Tag Archives: botox

Vermillion Dollar Lips


This little item comes to you via Dr. Jimmy, the rock ‘n roll dentist. He sent me the promo in the mail… with no note. Because, of course, none was needed. Who else but the MFTA would appreciate this to its fullest.

Speaking of fullest, how ’bout them lips. Yowza! When they talk Vermillion Dollars, they aren’t joking around. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love the name of this technique. It’s like a bad SNL skit.

For those who are interested in more details – or would like to get themselves a set of these babies – here is more information about lip and perioral augmentation.

Every once in awhile I like to post about plastic surgery. It intrigues me the lengths that people will go in the name of ‘perfection’. There is the botox route, and of course vaginal cosmetic surgery (yeh, that’s not freaky). Then there is the cosmetic surgery center that thinks insulting their potential market is a good marketing technique. (more on this group later this week). The more festive like to make it into a social event.

Don’t get me wrong, contrary to what many believe, I am not anti plastic surgery. There are many instances where a little nip and tuck can really help someone who has a drastic body flaw that makes them uncomfortable. The origination of plastic surgery was just that. Helping people feel better about themselves. But some of this stuff is pretty damn scary if you ask me. There is an epidemic of obsessive addiction to strive for the unattainable.

And let’s face it, are these the words you want uttered as you leave the room:

‘Jeez, did she ever have work done!’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, health, plastic surgery

Traveling Shoes


Believe it or not, there was a woman on line in front of me at airport security that was wearing these shoes. Imagine what the rest of her outfit looked like. Whatever it is that you are imagining, go one step further.

I am always amazed that anyone would want to travel in anything this uncomfortable. I love her toenail color and the hint of the tattoo on her right angle.

Jana and I loved this woman. We really got a kick out of the way the security screener spent and extra long time looking back and forth between this woman and her photo ID. Her face was a botox playground and I would bet her photo ID was taken before the surgical enhancement.

Don’t you wonder what who was waiting for her on the other end of her flight?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, fashion, travel

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 5)

It is that time again. The monthly list of wild and crazy search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here and Vol. 3 here and Vol. 4 here.

 As always, I link the term to the post I think it yielded. And of course there is running commentary because quite frankly we all know I can’t keep quiet, EVER!

You can click on the terms and they will lead you to the posts that I think were found. For you email subscribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. i love math thong obviously a confused individual. if you are doing math in the presence of a thong you have missed the whole point
9. family girl fights ah, the infamous girl fights. searches never seem to tire of the idea of a couple of babes duke it out. 
8. i dont have niplles oh my, that is quite unfortunate for you.
7. lost ring in car what to do you bring the car to the dealership and get hosed for $236 friggin dollars to get it out. caution: spouse will be highly agitated by this. it’s the car thing.
6. taking a tampon out, ouch! ok, a quick lesson on tampons, if it hurts to take it out you probably did not need to put it in to begin with.
5. olsen twins nail polish i love that this one came up. this was one of my first posts and a real fave. if you click on nothing else you should not miss this one.
4. birthing chihuahua, chihuahua birth chart i am flabbergasted at the amount of people searching for the birth of a chihuahua. And even more impressed that they spell it correctly.
3. what can i eat after botox Ok, this one killed me. Listen, if you already thinking about eating right after botox chances are you will not receive the full benefits of any kinds of plastic surgery. How about changing your habits?
2. doctor oddities I worry about doctors with oddities and why anyone would continue to see them
1. don’t have time for this No time for this? Perhaps crying. Well just in case I linked this to the last Time to Cry Tuesday because it is a personal fave. Just a tip out there, if you use the phrase, “don’t have time for this” you are probably the type of person who most needs to make the time. Whatever ‘this’ may be.

Happy New Year’s to one and all. Have fun. Stay safe. And try, for at least tonight, to let it all go and just have some plain old fun.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches, Uncategorized

Top Ten Search Terms (vol 1.)

It is great fun to check the stats section on WordPress and see what search terms have led people to this blog. Below you will find my top ten for the month. Each one has a link (or links) to the posts they must have found – and of course a little commentary.

I am thinking this will be a fun thing to do at the end of every month.

10. big sandwich: this could be one of two: F the Botox. Eat a Big Sandwich or Sandwich Generation, (hold the mayo)

9. what to do if mice are in the basement: Chairman of the Basement (but now that they mention it I am pretty sure there are mice living in the wall of my office)

8. what makes a car stink?: Remember the Stink in Seinfeld’s Car?

7. lab dies at groomers, July 2008: ooo, that sounds awful, my story is just funny. Dog in Street…

6. nail salon dead baby: (I am a bit concerned about why someone would keyword this, aren’t you?)The Grim Reaper at the Nail Salon

5. used her thong to save her life: no, no you silly searcher, that was the bra that saved her:Bras Save Lives (or mammary survival techniques) the thong caused injury worthy of a lawsuit: Thong Danger

4. tampon daughter: Bowling for Tampons (with or without your daughter this is fun) or more likely Do Not Flush Tampons… EVER

3. lazy jew parents send kids to camp: ouch! I will try to let that one slide in the name of being a readership whore. Sleepaway. 10 for 2.

2. i could cry but i don’t want to: I am thinking this person has missed the whole point and probably does not get my sense of humor.

and my number one fave – as I have asked this question many times…

1. am i menopausal or insane: Rebranding Menopause.

Thanks for playing folks and tune back in at the end of next month for more crazy search antics.

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Filed under humor, search engine terms, searches

Does Fluffy REALLY Need a Facelift?

Actually, it was liposuction that was cited in another of a series of outrageous ‘health-related’ articles this weekend, but as my friend Barb pointed out, the alliteration worked better in the title. And of course I LOVE alliterations.

Once again, the Sunday NYT did not disappoint for blog material. 

Cover of the mag section… Animal Pharm. Here is the article “Pill Popping Pets” (of course I like my title better)

Some staggering statistiscs:

• Americans forked over $49 billion for pet products and services last year, up $11.5 billion from 2003

• other than consumer electronics, pet products are the fastest-growing retail segment. (remind me again why I am not tapping into this market?)

• A third of the total spending, and the fastest-growing category, is health care, with treatments formerly reserved for people — root canals, chemotherapy, and you guessed it, liposuction AND mood pills — being administered to pets. (I have been doing work in the healthcare market for years, again, why am I not tapping into this?)

Now, I am not one to judge pet health care spending. After all, when my dog (the greatest animal ever born) was under 3 she had not one, but two knee surgeries. (Hey, what was I supposed to do when she blew them out, get her a little cart?) And I do love her to death but quite frankly her fat ass will not be getting any liposuction if mine isn’t. 

Perhaps I should say, “F the lipo, eat a big bowl of kibble”.

The administering of anti-depressants to dogs is also more than I can handle. How about this quote:

For lonely dogs with separation anxiety, Eli Lilly brought to market its own drug Reconcile last year. The only difference between it and Prozac is that Reconcile is chewable and tastes like beef.

OMG, can you imagine the mix up with a family member? “Honey, I took my meds this morning and the strangest thing happened, I have been craving a burger all day”.

My last word on this:


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Filed under humor, pets

F the Botox. Eat a big sandwich.

One interesting evening with the First Thursdays I was asked what I had been using on my eyes. ‘Huh?’, I asked (profoundly, I might add. I can be that way). “Um, what do you mean on my eyes?”. To clarify, they wanted to know what I was using on my eyes because they were not that wrinkled.

Here’s the thing. I do happen to have wonderful genes. Both grandmothers had amazing skin. So I am blessed. That aside, I subscribe to the theory that as Catherine Deneuve once said (and I paraphrase) 10 lbs on your ass does wonders for your face at a certain age.

Or in my words, “F the Botox. Eat a big sandwich”. 

Let’s face it my friends, being extremely thin after, let’s say fortyblahblahblah, gives ones face a gaunt look. The little bit of extra weight is like natural Botox if you will. It fills you out, and stretches those wrinkles away.

Hey, I am all for anything that makes you feel better about yourself. And I am not going to preach about not having plastic surgery, because if that rings your bell and makes you feel good, go for it.

But what scares me is the obsessive race for perfection. Two consecutive weeks the NYT ran articles as absurd as the Emporer’s new nail polish.  

First one from June 23rd was in the Suburban Trends section, called Promoting Plastic Surgery Party Style (oy). Here is a quote if I ever read one:

“The event attracted about 200 people, mostly women, paying $20 apiece; it cost about $12,000. Dr. Greenberg described it as “like a bar mitzvah.” It had an open bar, a disc jockey and performers on stilts during cocktail hour. The dinner buffet included carving, pasta and dim sum stations.

Hey ladies, lay off the friggin dim sum and pasta and you can avoid the lipo altogether! And of course the Bar Mitzvah comment was heartwarming. Now performers on stilts are considered commonplace when celebrating your child reading from the Torah?!

July 3rd Sunday Times Style section had this article about – no this can’t be true– and a woman doc no less… vaginal cosmetic surgery! Just when we were starting to worry about our crow’s feet and sagging whatevers, some lunatic has now come along to tell us that we need to consider a little nip and tuck in, as my husband fondly says, the hey–nanny-nanny. This must fall under the category of WAY too much time and money on your hands. Here is the most hysterical post from blogher on that article.

The race to beat aging is a losing battle. I’m not saying let yourself go, but hey a nice big sandwich once in awhile can’t be a bad thing. Sure beats shooting poison into your face!


Filed under fashion, humor, trends, women