Tag Archives: girl fight

Everybody Loves a Girl Fight Vol. 3

For those who have not been reading all along, I became educated on the sociological fascination that men have with girl fights when my son was the tender age of 15. You can read the full story hear on the Vol 1 post, but the gist of the story is that although I thought my husband was being both a bad father and a neanderthal when he agreed with my son that everyone did, in fact love a girl fight, the notion was actually confirmed by almost every man we asked.

The Vol 2 post was yet another dinner chat where my brother in law chimed in that the best part was when their boobs popped out (which by the way has become one of the top search terms for this blog… G-d help me!)

Fast forward to yesterday when Jana and I were riding the subway downtown. Two young women got on the train at the same time. One sat down in front of me and the other stood by the doors behind me. The car was unusually quiet when this exchange began:

Seated girl: What are you looking at?

Standing girl: No what are YOU looking at?

Seated girl: Yeh, I know I am good looking you don’t have to stare.

Standing girl: No, YOU don’t have to stare (standing girl was not very creative)

This sort of hostile banter continued for a few minutes culminating in a ‘you/no you’ exchange until the entire car began to share in an anticipatory sense of awkwardness that left us all simultaneously uneasy and yet a little titilated. I am not going to lie, there was a part of me that was starting to think, “Damn, everyone loves a girl fight.” That is when I realized I have been living with Gary too long.

And I also realized that if there was going to be a girl fight I was directly in the line of fire and there was a good chance I could have had my picture on the cover of the NY Post the next day. “50-something mom gets knocked unconscious in subway girl fight” Subtitle: Everyone loves a girl fight except this mom.

But honestly, I sort of got the vibe that the whole train was thinking the same thing.

Of course Jana saw right through it and suggested that they were friends who were just trying to get a rise out of the crowd. As we got off at Broadway/Lafayette, so did they… together. And laughing all the way down the platform.


Filed under absurdities, conversations, Jana, relationships

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 11)


I know, it’s been awhile since I have done one of these. This one is for Kate, who told me last night these are her faves. Here’s the drill for you new comers to the house of I Could Cry. These are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. hannukah pap smear I am still mildly outraged by this (while being slightly amused at the absurdity). And I suppose many others are as well, since it is the number one search term this past week.

2. girl fights were boobs pop out Ah, the ever famous girl fight post, and of course its followup, Vol. 2. Yeh, this one is a big hit. And of course the top search term that lands them here always has a boob popping out. Yes friends, not only to the guys want to see a girl fight, they are always hoping for a boob to pop out. Simple physics, I suppose.

3. tampon games Again, tampon search terms are popular here. I write about them quite a bit. I linked to tampon bowling this time because besides tampon crafts, this is my favorite.

4. slippers made maxi pads What better follow-up to tampon crafts than the ever famous maxi pad slippers. Seriously folks, there is really no need to go past the corner drug store for your holiday shopping this year.

5. castrated I had to think about this one for a minute until I remembered the mannequins that I caught with their pants down at the mall.

6. dick in the box No, I am sorry, that would be a Big Box of Shut the Hell Up!

7. big penis posting pictures Ah. National Penis Day – how will you celebrate it? Yes, finally the penis has the day it was due.

8. sports, men, cheez-its crackers Think about that, this statement is almost a complete sentence.

9. how to make my pennis mussels strong Wow, you better have a strong ‘pennis’ if those are your spelling skills, pal.

10. humor and leashes I am thinking the kid in this post does not find this all that funny.

And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the show. Now go eat some turkey and be nice to your family.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, search engine terms

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 8)

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities. 

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

don’t worry, i have toast Thank goodness, I thought we were all going to go hungry.

marry an asshole This is some pretty bad advise.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my! 

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back. 

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches


This is a little word I coined in a MMCM post a few weeks ago. I used it in the context of teens having 5 kids over. Those who are there become ‘fruitful and textify’ and before they know it there are 30 kids… you get the picture.

This weekend I have come up with an alternate definition: When your kid goes to a big 10 school you can watch the game on national TV and textify them.

Here is a priceless text from Jana in the bleachers at tonight’s Wisconsin massacre game against Penn State.

Jana: girl fight in the student section a few rows down. alexa said nothings better than a girl fight.

I always loved that Alexa, a reader who is quoting! Such flattery!

Unrelated to textifying but related to the game, below is an actual note from Jana during college app days. Here is a link to the entire post. I thought the Penn State reference was ironic here.

Oh, one last thing. Voting is still open for the Aretha or Tina poll with Aretha in a strong lead Although thet the voting is thin, Lon posted an excellent comment. Let’s have some serious participation here please!

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Filed under family, humor, Jana, Mid-Century Modern Moms, travel

EVERYONE loves a girl fight (vol. 2)

For those who have not read EVERYONE loves a girl fight (vol. 1) you can read it here.

I am sure there were similar conversations at Yom Kippur Break Fast tables throughout the Jewish community nationwide this evening. Wait, probably not. Our family is… well let me put it this way, you are never quite sure what will be said at our table.

Brother-in law 1: HS was much rougher when we went. There were fights and greasers.

Danny: Well, there are some fights but when it is guys it gets broken up pretty fast in fear of someone really getting hurt badly. 

Me: Ok, I see what you are driving at…

Gary: Yeh, EVERYONE loves a girl fight.

Danny: Oh, I forgot to tell you! I missed a girl fight the other day but when we passed by where it happened there was hair on the sidewalk!

Me: Oh, jeez, here we go again. (note to self: de-program son from neanderthal behavior)

Brother-in-law 1: Of course everyone loves a girl fight. The best part is when their boobs pop out.

Me: I give up! But this will make a great blog post!

Brother-in-law 2: Oh, and don’t forget how we hope they kiss and make up at the end. 

Me: what could be better for a guy, a girl fight and then girl on girl!

And this my friends, is why you can never really tell what will be said at a family gathering.

To all my menopausal readers, do me a favor please visit my BBFF at Flashfree and take her menopause poll

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Filed under absurdities, family, humor, parenting