Tag Archives: tampons

Cotton Sperm

As I was going to walk the dogs this morning i spotted this on the garage floor. I could not help but think, ‘hey, there is a cotton sperm’. This could be because I have spent the last few weeks working on a fertility project for work. Or I am just predisposed to seeing sperm in things…

Gary argues at first glance this is either a dead mouse or a tampon. So, since it has been a while, I thought it was time for a friendly poll. Please weigh in.

And remember to pay attention to the details of you your day. The ones that you would normally pass by make for interesting conversation (or grounds to have you committed at a later date).

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, polls

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 11)

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I know, it’s been awhile since I have done one of these. This one is for Kate, who told me last night these are her faves. Here’s the drill for you new comers to the house of I Could Cry. These are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. hannukah pap smear I am still mildly outraged by this (while being slightly amused at the absurdity). And I suppose many others are as well, since it is the number one search term this past week.

2. girl fights were boobs pop out Ah, the ever famous girl fight post, and of course its followup, Vol. 2. Yeh, this one is a big hit. And of course the top search term that lands them here always has a boob popping out. Yes friends, not only to the guys want to see a girl fight, they are always hoping for a boob to pop out. Simple physics, I suppose.

3. tampon games Again, tampon search terms are popular here. I write about them quite a bit. I linked to tampon bowling this time because besides tampon crafts, this is my favorite.

4. slippers made maxi pads What better follow-up to tampon crafts than the ever famous maxi pad slippers. Seriously folks, there is really no need to go past the corner drug store for your holiday shopping this year.

5. castrated I had to think about this one for a minute until I remembered the mannequins that I caught with their pants down at the mall.

6. dick in the box No, I am sorry, that would be a Big Box of Shut the Hell Up!

7. big penis posting pictures Ah. National Penis Day – how will you celebrate it? Yes, finally the penis has the day it was due.

8. sports, men, cheez-its crackers Think about that, this statement is almost a complete sentence.

9. how to make my pennis mussels strong Wow, you better have a strong ‘pennis’ if those are your spelling skills, pal.

10. humor and leashes I am thinking the kid in this post does not find this all that funny.

And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the show. Now go eat some turkey and be nice to your family.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, search engine terms

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 6)

It is that time of the month again, no worries, I am not talking PMS. This is the monthly installment of the  list of wild and crazy search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here , Vol. 3 here , Vol. 4 here and you guessed it Vol. 5 here.

 As always, I link the search term to the post I believe landed the reader here. 

Feel free to click on the links. Don’t worry, we will wait while you read the past posts.

10. does hamster cry This was one of my favorite posts. To refresh your memory, or whet your appetite, this post featured a hamster playing the piano. And the famous comment from my daughter reminding me how we froze the dead hamster in a box in the garage freezer until the spring thaw. (true AND yes, scary)

9. dog shakes smoke alarm No the dog did not shake the smoke alarm. The sound of the alarm made HER shake.

8. ny sleepaway camp for abused children G-d no! This poor reader is either misguided or was rather disappointed when they found my blog.

7. hungry tampons Um, ew! This could have been many posts as I have written about tampons a whole lot. Probably something I should take a look at.

6. men wearing tampons See what I mean. Every month I have dozens of search terms about tampons. But this one definitely landed on the Obama wearing tampons post.

5. fat old men in bathing suit This was a favorite Gary post. And in the dead of winter after yet another dumping of snow I don’t mind looking back on that beautiful beach day in August.

4. joys of pantyhose Oh, ladies, don’t we all know the joys of pantyhose. You guys should really be jealous. I love linking to this as it was my first post EVAH! And looking back on it, this could have been one of the funniest.

3. cucumber girls Oh girls, you will LOVE this cucumber!

2. moms orgasm Yeh, well, probably should think about why someone would put those two words together and sit down for a little search.

1. palin condom This one just never gets old for me!

That does it folks. Another month of reminiscing!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under search engine terms, searches

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 5)

It is that time again. The monthly list of wild and crazy search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here and Vol. 3 here and Vol. 4 here.

 As always, I link the term to the post I think it yielded. And of course there is running commentary because quite frankly we all know I can’t keep quiet, EVER!

You can click on the terms and they will lead you to the posts that I think were found. For you email subscribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. i love math thong obviously a confused individual. if you are doing math in the presence of a thong you have missed the whole point
9. family girl fights ah, the infamous girl fights. searches never seem to tire of the idea of a couple of babes duke it out. 
8. i dont have niplles oh my, that is quite unfortunate for you.
7. lost ring in car what to do you bring the car to the dealership and get hosed for $236 friggin dollars to get it out. caution: spouse will be highly agitated by this. it’s the car thing.
6. taking a tampon out, ouch! ok, a quick lesson on tampons, if it hurts to take it out you probably did not need to put it in to begin with.
5. olsen twins nail polish i love that this one came up. this was one of my first posts and a real fave. if you click on nothing else you should not miss this one.
4. birthing chihuahua, chihuahua birth chart i am flabbergasted at the amount of people searching for the birth of a chihuahua. And even more impressed that they spell it correctly.
3. what can i eat after botox Ok, this one killed me. Listen, if you already thinking about eating right after botox chances are you will not receive the full benefits of any kinds of plastic surgery. How about changing your habits?
2. doctor oddities I worry about doctors with oddities and why anyone would continue to see them
1. don’t have time for this No time for this? Perhaps crying. Well just in case I linked this to the last Time to Cry Tuesday because it is a personal fave. Just a tip out there, if you use the phrase, “don’t have time for this” you are probably the type of person who most needs to make the time. Whatever ‘this’ may be.

Happy New Year’s to one and all. Have fun. Stay safe. And try, for at least tonight, to let it all go and just have some plain old fun.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches, Uncategorized

First there were tampon crafts…

snaitary-slippers

Who knew feminine hygiene products could be so crafty. For those who missed the tampon crafts post, please take a visit

It appears I am not the only one who loved these. I received an email this week (thanks Paula) with yet another creative project idea. 

The person who sent this out prefaced it with stating that Christmas was tight this year so she decided to make her gifts. Each person on her list will receive these hand made slippers. For us Jews, I suggest replacing the little ornaments with some dreidels.

Here goes (with a little commentary where I see fit):

How to Make Bedroom Slippers

You need 4 maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire.

These slippers are:

soft and hygienic (remember, these should be unused maxi pads)

have non-slip grip strips on the soles (glue strips for guys who don’t know)

built in deodorant keeps feet fresh (ew, I always hated scented)

no more bending over to mop up spills (nice feature)

disposable and biodegradable (the bio part might be a stretch)

environmentally safe (again, not sure about that).

Not bad, right? Don’t worry kids, mommy will not make you where maxi-pad slippers, as long as you make me a tampon menorah you are in the clear.

Wait, did one of you make me one of these in hebrew school years ago.

Note to self: talk to Rabbi about this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, crafts, humor, trends

Halloween (vol. 2) Tampon Crafts

I was first turned on to this wonderful craft site by a fellow SVMom blogger, White Trash Mom. Her blog is hysterical, I recommend stopping by and checking her out. She has a post with a kick-ass tampon bat on it that I am tempted to craft myself. Although this little ghost here is much easier to make and it has moving eyes. (Ronni and Jeanne you will love it for that reason alone). We were always doing crafts when my kids were little, I wonder if I would have done this with them. 

Yeh, probably. Nothing like having a neighbor ask you where you got those cute little ghosts in the trees. The ones that are so absorbent when it rains.

For those who have been insane enough to follow me from the beginning, I have an affinity for all things tampon. I have written about a crazy tampon site with a bowling for tampons game, a don’t flush the tampons sign in my daughters bunk at camp and even a search term that lead a reader to my blog: obama covered in tampons. Of course the big joke is I have no need for these suckers anymore as I am sans uterus (yes, TMI for sure). Maybe I am just a little nostalgic about it all.

Nah, they are just friggin funny and I am all for a cheap sophomoric laugh whenever possible.

When I was in college we loved to decorate Christmas trees with outrageous handmade ornaments. Candy-pons and mousetraps were a big hit. Hmmm… Doreen, did you start this tampon craft site? I wish I had. Check out the other options. The turkey is fantastic, LOVE the menorah and the toupee? This is laugh-so-hard-I-had-chest-pains kind of funny. Just one item had me a little concerned. What kind of mind would think to make a tampon shooter? Very creative but a little scary.

Yes, I know I was a little link happy in this post, but they all help to give you the big picture, so live with it. 

Have I mentioned how much I love Halloween?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms show up here as well.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under crafts, holidays, humor

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 3)

Before I get into the search terms I want to let you know that the Jana shoelace poll has consistently shown that yellow is in the lead. We are at 59% to 41% to date. Voting is still open if you want to have your voice heard in this very important election.

Welcome to the third monthly installment of Top Ten Search Terms. For those who missed the last two you can read Vol. 1 here and Vol 2. here. As before, I have compiled a list of my 10 favorite (actual) search terms that viewers have entered to arrive at this blog. Some make sense, others quite frankly scare me. What makes people keyword such offbeat phrases? You can click on the terms and they will lead you to the posts that I think were found. For you email subsribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. jews in jeeps yeh, we jews LOVE to drive jeeps.

9. dog crying for dead dog on street  oh my, this is way too sad. i am thinking that most dogs have the time to cry. think about it, what the heck does your dog do all day anyway?

8. fibroids spanx hmm… how did this person know that I had fibroids (wait, this might have been in my menopause post). to tell the truth they have had nothing to do with my need to wear spanx.

7. obama ad exploding dog c’mon! did any of you see this ad. why would anyone (candidate or otherwise) want to blow up a dog?

6. ive been slimed lab is this like sperm donors and pharma research programs where they pay you to come in for the afternoon and get slimed in a lab. even for the sake of research I am not sure if I would want to voluntarily be slimed.

5. people sandwich one comment only here: Soylent Green is people! (Jana, pass this one on to the campies)

4. second hand thong umm… EW! nuff said here.

3. man-boy slaves  oy, that is way concerning. so much for transparency in my blog. now i have to worry about some perverts looking for my kid.

2. thong long hair big boobs yeh, well duh. that is what every friggin’ human with a penis is searching for 24 hours a day on the internet. I guess this blog was a disappointing find for this group. maybe they should have searched ‘thong, longish hair, 49-year-old boobs wise ass with a big mouth.

1. photos of men wearing tampons wait, there are actually many photos of men wearing tampons out there? ew, wait again. where are they wearing them? 

I hope you enjoyed this months list. Makes you want to keep reading, doesn’t it?

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