Tag Archives: liposuction

Does this SUV make my ass look fat?

Fuel Crisis

Nothing like a ‘does this make my ass look fat’ post to start the year off right!

Once again, thanks to my BBFF MizLiz, another absurdity has been brought to my attention. I don’t know how I missed this one last week.

A Beverly Hills doc, Craig Alan Bittner, decided to power his car with the human fat extracted during liposuction. I kid you not. Fat contains triglycerides that can be turned into diesel. Basically we are saying the fatter the ass the longer the ride?

Should his patients be asking for doggie bags so they don’t need to stop at the gas station on the way home from surgery? My crazy friend The Bloggess kept berating her vet to give her the ovaries from her cat after she was spade, is this so different?

Before you run out and book yourself an appointment to shrink ‘er down and gas ‘er up I am sorry to inform you that Dr. Bittner has closed his practice to volunteer in a small clinic in South America. One where there is a gas shortage, you ask? Don’t start getting all warm and fuzzy about the guy, in actuality he closed his practice because he is involved in a lawsuit with 3 patients because he allowed his ASSISTANT and his GIRLFRIEND to perform surgeries without a medical license. The attorney for the 3 patients said he removed too much fat (is there really such a thing as removing too much fat) and left them disfigured.

Sure, but did they or did they not have a full tank of gas when they left?

You can’t make this stuff up!

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Filed under absurdities, body image, current events, health, lawsuits, women

Does Fluffy REALLY Need a Facelift?

Actually, it was liposuction that was cited in another of a series of outrageous ‘health-related’ articles this weekend, but as my friend Barb pointed out, the alliteration worked better in the title. And of course I LOVE alliterations.

Once again, the Sunday NYT did not disappoint for blog material. 

Cover of the mag section… Animal Pharm. Here is the article “Pill Popping Pets” (of course I like my title better)

Some staggering statistiscs:

• Americans forked over $49 billion for pet products and services last year, up $11.5 billion from 2003

• other than consumer electronics, pet products are the fastest-growing retail segment. (remind me again why I am not tapping into this market?)

• A third of the total spending, and the fastest-growing category, is health care, with treatments formerly reserved for people — root canals, chemotherapy, and you guessed it, liposuction AND mood pills — being administered to pets. (I have been doing work in the healthcare market for years, again, why am I not tapping into this?)

Now, I am not one to judge pet health care spending. After all, when my dog (the greatest animal ever born) was under 3 she had not one, but two knee surgeries. (Hey, what was I supposed to do when she blew them out, get her a little cart?) And I do love her to death but quite frankly her fat ass will not be getting any liposuction if mine isn’t. 

Perhaps I should say, “F the lipo, eat a big bowl of kibble”.

The administering of anti-depressants to dogs is also more than I can handle. How about this quote:

For lonely dogs with separation anxiety, Eli Lilly brought to market its own drug Reconcile last year. The only difference between it and Prozac is that Reconcile is chewable and tastes like beef.

OMG, can you imagine the mix up with a family member? “Honey, I took my meds this morning and the strangest thing happened, I have been craving a burger all day”.

My last word on this:


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Filed under humor, pets