Monthly Archives: August 2009

Time to Cry Tuesday – First of the Lasts

(this post is dedicated to my girls who have parented a matched set of kids with me since pre-school. you know who you are. thanks for always being there).

We have all been here before. We have all been here before. We have all been here before. We have all been here before. (No, I am not being annoyingly repetitive for no reason, I am quoting David Crosby)

Parental Déjà Vu.

Today marked the unofficial beginning of Danny’s senior year; varsity soccer practice 2-a-days. In seventeen-year-old-ese that means constant running from 8-11:30 and then again from 5-7:30.

Not wanting to be over-dramatic about this, but today, as I wondered through Staples after dropping him at practice, gathering office supplies, bombarded by obscene amounts of back-to-school signage, I realized that this was it.

IT.

Today is the first of the lasts. Last sports season as a parental spectator, last back-to-school season, last school year of having a kid home, last 10 months of an offspring in residence.

Right about now is when I would be sticking my fingers in both ears, babbling to drown out what I have to say next.

I remember all this with my first child. That combination of excitement and fear of losing the life we have known for the past 20 years.

Parental Déjà Vu.

Let the games begin and let me remember to savor ever one of these lasts.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under parenting, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Traveling Shoes

travelin-shoes

Believe it or not, there was a woman on line in front of me at airport security that was wearing these shoes. Imagine what the rest of her outfit looked like. Whatever it is that you are imagining, go one step further.

I am always amazed that anyone would want to travel in anything this uncomfortable. I love her toenail color and the hint of the tattoo on her right angle.

Jana and I loved this woman. We really got a kick out of the way the security screener spent and extra long time looking back and forth between this woman and her photo ID. Her face was a botox playground and I would bet her photo ID was taken before the surgical enhancement.

Don’t you wonder what who was waiting for her on the other end of her flight?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, fashion, travel

ish

1-cupish

If you read me often you will know that my favorite suffix is ‘ish’. I add it to words where it does not usually exist because I have a philosophy that many things in life just are… well, ‘ish’.

Ish is neither here nor there. It does fall in the usual defined, orderly categories of life. Ish is when you think it might be, but maybe not. It is the perfect description for when you need to color outside the lines.

In fact, as far as I am concerned, ish should really be a stand-alone word. Well, actually Urban Dictionary has a few listings for it so I guess I am not alone in that thought.

I saw the measuring cup in the picture at the beginning of this post when I was in Urban Outfitters in Madison (a lot of Urban’s in this post, you might even call it Urbanish). I am not sure why I did not buy it, perhaps it is because I had already bought out Bed Bath and Beyond  and Target and was feeling a little lightish on cash.

So, did you like this post?

ish, maybe?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, products, urban dictionary

Levinson University?

Levinson-University

For those who don’t know me personally, Levinson is my married name. Because Gary and his family don’t want to be associated with my antics For professional reasons, I use my maiden name.

We received this postcard in the mail yesterday. Great promo. I am sure we will have to buy a few of these items as gifts.

But more importantly, this could solve all our problems surrounding sending a second child to college. Levinson University! This is brilliant. Not only could our kids go for free (Jana, you won’t mind transferring, will you?) we can take in other students to make money.

Let’s see, what courses could we teach?

Any suggestions?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, college, family

You Make Your Own Luck

shamrockBullshit!

I have always hated this expression. No not ‘bullshit’, I love that expression. I hate the expression, ‘You Make Your Own Luck’. I would imagine that phrase was first coined by someone who was lucky and then perpetuated by those who were also born under that proverbial of stars.

You make your own opportunities. That is a truth. And sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t but you keep plugging away at them. That is what makes you who you are and the ride worthwhile, even when it is a rocky one. One door closes and another one opens (thanks for that reminder, Rik).

But luck, my friends, that is simply something you have or you don’t.

Case in point: My car lease was up. At the beginning of the summer actually, but we kept extending it because we could not decide on the next car. It went back this morning.

Yesterday I parked it on the street because the boys were playing basketball in the driveway. And what happened? Not one but TWO tickets – expired registration AND inspection. (oops!) $260 and I don’t even get any shoes out of the deal!!

Now, I will blame Gary take full responsibility for not checking on this but seriously, it was going back and we kept extending the lease and never checked. Yeh, I know it is right in front of my face every time I drive but so are the things I hit with my car occasionally so that would be a bad argument.

My point would be this: those who are lucky, coast (and make up infuriating sayings). Those who are not get two tickets the day before they bring the car back.

But hey, I am blessed. And I suppose that is more important than luck when you come down to it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under cars, humor

Rats!

rat-slippers

Yep, rat slippers. These are, by far, the creepiest items I have seen in a long time. I found them on this post featuring 14 unusual slippers. Someone tweeted this the other day and I am so glad I was curious enough to check it out. This link is worth a click as there are many other amusing styles.

None are as outrageous as these suckers. Seriously, can you imagine slipping your feet into them? They look so real I fear that they are actually hollowed out rats. Could that be? They would have to have been made by a taxidermist. And what do you think the inserts are made of?

I am not sure why I find these so amusing. Perhaps because one of Gary’s favorite expressions is, “I don’t give a rat’s ass!” For some reason I always laugh when he says that. It makes no sense at all. If you DO give a rat’s ass does that mean you care deeply about something?

If I buy these for him he can nestle his feet into a rats ass. Kind of.

Oh, and yes, I realize that this post is a far cry from my poignant outpouring about sending my daughter off to college. (SHE will really love these!)

Chalk this all up to the stunning breadth of topics I cover here.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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@shitmydadsays… an Overnight Celeb

Just when twitter was becoming mainstream and frankly a little bit boring, someone came along and broke the clutter.

No one can ever predict what makes something catch on, and surely this one is no exception. Here is the twitter page for @shitmydadsays

@shitmydadsays

Claiming to be a 28-year-old living with his 73-year-old dad who is ‘awesome’ he has decided to ‘just write shit he says’. I would love to believe this is for real, but even if it is not, it is so damn funny I could not help but share.

Which seems to be the sentiment all over the web. I learned about this from my friend Liz, on Facebook. When I started following him yesterday morning he had somewhere in the neighborhood of 23,000 followers. Quite impressive.

Unless of course you consider that fact that this evening he is up to 88,839 followers and going strong. I love the idea that there are 88,838 other people out there who share my sick sense of humor and find this funny.

So far our friend has only sent out a single tweet a day, counter to the running conversations that are commonplace on twitter. AND he only started this account on August 3rd!

Here are my favorites so far:

“The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”

“Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.”

“Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices… Jesus, Joni (my mom) it’s a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn’t even real dammit!”

and this loving parental entry:

“It’s watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don’t even pay rent, just do it. Shit.”

I am not sure what made this guy tip,  or why I and so many others find him so funny. But we do.

Can’t wait to see what kind of deal he cuts from this.

Not unlike Stuff White People Like who landed a book deal in record time and now an internet TV show, sometimes the most ridiculous things hit a chord and catch on.

As The Magnet For The Asburd, I gotta love that!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, conversations, humor