Tag Archives: The Bloggess

Zombie Industries

This was in the window of a store next to the restaurant we ate at last weekend. I can tell you this is surely not the average window display on Long Island.

I love the name Zombie Industries. Their tagline is Destroy the Undead.

Nice.

You can actually submit your very own zombie kill video on their site. They even have a friggin zombie outbreak map! And bleeding zombie targets!! I suppose you can never be too prepared for the zombie apocalypse. (fyi, I just finished reading Jenny Lawson’s book Let’s Pretend this Never Happened and I am pretty sure she would love to hang this image on her wall).

Do people really buy this crap? Um… Gary does have an abnormal obsession with all things zombie. Note to self: possible father’s day gift in the event that I lose my mind and want to lose the relationship with all my neighbors.

Please discuss.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, gary

Does this SUV make my ass look fat?

Fuel Crisis

Nothing like a ‘does this make my ass look fat’ post to start the year off right!

Once again, thanks to my BBFF MizLiz, another absurdity has been brought to my attention. I don’t know how I missed this one last week.

A Beverly Hills doc, Craig Alan Bittner, decided to power his car with the human fat extracted during liposuction. I kid you not. Fat contains triglycerides that can be turned into diesel. Basically we are saying the fatter the ass the longer the ride?

Should his patients be asking for doggie bags so they don’t need to stop at the gas station on the way home from surgery? My crazy friend The Bloggess kept berating her vet to give her the ovaries from her cat after she was spade, is this so different?

Before you run out and book yourself an appointment to shrink ‘er down and gas ‘er up I am sorry to inform you that Dr. Bittner has closed his practice to volunteer in a small clinic in South America. One where there is a gas shortage, you ask? Don’t start getting all warm and fuzzy about the guy, in actuality he closed his practice because he is involved in a lawsuit with 3 patients because he allowed his ASSISTANT and his GIRLFRIEND to perform surgeries without a medical license. The attorney for the 3 patients said he removed too much fat (is there really such a thing as removing too much fat) and left them disfigured.

Sure, but did they or did they not have a full tank of gas when they left?

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, current events, health, lawsuits, women