The Mattress Cover Debacle

Why is it that I tend to find myself in situations that make me feel like I am living in a bad sitcom?

For those who do not know, my lovely daughter will be arriving home this Saturday after a semester abroad. She will be spending the first summer in 11 years at home – a story for another time. Since she has been gone for the better part of the past three years we never replaced the bed in her room. The very same twin bed that she has had since she got out of the junior bed when she was 5; that would be 16 years ago. It’s time, we certainly got our money’s worth.

We promised her, as she put it, a big girl’s bed before she came home. In true Amy fashion it was purchased and delivered within the last week before she arrives.

Of course I needed to get a nice fluffy cotton mattress cover and OF COURSE no self-respecting mom would put it on the bed without washing it. I mean everyone knows that the people in those factories have sex on those things before packing them (or worse) and it must be washed (with Downy) before ‘any daughter of mine will sleep on it’. Please refer back to this post about ironing her graduation gown that did not work out all that well either.

Mattress pad #1: Purchased for a song at Home Goods. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and the damn thing melted! Seems there is some skeeve guard lining under the gazillion thread count cotton that is not all that fond of dryer heat. Home Goods took it back, no problem. So much for a bargain (even if it was Ralph Lauren and the tag said tumble dry low)

Mattress pad #2: Purchased from Bed, Bath and Beyond. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and… yep, same deal. Even on low. Yes I am an idiot. At this point my dear friend Karen who had told me to air dry it confirmed my idiocy. And my new friend @squashedmom told me on twitter that i need to use the no heat setting (who knew, obviously NOT ME)

Mattress pad #3: BBB kindly let me exchange #2 saying they were surprised it melted and apologized. Seriously is this not happening to anyone else?! Ok, #3 in as many days is washed and air drying when I notice the NO HEAT setting on the dryer. Not gonna lie, popped it in there for 10. No melting but there were signs of a revolt going on around the edges so I stopped.

Yes, my domesticity is going down the toilet. And yes, I never learn.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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12 Comments

Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, moms, parenting, products

12 responses to “The Mattress Cover Debacle

  1. Liz

    Mattress covers are a necessary evil. They never truly fit the bed the way that they are meant to, and the battle once you wash them is never worth the price of the struggle to get them back on the bed. Love em, hate em.

  2. Too funny. I bought mine on overstock and they’re not that melty kind. But I’ve done what you did before! (never twice in a row though 🙂

    You must be so excited Jana is coming home!

    • sooo, excited. she is too. she said she missed sushi and mac and cheese the most. neither her father and I or her boyfriend are taking that personally. i mean, we are talking sushi and mac and cheese here.

  3. Ivy Mindlin

    Hey this is one of those times….it definitely has happened to people before and will happen to people again, …that someone can learn from your mistake – hopefully.

    Best solution, wash it on a beautiful hot sunny day!!!!

  4. Neal Shrier

    Nice story Lucy! You know how I love mattress stories!

  5. I agree. Our dear child’s bed needs to be given age-appropriate. Children aged 5 years old give a single size mattress to be used. to give teenagers a double size mattress. ok

  6. Megan

    I should have read this before I put my Ralph Lauren mattress cover in the dryer… it melted too – what did you do to clean out the dryer?

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