Monthly Archives: June 2009

To the young women on the cell phone on the train…

Travelling backpacker

Did you think you were alone in that car? Were you under the impression that all of us sitting near you were deaf? More than once I have been on a train where people have aired their dirty laundry as if they were the only ones around. I have heard about family feuds, business deals gone bad, the intimate details of teen children’s social lives and marriages on the brink. But never have I heard a conversation quite like this one.

By the end of the 35 minute trip to the city I knew more about your life than I do about most of my dear friends. Because of the sheer stupidity of airing your dirty laundry on a commuter train, I will honor that by sharing some sound bytes with my readers. Hold on to your hats, kids, this chick is out there. Quotes are from her, italics are my commentary.

“So he said to me, “Tell your dad if all he cares about is his money, he can suck my dick.” 

Hmmm, good start, right?

“I mean he broke my heart and stole my money. I told him he is going to have to work really hard to win me back.”

Ummm, why do you WANT him back?

“He wants to know why we can’t just be together. It’s so sad cuz we used to have so much fun till he stole my (dad’s) credit cards.”

Wait, he stole your credit cards and you are thinking you can work things out?

“He complained that my family is just all about the money and I told him that is what Long Island is like. He’s from Brooklyn and just does not get it.”

Sweetie, I think he gets it fine. He seems pretty much about the money if he stole yours. And, correct me if I am wrong but I think there are plenty of parts of Brooklyn that are about the money. Have you ever been to the Heights?

“He gets all defensive as if I did something wrong whenever I want to talk about him paying us back. It is so weird.”

Weird? Sounds kind of psychopathic to me.

And this is my fave of all:

“I told him he needs to learn that going to school is better than stealing and dealing drugs.”

Ya think? What the hell!

I was told today that people sense my being and then they perform for me so I can blog about it. Could that actually be true? Could I be a cosmic magnet for the absurd?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, conversations, humor, things i've heard, travel, women

Time to Cry Tuesday-Nunley’s Ferris Wheel

nunley's-ferris-wheel

Ever stumble upon a piece of your childhood and feel like your breath had been stolen? The sight of this old relic caused both Gary and I to stop in our tracks. Believe it or not, we grew up in the same town. Being way older than I – not really, but I like to say that – and having moved in his early teens, our paths did not cross until later on.

Both of us stood in front of this broken down blast from the past and realized that our very first experiences on a ferris wheel had been on this very ride. I remember exactly where it was positioned to the left of the doorway, just outside the main building that housed the carousel. And the little boats where right behind it. The thought of what was breeding in that water would make a modern day mama cringe.

Damn, that thing looked so big back then. And new(ish) for I am sure it had been around for awhile by the time I road it. 

nunley's-signNunley’s was a sweet little amusement park on Long Island that seemed like a Six Flags to me when I was a kid. If you lived anywhere on the south shore in Nassau County, you knew Nunley’s. A promise to visit this magical place made everyone happy.

It was on its carousel that I first learned about trying to catch the brass ring. When you caught one your day was complete.

I suppose many are still out there trying to catch it again. 

Me? I was just happy to visit with an old friend. And share that memory with my husband. Who says you can’t go home again?

(FYI, this old baby now resides in front of Jordan’s Lobster Farms, another great south shore landmark. You might also like to know that the carousel has been restored and you can take a ride on it at Museum Row in Garden City)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under carry a camera, communities, family, museums, places of interest, signage

Harry Potter Landscaping

harry-potter-lawn

I have passed this house before and it never registered what those slates were up against the wall. If you look closely they are Harry Potter characters.

There is virtually no landscaping on this side of the house that faces the main road in a beach town, other than the lone red impatien planted by the brick wall. 

Stopped at a red light it registered what this was and this image is the result of a split second decision to take the shot before we moved. For once, I was not driving.

I wonder what drove the homeowner to paint these slates and keep them as the sole adornment on their property. 

Odd at best.

I find myself singing the Mysterious Ticking Noice video song in my head when I see this. Go ahead, what the video, there is nothing that is both more annoying or more addictive.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, art, humor

Neverland Sleepaway Camp

 

neverland-sleepaway-camp

Ok, for those who wondered why there was no Michael Jackson post, here it is.

We were at an outdoor seafood place by the water today and saw this guy wearing a Neverland Sleepaway Camp t-shirt. It looked worn so my guess is he has had it for quite awhile. What a perfect weekend to break it out. Note the kid and the MJ silo in the picture. 

Like many in my generation, Michael Jackson was the soundtrack of my coming of age. He was our peer. Yet while we were riding bikes and doing homework he was traveling the world and performing on our TV sets. This took its toll on him and the impact grew in ways we will never understand.

As we grew up, he grew stranger. His talent became overshadowed by his eccentricities. The adoring public turns on a dime – in life and in death. Now he is simultaneously being judged and canonized. 

Here’s to the King of Pop, may he finally rest in peace.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under carry a camera, current events, loss

Pick Your Nose

pick-your-nose_2

Once again, I am jealous of a product name and sorry I did not come up with it. Both the item and the category are brilliant. A little further online digging and I came up with these, which are just as clever.

Pick Your Nose Cups are hysterical. What kid would not love to drink out of one of these. And Party Animals is the perfect name for the series.

Do you think the idea for these came one drunken night when someone was drawing on all the cups at a party? For those who do not know, I went to art school. Stuff like that happened all the time. We even went through a Christo phase when we wrapped peoples’ cars while they were sleeping. I think we wrapped the trees and the front door too. I need to find those pictures.

Now you can understand why I am so envious when I see a product like this. Surely I should have come up with this idea. Although I don’t know how lucrative they were because if you will note the price tag, I found this at Home Goods and they were only $4.99. I need to be careful at these places, I was snapping away all sorts of funny pictures and I think the staff was starting to get weird about it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, products

Um, did you steal that dress?

grad-dress2

Tomorrow is graduation in my town. If you read Time to Cry Tuesday this week you saw the emotional side of Jana’s graduation 2 years ago. This post is to make you all laugh, and get a full picture of the runaway train I call my life. I thought it was time for a little levity since all my girls are a bit weepy this week – myself included. Nostalgia is contagious. It is kind of like a contact breakdown.

The picture above is the bottom of Jana’s graduation dress. Why we had to buy one is beyond me because they wear gowns, but a day or two before graduation we were frantically pulling sundresses and espadrilles off  shelves in an attempt to have the perfect outfit.

Jana walked into the cafeteria to wait with all the graduates. She was sitting at a table with her friends when someone asked, “Hey Jan, did you steal that dress?” She looked at them like they were crazy and said, “Yeh, I steal all my clothes, why?”. The answer was an honest one, “Well, I was just asking because you still have the security tag on the bottom of that dress.”

Typical! 

For some reason that spring everywhere I shopped they left the security tags on. No really. I swear I am not a kleptomaniac. A maniac, yes, but not a klepto.

The best part of this story is that we cleaned her closet this week and found the dress, security tag still fastened. I put it in the bag for the Good Will bins and drop it off this week. I hope they don’t track me down from my used clothes and try to arrest me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, humor, Jana

City Sliquors

city-sliquors

Thank goodness I had my camera and we hit a red light. I must have passed this place a million times and never noticed it. Oh wait, maybe those flags are a dead give away that this is new. (sharp, right?)

This is on 21st Street in Long Island City, if you were wondering.

What a perfect name, I wish I had thought of it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under signage

Would you buy a used vacuum?

Jana is moving into a new apartment in August and we are busy shopping for all the domestic items we can think of. We have become involved in a bargain hunting game with her roommates and their moms. Today I found a really inexpensive vacuum at Target and was so excited about it. I know, scary that a vacuum excites me. Actually that kind of sucks. (sorry)

We were talking about it at dinner and Gary suggested that we could get a much better quality vacuum, used on Craigs List. By the looks of the Madison page for vacuums, he is not wrong.

But seriously! A used vacuum?! Doesn’t that have kind of an EW factor to it? Danny thought by buying a used one we ran the risk of purchasing a vacuum that had been used to pick up poop. Hmmmm, can you pick up poop with a vacuum? Maybe tiny poop, like mouse droppings or maybe even some kitty litter encrusted cat feces. I was thinking that in a college town vomit would be more likely. You know, the kind that hardens a bit overnight on the rug and then you sprinkle some baking soda on it and then try to vacuum it up. What? Does it sound like I have experience with this? Maybe.

We were 3 to 1 in our family, opposed to the idea of the used vacuum due to the possible ickification of it. We decided to ask friends who stopped by our table on their way out ofthe restaurant. They were split. Surprisingly he said no to used while she is a big fan of Craigs List and was in favor.

We decided the only way to settle this was to bring it to the blog for a poll. So, even if you are a lurker, please cast your vote as this is of dire importance to national security. Or maybe we are just curious.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, Jana, polls, products

Time to Cry Tuesday – This is not a dress rehearsal…

I have decided to make this an annual post at graduation time, until next year when I will have another graduate to write about. I wrote this before I was a blogger. It was an email I sent to those who had been parenting with me since preschool. It was written on the morning of my daughter’s HS graduation. Funny how I have become the mom in the last paragraph. Perfect timing as she is leaving tomorrow for the summer after just a few short weeks at home.

This one is for all my girls (and guys) who are launching their girls (and a guy) this year: to Jo (& Mo), Karen (& Todd), Joyce (& David), Maddee (& Alan), Susan (& Neil), Michelle (& Daryl), Lisa (& Rob), and Nancy (& Uncle Neal). Grab your tissues and your hats, this one is not for the faint of heart!

This is not a dress rehearsal…

or watch the temp when you decide to iron the graduation gown. 

6AM on the day that my first child graduates high school. 

how can this be, she was just a curly-headed little whirling dervish whose door i had to hold shut as she was throwing her ever famous brand of temper tantrums. that same door with the loose latch from all the times she slammed it for effect when she stormed into her room in her tweens. you know the one, who at five years old marched into nuerosurgery to ‘get her neck fixed’ and never once asked ‘why me?’. 

who was that radiant young woman that walked out of the house wednesday morning with her car packed and her keys in hand saying, “don’t worry mom, i have the garmin GPS, i don’t need a map!” 

well i think, perhaps, i need a map today. someone tell me how to navigate this road. we surely have had enough practice. we graduate them ad nauseum – from the 4’s, kindergarten, 5th grade, 8th grade – the most graduated generation of all times. you would think we would get used to it. but this year’s cap does not have flourescent orange and green finger paint decorating it. this kid has actually grown up! how dare she. does she not know that my bravado this year has all been an act. of course i could not be ready for her to be the competant, independent, grab-the-world-by-the-balls person i worked so hard to raise. does she not know i was only kidding!! wisconsin?!! that is halfway across the country! 

i digress – back to the gown and the iron. being a working mom i always look for ways to overcompensate and make sure that i am doing the mom thing as well as the work thing. so, of course, they both are never really quite up to the standard i expect. somewhere in the 4-page green directions for graduation (you know the one, where the assistant principal gives them a 10 bullet list for how to enjoy graduation and prom, 9 of which stress not drinking or doing drugs) there was mention of taking the gown out of the bag and ironing it. at midnight i was the mom who would just hang it up. at 6AM i decided no daughter of mine will graduate with a wrinkled gown! 

so why is it, exactly, that they make these things out of the same material as basketball shimmer shorts?! 

no, you will not be able to notice my daughter by the big brown iron mark on the back of her white gown. but if you look close, you may notice that on the front left shoulder the fabric is, how should i put it, a tad ‘melted’. 

as jana would say, ‘it’s FINE’. as my parents would say, i did it ‘the Amy way’. 

a huge thank you to the jana who has become one of my favorite people on earth to spend time with. surely the one that knows me the best, and loves me anyway. sometimes it seems that she is raising me. i think her humor and radiant smile will get me through this one. levity has always been her strong point. 

love and congrats to all of you who have been in the parenting trenches with me the past 18 years. for some of you it is your first, others, your last. it is never easy to watch them go. but then again, we could all use a rest. and as my mommy mentors tell me, they come home, stay out all night, sleep late and bring lots of laundry.  

let the games begin!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under communities, education, family, friendship, Jana, moms

Don’t be a dick…


dont-be-a-dick-life-is-good

Life is good.

Ok, do I really need to say anything else here? Just one thing:

I wish I waited in that parking lot to see who got into that car. 

(please also note Grateful Dead dancing bears sticker)

____________________________________________________________

On another note, would you be so kind as to vote for my blog buddy blondemomblog asthe best local blog/nashville because she is really cool and I would love to see her win.Click here and vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under carry a camera, photography, signage