Tag Archives: long island

The Blizzard and the Bread Shelves

emptybreadshelves

photo credit: brownpau flickr

Sitting in my warm house (so far), we are hunkering down for what the media has whipped us all in a frenzy about: Winter Storm Juno.

Preying on the PTSD of a still Sandy-shocked population, they have had a field day with this one, and the supermarkets were evidence of that. I will share two observations and then I am off to start some serious drinking.

First, the empty bread shelves in the supermarket. I live in an area where more people are living a gluten-free, carb-free life than I care to think about. Why then, are the bread shelves in the supermarket close to empty. I predict there is going to be a lot of closet gluten-rich activity going on out there through this storm, no? Oy, the inflammation!

Second, is the insane desire to make sure one has eggs, bread and milk in the house at all times. What is this? Is there a direct correlation between a pending storm and the need to eat french toast?

As my dear friend Joanne pointed out just around the time that she talked me off the ledge about my Snow Warrior husband having left too late and being caught on the road forever, this is a misguided list. There are, in fact, 3 things that one must have in a storm, but they are not eggs, bread and milk… they are wine, toilet paper and coffee.

Indeed.

Stay safe everyone, and I will see you on the other side. Hopefully with power.

 

 

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, New York, New York City, shopping

A Tip for LIPA: Knowledge is Power

Let me start this post with the fact that today marks the 11th day that I have been without power in my home, where I also have my office. But, post Sandy reality for me has been more of a major inconvenience than a major hardship.

I say this because I have still have a home; one that is whole, dry and undamaged. And I have dear friends who are housing us AND our dog! My parents home is also in perfect shape and they sit in the middle of a community that has been highly compromised. I was fortunate enough to help them get out of town to warmth and safety, since we had no idea when their town would be ‘reenergized’. (Good Lord, I am getting tired of THAT word)

I consider myself truly blessed.

This post is not about demanding accountability or judging the job LIPA is doing on the ground. I will assume they are doing the best they can. I do not have the knowledge of what their plan IS to make any judgement. THAT is exactly the problem.

I am writing this post in desperation for myself and my community; for those throughout LI who are sucking it up and dealing with their new normal the best they can. I am not saying, ‘plug me in first’, I am  only asking to be informed. If the news is grim, we are grown ups, we will deal with it.

Instead, we are left in the virtual dark; the communication to individual communities is non-existent. There are more rumors and speculation than facts. That is way more dangerous than serving up the truth.

How do we explain to Long Island Power Authority – LIPA that they are in the midst of one of the biggest social media fails of the century. Forget the tens of thousands of tree trimmers and linesman. Stop posting those ridiculous charts with number of customers and outage maps that mean nothing to us. Give us a solid line of two-way communication.

Respect us.

Where is their crisis management comm team? There is absolutely no managing of expectations where I live. I have seen @LIPAnews answer questions on twitter, but I have not received a single response to over a dozen tweets and Facebook posts. That poor soul manning their twitter account must be having a nervous collapse trying to keep up. I don’t blame them either.

What they need is a social media STAFF. Call a staffing agency that specialized in trained SM experts including a crisis strategist; I will be happy to give you some names. Set up an individual twitter and facebook account for each set of effected communities. Staff them. Team each group with a field manager who knows the daily updates and give them a direct line of communication to enable them to answer individual questions in realtime. This is not brain surgery, this is crisis management.

I have not seen a single truck in my ‘hood. So therefore people assume we are the forgotten and become angry. I get that there must be a plan. Tell me 3 weeks and I will cope. Tell me Long Beach needs power first to pump out their flooded homes and I will donate a week of juice to help them. (if you know me, I would… just don’t share that with my neighbors). I will even be your evangelist. But tell me nothing and ignore my tweets and you only inflame me.

Sending out an SOS. (fyi, it could be the 12 day sinus infection that is making me crankier)
Photo credit: Amy Zimmerman. Model Release: my deceased apple tree leaning on my neighbor’s house. If you know of a tree guy with some free time, give me a shout.
NOVEMBER 9TH UPDATE:
I will take back my comment about judging whether they were doing the job well or not… it is apparent this is, as Rep. Steve Israel said, ‘a disaster managing a disaster.
In a press conference today, local officials called for the Federal Government to take over the recovery effort from LIPA. Lack of communication with the public was one of the major complaints. A request was made to have a federal plan implemented immediately. Watch the press conference here

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Filed under current events, Uncategorized

Zombie Industries

This was in the window of a store next to the restaurant we ate at last weekend. I can tell you this is surely not the average window display on Long Island.

I love the name Zombie Industries. Their tagline is Destroy the Undead.

Nice.

You can actually submit your very own zombie kill video on their site. They even have a friggin zombie outbreak map! And bleeding zombie targets!! I suppose you can never be too prepared for the zombie apocalypse. (fyi, I just finished reading Jenny Lawson’s book Let’s Pretend this Never Happened and I am pretty sure she would love to hang this image on her wall).

Do people really buy this crap? Um… Gary does have an abnormal obsession with all things zombie. Note to self: possible father’s day gift in the event that I lose my mind and want to lose the relationship with all my neighbors.

Please discuss.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, gary

When you are expecting a dead mouse you get a flood


This would be my version of We Plan and G-d Laughs. Simply put, it is never what you expect that is the thing that gets you.

We were fortunate enough to be invited to spend the 3rd and 4th with friends Out East. For those of you not from Long Island, Out East is where you want to be invited whenever you can. The Hamptons, as it is called, include some non-hampton named towns but in general the whole east end of the south fork of our lovely island is sand, sea, hydrangea, hedges heaven. We were just about getting to the gateway to the area when we got a phone message, “Ame, call me, we have ‘a situation’ at the house.”

This did not sound good.

I called back to find out that the hose under the sink had burst and not only did they have a pool in the backyard, they now had one in the basement and the beginning of one on the main floor.

What about the mouse? Don’t get your underwear in a knot, I am getting to the mouse. Sunday night, when leaving the house, a mousetrap was set to catch a little varmint that had been leaving evidence about. With this in mind, a certain member of this clan was a bit hesitant to enter the house alone in fear of finding the dead mouse.

So instead, she found a flood.

Morale of the story: bring hip waders to the beach? Nope, the moral is no matter what you are worried about, you can be sure something completely unrelated is what is going to happen.

But, this group is agile, we still managed to have a fabulous time with plenty of food, drink, and an extra helping of the saviors from the local Servpro. Thanks to my fabulous  experience with them this year, they were the first ones to come to mind. Consider this a plug for one of the most amazing operations out there for flood and fire remediations… 24/7 365!

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Filed under friendship, holidays, homeowner, humor

Fashionotsa

That would not be fashion nazi. I am a fashioNOTsa.

Or why I suck at shopping.

I know, I am a Jewish girl from Long Island and therefore it is expected that I love to shop. But I don’t. I hate it AND I suck at it. Perhaps I should explore my true lineage.

But sometimes you just need stuff. So after a lovely meeting this morning and a surprise lunch with Gary (because I was on the 59th Street bridge and had to pee so badly I had to stop at his office), seeing that I had no deadlines tomorrow, I ventured out into the consumer jungle.

Did I mention I hate this worse than going to the dentist? At least there I can get sweet air. These are the 5 reasons why:

  1. The woman in the next dressing room at Lord & Taylor spent a solid 15 minutes on the phone with one of her son’s teachers and for the life of me I could not imagine how she kept trying on clothes without ever shutting up. All I can surmise was that her son is screwed from her micromanagement and someone should tell her that talking on the phone and trying on clothing does not constitute multi-tasking.
  2. I need to see the dermatologist as soon as humanly possible because the lighting in every dressing room made me see that I must have no less than 5 horrible derm conditions. Fluorescent lighting and dressing rooms: who is responsible?
  3. There are no circumstances in which a 3 way mirror is OK.
  4. Clothes on. Clothes off. Repeat. How can this be fun? Well, I know how but this is the wrong context.
  5. I always have to pee and the bathrooms are always in a different zip code than the women’s clothing. Why is that?

The only funny part of today was the cashier at Century 21. She had a very heavy accent and as she checked me out this was our conversation:

She: Your zin cone?

Me: (no idea what that means) Um, no thanks (afraid to agree to anything in fear it might be hard to undo).

She: No, no, no… your zin cone?!

Me: Sorry, not getting what that is.

She: Zin cone. Zin cone. Zin cone! (as if saying it 3 times will make me understand)

Me: (starting to get the giggles and wishing I had a witness) I am so sorry but I have NO idea what you are saying. Maybe you want to write it down.

She: Zin cone. You know… town. 1-1-something-something-something (she loves to repeat herself).

Me: OH! YOU MEAN ZIP CODE.

At this point I simply looked around for the camera and then split.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, shopping

Time to Cry Tuesday – T-shirt Wisdom

This past weekend we went to a gathering that I would best describe as The Field of Aging Hippies. Some were authentic hangers-on of a nostalgic era, others just dusted off their tie-dye for the occasion, still others were young enough to be second (and third) generations lovers of the culture and the freedom it represented. But mostly it was a group of people brought together with the common bond of loving a genre of music.

This was Jerryfest, Long Island style. In celebration of Jerry Garcia‘s birthday (which is oddly almost 2 months ago) a group of local bands were assembled to play the sound that simply made all that were there feel good. We thought it would be a fun way to spend an indian summer Sunday with some friends and the musicians were surprisingly amazing.

One look at the crowd and you could see that life had not been so good to some of them, while others were doing just fine but still had that soft spot in their hearts for their coming of age sound. All ages, all shapes and sizes and some of the best T-shirts I have seen in a long time.

My favorite is the one above. Gotta love a kid with the First Amendment on his back. This guy looked to have been in diapers or not even born when Jerry died, but he surely embodied the spirit of the band’s culture.

This next guy wore a perfect blend of 2 passions – you have to love the Grateful Jets shirt he was wearing. Deadheads and football, how much more All American can you get?

Now this guy I like to call the Bourgeois Deadhead. The ‘I loved The Dead in College and now I summer in my beach house and listen to the Grateful Dead on Sirius/XM’ sort of guy.

And when all else fails, you can always let your freak flag fly like this guy. No matter the outfit, or the walk of life, the beauty of a day like this was a crowd of seemingly unrelated souls coming together to share a little joy.

What could be bad about that?

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Filed under communities, music, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Fugitive Finder

The other night we stopped by the King Kullen to pick up dessert to bring to a friend’s house. On the way out between the Pennysavers and the auto finders was none other than…

The Fugitive Finder.

I love their tagline: We are keeping Long Island safe… and you can help!

Yikes!

Really? In our sleepy little town this is the last item I would have expected to find on the way out of a supermarket . We particularly liked the Fugitive of the Month on the cover. I shudder to think how he earned that spot. Note that this paper is free. Seriously, would someone pay for the Fugitive Finder? Or is there a worry that it would be stolen? The whole thing is a bit creepy.

If you are wondering who advertised in there we found a Become a Security Guard ad, a couple of attorneys, a bail bondsmen, a staff and recruitment company (odd, to say the least) and on their website this ad was my absolute favorite!

Guess someone was scorned out there in Quogue.

We picked this copy of the Fugitive Finder up as a gift for our friend the criminal attorney.

He was touched.

 

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Filed under absurdities, communities, humor