking up at a ridiculous video. It was as if he could feel my weather disgust halfway across the country and knew just when to send out some relief. Funny thing about having a stupid sense of humor… I am pretty sure it is genetic.

So, my poor frozen Northeast friends, here is some relief – Danny style, to chase those blues away. And for those who are in more temperate climates, you will just love this for no other reason than it is so endearing. Warning: you will be singing this song for the better part of the day.


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Filed under absurdities, danny, humor, Time to Cry Tuesdays, weather

Headless Garbage

I came across this headless… I am not sure what it is, in a neighbor’s garbage. Anyone have an idea what this might have been before it was garbage. I don’t know about you, but I find this just a little bit creepy, with or without a head.

Should I be concerned about what was in the garbage bag underneath?


Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, garbage

Move Over Law?

If you have been driving on a highway lately you might have noticed the latest alert on the road signs:

New Law. Move over for stopped emergency vehicles.

Does this not see obvious? Call me crazy, but do people opt to slam into the back of a stopped vehicle as opposed to moving over? To the point where a law had to be passed?!

I saw this on the road a few times and wondered… what the hell? I did not think about it much till someone brought it up to me today out of the blue, “Hey, Amy, I know you are the type to ponder this sort of thing. Have you seen those new signs on the highway? New Law…” at this moment we both said it together, “Move over for stopped emergency vehicles.”  What does that MEAN?! Throughout the rest of the evening I asked a few more people who also did not get it. Some thought it meant to move to the right when you see an emergency vehicle in your rear view but the sign specifically says stopped emergency vehicles. And that the move to the right thing is surely not a new law… it is on the permit test for G-d’s sake!

Ok, you know I could not leave that one alone. So I googled it. And yikes! How did we not have this law sooner. I urge you all to go over to and read why this law came to be. It seems that idiot drivers would not change lanes when they saw the stopped vehicle on the side of the road, and the cop getting out of the car would get popped by the careless driver. How sad is that? Warning, some scary graphic vid on that site.

It would appear from google image search that there is a major awareness campaign going on for this. Color me stupid, but I seemed to have missed it. And I suppose most of my friends did, too.

So… what started as a what the hell funny story has now become a sort of a public service announcement.

Because, you know; I can be that way.


Filed under absurdities, road signs, signage

Everyone Needs a Morale Captain

Think about it… you are feeling sort of low, your self-esteem is waning, you just can’t seem to get yourself going so you call…

The Morale Captain!

What a title! And what a perfect job for my daughter, Jana. She is it the ultimate camp counselor, the planner of all activities. She’s the one who gets everyone motivated, flights booked, lists made and out the door. So what better job for her during the University of Wisconsin Dance Marathon than to be the Morale Captain. Her job is to keep individuals energized and motivated to stay on their feet throughout the 15 hour event. And she doesn’t even drink coffee!

As the mom that raised this kid I can tell you sleep was never a high priority for the first few years of her life, so she is well suited for the task.

The Dance Marathon is a student run philanthropy project that funds the American Family Children’s Hospital. If you would like to donate to this fabulous event you can do so here. And who knows, she may even take your call when your feeling down and get you back on your feet again. I know she can always do that for me.

Go Jana go!


Filed under charity, college, Jana

Time to Cry Tuesday – Community

Hi, my name is Amy and I am a recovering volunteer.

Ok, so maybe I have fallen off the wagon of late, but in a good way. For the past year or so I have taken a back seat on the volunteer front. Partially for work and family reasons and probably because I needed a break.

But over the past few weeks I have stepped back into a couple of my favorite volunteer  jobs. And I have to say I am truly happy to be involved again. Not so much for the work I do, but more for the people I do it with.

There is something about being part of a community that is like nothing else. To share a common goal with a group of people that you would not normally meet in your regular day is so unique. Committees and boards are made up of a mixed demographic that broaden the way I think and the the way in which I look at the place I call home.

Tonight I was at a meeting where people were asked to define what made this place so special. I was brought to tears with each response. Some answers touched me personally while others helped me get to know the person that shared them one step further. It was quite remarkable. There was something about the way that each person defined community that made me realize just how rare this place is.

I am a big shot. I have always said when my kids were grown I would be out of here in a flash. But when I think of all that I would leave behind I am not so sure. The people who hold me up when I am falling and make me laugh till I could cry (when I have the time and of course on Tuesdays) are not so easily replaced.

Community is what you are fortunate enough to have when you invest in the place you live. The people become part of your life and you become part of theirs. When you are truly a member of a remarkable community like mine, help is there before you even think to ask for it. The rewards outweigh the work you put in and the relationships you form last a lifetime.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Filed under Uncategorized

Fugitive Finder

The other night we stopped by the King Kullen to pick up dessert to bring to a friend’s house. On the way out between the Pennysavers and the auto finders was none other than…

The Fugitive Finder.

I love their tagline: We are keeping Long Island safe… and you can help!


Really? In our sleepy little town this is the last item I would have expected to find on the way out of a supermarket . We particularly liked the Fugitive of the Month on the cover. I shudder to think how he earned that spot. Note that this paper is free. Seriously, would someone pay for the Fugitive Finder? Or is there a worry that it would be stolen? The whole thing is a bit creepy.

If you are wondering who advertised in there we found a Become a Security Guard ad, a couple of attorneys, a bail bondsmen, a staff and recruitment company (odd, to say the least) and on their website this ad was my absolute favorite!

Guess someone was scorned out there in Quogue.

We picked this copy of the Fugitive Finder up as a gift for our friend the criminal attorney.

He was touched.



Filed under absurdities, communities, humor

How much is that doggie in the window?

Let me preface this post with the fact that I have an 11 1/2 year old dog who I adore. That said, I also have 2 kids in college and money does not exactly grow on the trees in my yard (although we are pretty convinced it might on the trees of others in our zip code – note to self: buy one of those houses).

This week our dog, Mel, was diagnosed with diabetes. I am happy to report that after a rough few days and fear that I would be working the night shift at Dairy Barn to pay for her treatment, the financial hit was not that bad. We will manage because… well because she is our friggin’ dog, for G-d sake and it is hard to put a price on her head… ish.

Which brings me to a story about my dear friends in Rhode Island who called in a timely fashion as we were going through this with a story that is not to be believed. This is a bit long but worth following. And it has a major ‘ish’ to it.

Their dog had a tumor in her eye. She is also almost 12. No pain, happy as can be, just an eye tumor. Vet recommended removing the entire eye and the cost of surgery was $2,800 plus-plus (hospital stay, meds, etc). They opted out and the vet had an attitude. Fast forward a few months or so and the tumor had grown out of control. They went back to the vet who then wanted to charge $4,000. They hem and haw and realized that with all the unexpected expenses that month (wisdom teeth, new boiler, etc) they simply didn’t have the cash and $4,000 to do surgery on a 12 year old dog seemed crazy. She had a good long life and their hearts were broken but they decided they had to put the dog to sleep.

They say their goodbyes the night before. They bring her into the vet. They are sick. The receptionist tells them the vet wants to see them. They are then told that they have found someone who will adopt the dog and pay for the surgery but they have to sign the dog over to them.

WTF! They are freaking! “Sure”, he says, “they have now embarrassed me that I will not save the dog, then they knock her  out and she wakes up without an eye and has to live in some alternate reality where they start calling her Daisy and want to be her family. Now how the hell can I do that?! This is a tiny town in RI. I can see it now, I am going to pull up in a parking lot a few months from now and there will be my freakin’ dog sitting in someone else’s car. She will see me and give me the ‘where the hell have YOU been’ look and ask me why everyone is calling her Daisy.”

At this point of his telling of the story I am both laughing and crying and cannot breathe.

Needless to say they grabbed their dog, left the vet and went for a second opinion. They went to a well known animal hospital that quoted them $2,000 for their canine opthalmic surgeon (still wondering why they need the specialist if they are taking out the whole damn eye) and they schedule the surgery. Of course there is a snowstorm and they have to reschedule.

It gets worse. The next day they see blood on the kitchen floor and they find that the tumor has burst. They wrap the dog in a blanket and rush her to the doggie ER where they do emergency surgery, remove the eye, the dog is fine and the cost?

$1,000 because it was emergency, not scheduled, and they did not use the specialist.


Happy to report the dog is now happy as can be – sans one eye – and barks with a bit of a pirate’s accent. They are using the money they saved to buy a wardrobe of eye patches for her.

Can’t make this stuff up.


Filed under absurdities, humor, pets

Which one is your glass?


Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, products

Time to Cry Tuesday – Disorder in the House

This Time to Cry Tuesday has a little something for everyone. If you are a sentimental parent type, it has that poignant touch. If you are someone who could live without the family gushing (cough, cough… Dr. Jimmy) but you are a fan of good music, watch the great video of Warren Zevon and Bruce Springsteen at the top of this post. If you are both (that would be you Uncle Neal) then you will relate on all levels.

This Zevon song has always been a favorite, and although the premise is a little off topic the title is perfect. (oh and I love the line about even the lhasa apso being embarrassed – isn’t that a duplication of terms? I mean are they not the embodiment of embarrassment unto themselves?)

This Tuesday finds my kids back at school and my house a little quieter than I would like. As any parent of a college kid will tell you, they blow back into the house and everything goes back to family hyper drive as soon as they arrive. For most parents, as thrilled as we are to get the family back together, it takes a few days to get used to the…

disorder in the house.

And then we realize how very much we missed it all; the friends, the food, the late nights and even later sleeping habits, the messy rooms and the general lived in feeling the house gets when they are home. The desire to keep the house ‘picked up’ and everything in order soon dissipates for me as soon as I realize that a clean room and an orderly house means only one thing… no one lives there.

So as I walk passed the now recently vacuumed orderly bedrooms of my kids I can think only one thing…

damn i wish there was crap all over the floor in there with the blinds drawn and the countless empty water bottles and equally abundant amount of carmex tubes lying around.

yeh, i pretty much miss the disorder in the house.



Filed under college, dr. jimmy, family, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Everybody Loves a Girl Fight Vol. 3

For those who have not been reading all along, I became educated on the sociological fascination that men have with girl fights when my son was the tender age of 15. You can read the full story hear on the Vol 1 post, but the gist of the story is that although I thought my husband was being both a bad father and a neanderthal when he agreed with my son that everyone did, in fact love a girl fight, the notion was actually confirmed by almost every man we asked.

The Vol 2 post was yet another dinner chat where my brother in law chimed in that the best part was when their boobs popped out (which by the way has become one of the top search terms for this blog… G-d help me!)

Fast forward to yesterday when Jana and I were riding the subway downtown. Two young women got on the train at the same time. One sat down in front of me and the other stood by the doors behind me. The car was unusually quiet when this exchange began:

Seated girl: What are you looking at?

Standing girl: No what are YOU looking at?

Seated girl: Yeh, I know I am good looking you don’t have to stare.

Standing girl: No, YOU don’t have to stare (standing girl was not very creative)

This sort of hostile banter continued for a few minutes culminating in a ‘you/no you’ exchange until the entire car began to share in an anticipatory sense of awkwardness that left us all simultaneously uneasy and yet a little titilated. I am not going to lie, there was a part of me that was starting to think, “Damn, everyone loves a girl fight.” That is when I realized I have been living with Gary too long.

And I also realized that if there was going to be a girl fight I was directly in the line of fire and there was a good chance I could have had my picture on the cover of the NY Post the next day. “50-something mom gets knocked unconscious in subway girl fight” Subtitle: Everyone loves a girl fight except this mom.

But honestly, I sort of got the vibe that the whole train was thinking the same thing.

Of course Jana saw right through it and suggested that they were friends who were just trying to get a rise out of the crowd. As we got off at Broadway/Lafayette, so did they… together. And laughing all the way down the platform.


Filed under absurdities, conversations, Jana, relationships