Monthly Archives: March 2010

Dylan in a Doorway

I love this shot. Looks like he can step right out of it and lay down on that makeshift couch.

Not sure about the significance of the red seahorse. Any thoughts on this? Then again if you ready Dylan’s autobiography just about anything would make sense.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, New York, New York City

Ah… Americans!

I snapped this shot at JFK airport. This kid was in full tilt meltdown mode and this mom was so nonchalant I found it hard to believe she had not be lobotomized. Her solution to her kid losing it was to basically hang him by his shirt.

From her finger.

Take a look at this pose. She is looking off in the distance barely paying attention to the little monster. At one point he was suspended in mid-air by his shirt. He continued to scream and rant and she continued ignoring him. A textbook portrait of fine parenting for sure.

But, I do kind of like the way they are dressed alike.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, family, humor, moms

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Original 4

If you have been reading along these past few days you would know that I took a trip to Florida to see my parents with my brother. We left our spouses home. And our kids? Well, they aren’t kids anymore so they have their own lives and we can’t lure them places with pool noodles and water wings. Although the promise of a good ice cream sandwich and free drinks at happy hour might get them to join us.

This was a bit of a last minute trip for me and I am so glad I took it. I can count on my hand the times in the past 25 years that it has just been the 4 of us. And sadly I would have to say most of those times were not surrounding very pleasant circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, we adore having our spouses and families with us, as do our parents. But there is something very special about going back to the original family unit of your childhood for a short time. My husband did it earlier this season (well 4 of his original 5 made it) and he too, appreciated having that historical dynamic.

This was the first extended period of time that we were able to just hang out and enjoy each other’s company. For so many years our interactions centered around the kids. Our professional lives are very demanding and leave us little time to just be. Lost were the days that we could sit at a table uninterrupted and have a complete conversation. This weekend was a gift of healthy (well except for mom’s 24 hour bug) parents and time to enjoy them.

With the backdrop of South Florida’s planned communities as never ending fodder for humor we had a lot of laughs.

Funny, we sat in the back seat of my dad’s car in our childhood positions. Fortunately we did not bicker. Since my brother is 4 1/2 years older I never did stand a chance in a fight and always wound up crying or having a nose bleed (don’t ask).

Times like this are a breeding ground for childhood memories. We talked of things that were long forgotten. The simple thrill of going to work with my dad when we were kids; the smell of the subway, the pretzels on the street, the chestnuts, eating lunch at the Automat, going to Kresge’s Five and Dime to buy junk. My dad was the original Bring Your Child to Work Day guy. And not just my brother, he expected the same from me as he did from his son; no double standard in our house. We talked about my mom’s garden (and the gardener, G-d help that poor man) and how excited she is to get back to nurturing her plants.

We discussed family holidays when we were kids and how my grandmother used to bring Jordan Almonds, jellied fruit slices and Dunkin’ Donuts to our house. Beach days with the children when they were babies, and how they have all grown up to be such amazing young adults.

These are the little things that make up a life. Nothing truly monumental (although some would beg to differ about the Jordan Almonds), just the details that give us all history; lives made up not of days, but of moments.

Thanks Mom and Dad, not only for a lovely weekend, but for teaching us how to be parents. And giving us the gift of your time – whenever we have needed you.

Happy Passover (and pass me a tissue, please).

Oh and if you are all wondering, yes, that is my brother’s Bar Mitzvah picture. Cute wasn’t I? (in a mousey sort of way). Looks like something straight out of A Serious Man.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under aging parents, family, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays, travel

Florida Soundbites

Florida: Day 4 and leaving.

I thought I would wrap this one up with some funny things that were said or seen over the weekend. But first I would like to give a big shout out WHAT THE HELL to the two women who just sat behind me in the Jet Blue terminal at PBI. I am an hour early for my flight because I love airports my brother’s flight was earlier and I am literally one of 4 people at the gate. These two blabbermouths had to sit in the seats directly behind me and yack away…

in a foreign language. SERIOUSLY!

Ok, so here are some of the funnier things from the weekend:

My Aunt: My mother told me that she loved my father more after he was dead.

My Cousin: While playing a game with all the grandmothers when they were still with us (this was the generation of my grandmother) in response to body parts that come in pairs my Aunt’s mother (from above) responded, “Penis” This could explain why she stayed with her husband for so many years, even if she loved him more after he was dead.

My Mom: (in response to my dad saying that I had a great sense of humor) Yeh, especially when it comes to poo. (ok, my brother and I discuss bodily functions maybe a little bit more than average siblings).

My Dad: You have to understand all our weather comes from the West. It comes in from the Gulf of Mexico. That means we get used weather.

For a nice little wrap up, here are three of my favorite signs:

1. This billboard sits outside the road leading to my parents’ community. I believe it is placed there just in case all the Northerners of ‘the tribe’ had any questions about His existence.

2. This Derm seems to cover it all. Permanant make-up? WTF? What if you want to change color. Is it like the mood ring material? And would you really trust someone with your skin cancer that does permanent makeup?  Just asking?

3. I will close with the creepy child mannequin and the miracle suit poster, just because this says so much.

In closing, I will quote a dear friend who said this about visiting Florida,  “just remember that you are watching a movie in which you will play the LEADING role some time in the future.”

My answer to that is, “I only pray I will be so lucky.”

Thanks Mom and Dad for a great visit. And Keith, no one makes me laugh quite like you.

Let the Matzoh begin!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under aging parents, family, religion, road signs, things i've heard, travel

Florida Real Estate

Florida: Day 3

A constant source of entertainment here in South Florida are the names of the planned communities. Like the famous Del Boca Vista of Seinfeld, the naming conventions are quite comical.

Driving home from dinner with my aunt and uncle we passed a favorite: Villagio. Not to be confused with Bellagio. It seems they start to run out of names so they create hybrids. Which is a bit scary since everyone is sort of hard of hearing and could easily wind up in the wrong place.

Here you can also find Valencia Isles, Valencia Lakes, Valencia Pointe and Valencia Shores. My uncle told us that the fire department got fed up and asked them to change things up because it was becoming too confusing.

So they built Greystone.

It would appear that if you live in one of the Valencias chances are your house could burn down before they find you. Something to consider when looking at Greystone.

But our favorite community of all would have to be…

Journey’s End.

Seriously, why not just name the place G-d’s Waiting Room.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, signage

Why My Mom is Like an iPad

Florida Day 2

My Brother: So, are you going to get the iPad?

Me: Nope, not the first generation. It doesn’t have a camera, doesn’t support Flash and has no memory.

My Mom: Jeez, that sounds like me.

Can’t make this stuff up.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under aging parents, conversations, family, humor, moms, technology

Transvestites, Loehmanns and the Plate Glass Window

For those who do not know, I am in Florida visiting my parents. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentelman, I am in the the land of Del Boca Del Vista Del Mar Del… vodka please!

If you have never been to the east coast of Florida (west of 95) then think Seinfeld’s parents.

First, my mom made sure I took a sweater because ‘the restaurants down here are freezing’. Um, Mah, I am a menopausal women. Yeh, well, 85 in the restaurant, hands down.

Right about now you are wondering about the transvestites, right? Ok, so we met my Aunt Arlene Whose Not My Aunt and Bert who we never called Uncle Bert and he has finally gotten over being bummed out about that for dinner. (neither of them is a transvestite, hold on, I am getting to it). Growing up she was like my second mom. She and my mother have been best friends since they were girls and she is truly family. We have not seen eachother in a couple of years and tonight she did not disappoint.

Somehow we talked about how they used to take me to Loehmanns when I was little and how freaky the communal dressing room was with all those ladies of different shapes and sizes with the pantyhose and no underwear and the makeup nets on their faces. (I know, a visual to scar any young girl, may explain my severe aversion to pantyhose)

Next they started to talk about when they would go to the Bronx Loehmanns – the Long Island woman’s mecca of fashion bargains. This was a major trip, mind you. They would pack a lunch! They called it ‘doing battle’. Well, it seems Arlene took one such trip without my mom and wouldn’t you know as she came out of the elevator first she saw, “you know that actress that just lost all the weight on Jenny Craig”. “Oh”, I said, “Valerie Bertanelli”. Yes that was it. And right after she gave her a little high sign of a wave, who should come  off the elevator but…

a pack of transvestites.

“What?”, I asked.

“Oh, yes”, she said, ” they come for the ball gowns.”

Who knew?

Then she went on to tell me about a group of transvetites in Forida who would drive a car through the plateglass window of a high-end boutique in Delray to steal the fancy gowns. The woman moved her store and they found her again so she finally closed shop.

And who knew Arl was such an expert on transvestites.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, aging parents, humor, moms, vacation