Tag Archives: home goods

Egyptian Cotton Blanket is the New Mattress Cover

If you have been falling the saga of Jana’s new bed you would know that there is most probably a wanted poster hung in every linen department within 30 miles of my home. After 3 shots at a mattress cover and a nice sunny day for air drying I am happy to report the last one is on the bed and quite comfy.

Enter the navy blue egyptian cotton woven blanket. I love these. I put them on all the beds, layering them with quilts to give temperature options to my poor kids who have to live with their menopausal mom and kinda hairy dad who like to keep this house somewhere between meat freezer and wind tunnel temp.

So, I finally get the damn mattress cover on the bed, put on the yummy soft butter yellow million thread count sheets that I got a great deal on at Home Goods (they thanked me for not returning these) and floated down the navy blue woven blanket on top of them, straight out of the bag when I noticed that it smelled like – as Jana would say – ass! Seriously, it had the worst odor. AND it left all these little navy blue pills all over the pretty pale yellow sheet!

So of course I read the label and tossed that baby in the wash (on delicate with like colors) then into the dryer (on low heat). Yeh, well, the thing came out of the dryer with a million pulls in it AND there was a full puppy’s worth of navy blue lint overflowing from the trap (luckily no fire in the machine).

Yep, back to Bed Bath and Beyond with this sucker. I did contemplate wearing a nose and glasses to disguise myself at the customer service desk. But oddly there was never a question on any of these returns, even without a receipt. They just swiped my card and told me to have a lovely day.

I can’t be the only one having these problems. Can I?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, products

The Mattress Cover Debacle

Why is it that I tend to find myself in situations that make me feel like I am living in a bad sitcom?

For those who do not know, my lovely daughter will be arriving home this Saturday after a semester abroad. She will be spending the first summer in 11 years at home – a story for another time. Since she has been gone for the better part of the past three years we never replaced the bed in her room. The very same twin bed that she has had since she got out of the junior bed when she was 5; that would be 16 years ago. It’s time, we certainly got our money’s worth.

We promised her, as she put it, a big girl’s bed before she came home. In true Amy fashion it was purchased and delivered within the last week before she arrives.

Of course I needed to get a nice fluffy cotton mattress cover and OF COURSE no self-respecting mom would put it on the bed without washing it. I mean everyone knows that the people in those factories have sex on those things before packing them (or worse) and it must be washed (with Downy) before ‘any daughter of mine will sleep on it’. Please refer back to this post about ironing her graduation gown that did not work out all that well either.

Mattress pad #1: Purchased for a song at Home Goods. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and the damn thing melted! Seems there is some skeeve guard lining under the gazillion thread count cotton that is not all that fond of dryer heat. Home Goods took it back, no problem. So much for a bargain (even if it was Ralph Lauren and the tag said tumble dry low)

Mattress pad #2: Purchased from Bed, Bath and Beyond. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and… yep, same deal. Even on low. Yes I am an idiot. At this point my dear friend Karen who had told me to air dry it confirmed my idiocy. And my new friend @squashedmom told me on twitter that i need to use the no heat setting (who knew, obviously NOT ME)

Mattress pad #3: BBB kindly let me exchange #2 saying they were surprised it melted and apologized. Seriously is this not happening to anyone else?! Ok, #3 in as many days is washed and air drying when I notice the NO HEAT setting on the dryer. Not gonna lie, popped it in there for 10. No melting but there were signs of a revolt going on around the edges so I stopped.

Yes, my domesticity is going down the toilet. And yes, I never learn.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, moms, parenting, products

Pick Your Nose


Once again, I am jealous of a product name and sorry I did not come up with it. Both the item and the category are brilliant. A little further online digging and I came up with these, which are just as clever.

Pick Your Nose Cups are hysterical. What kid would not love to drink out of one of these. And Party Animals is the perfect name for the series.

Do you think the idea for these came one drunken night when someone was drawing on all the cups at a party? For those who do not know, I went to art school. Stuff like that happened all the time. We even went through a Christo phase when we wrapped peoples’ cars while they were sleeping. I think we wrapped the trees and the front door too. I need to find those pictures.

Now you can understand why I am so envious when I see a product like this. Surely I should have come up with this idea. Although I don’t know how lucrative they were because if you will note the price tag, I found this at Home Goods and they were only $4.99. I need to be careful at these places, I was snapping away all sorts of funny pictures and I think the staff was starting to get weird about it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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