Tag Archives: search terms

A bouquet of what?!

Could not resist posting this. Here are today’s top search terms to find this blog:

That’s right kids, not one listing, but two for bouquet of penis! Not sure how they got here but if you are the people who keyed that in might I direct you to this lovely option for a penis lollipop bouquet (in pretty colors, I might add).

Wendy had the best comment when I sent her this today:

“My favorite is Bouquet of Penis. Wondering if it’s an air freshener or a decorative item…”

She has a point there. Perhaps a poll is in order. I am a little poll happy this week.

A bit concerning were the searches for kid penis and women with penises. Seriously, think about what people are looking for out there and it will send a chill up your spine.

I am thinking I may need to take myself off the mom bloggers lists.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
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Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 9)

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OK kids, here we are again, my favorite post of the month. Welcome to the 9th installment of the top ten search terms. There are some great ones this month. Enjoy!

menopause irrational behavior Go figure, who would ever suspect someone in menopause of displaying irrational behavior.

menstraution tampon yes, this was misspelled. and what else, might I ask, would one use a tampon for?

snorting smarties negative effects do you think there are any positive effects? another one in this category would be: smarties naked. are smarties ever dressed?

sorry but i don’t have time for this doesn’t it make you wonder why someone who is so busy would waste their time keywording something like this into a search engine?

satan calling and how to call satan these two are a little scary. ‘who’s calling?’ Satan’ ‘Hold, on. Honey it’s for you’. I am more than a little concerned about people who are keywording the phoning of Satan.

ricky martin lunchbox was someone really looking to buy one of these? too bad I found it on the sale rack.

jesus in cheese its wait, are they now putting Jesus in every pack of Cheez its now?

meaning of live to the point of tears if this has to be explained to you then the chance of you actually experiencing it is unlikely

first:”amy” last:”zimmerman” state:”oh” why are people looking for me in Ohio

fart email subscription WOW, this one is the best ever. can you actually subscribe to farts by email?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 8)

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities. 

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

don’t worry, i have toast Thank goodness, I thought we were all going to go hungry.

marry an asshole This is some pretty bad advise.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my! 

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back. 

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 7)

This monthly post has become a favorite. I apologize for the delay in getting to this installment. I guess I was all caught up with Butt Paste and Mirdles and forgot to post this one. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here , Vol. 3 here , Vol. 4 here  Vol. 5 here, and finally Vol. 6 here.

6 month old with hairy back That is concerning. did you wax that baby?

luck flushing crickets If i knew it was lucky i might have gone for it!

white trash barbie for sale Did they make a white trash barbie? If they did I think I really need one of those!

www.colonmedic.com/cancel Oh my, can you cancel the colonmedic in the middle? 

cougar pole dance THIS  I would like video of.

psychological issues for women who carry Women who carry what?

funny pics of fat guys in bathing suite Um, I believe that would be SUIT

my moms ass looks so good That is so not OK.

miss nipples Wait, did someone else speak to this woman besides my dad?

janie knight I knew she existed! Why else would someone be searching for her? Gary is so dead!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 6)

It is that time of the month again, no worries, I am not talking PMS. This is the monthly installment of the  list of wild and crazy search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here , Vol. 3 here , Vol. 4 here and you guessed it Vol. 5 here.

 As always, I link the search term to the post I believe landed the reader here. 

Feel free to click on the links. Don’t worry, we will wait while you read the past posts.

10. does hamster cry This was one of my favorite posts. To refresh your memory, or whet your appetite, this post featured a hamster playing the piano. And the famous comment from my daughter reminding me how we froze the dead hamster in a box in the garage freezer until the spring thaw. (true AND yes, scary)

9. dog shakes smoke alarm No the dog did not shake the smoke alarm. The sound of the alarm made HER shake.

8. ny sleepaway camp for abused children G-d no! This poor reader is either misguided or was rather disappointed when they found my blog.

7. hungry tampons Um, ew! This could have been many posts as I have written about tampons a whole lot. Probably something I should take a look at.

6. men wearing tampons See what I mean. Every month I have dozens of search terms about tampons. But this one definitely landed on the Obama wearing tampons post.

5. fat old men in bathing suit This was a favorite Gary post. And in the dead of winter after yet another dumping of snow I don’t mind looking back on that beautiful beach day in August.

4. joys of pantyhose Oh, ladies, don’t we all know the joys of pantyhose. You guys should really be jealous. I love linking to this as it was my first post EVAH! And looking back on it, this could have been one of the funniest.

3. cucumber girls Oh girls, you will LOVE this cucumber!

2. moms orgasm Yeh, well, probably should think about why someone would put those two words together and sit down for a little search.

1. palin condom This one just never gets old for me!

That does it folks. Another month of reminiscing!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 4)

Welcome to the fourth monthly installment of Top Ten Search Terms. For those who missed the last three, you can read Vol. 1 here and Vol 2. here and Vol 3. here. As before, I have compiled a list of my 10 favorite (actual) search terms that viewers have entered to arrive at this blog. Every month I get a few more little goodies that take me by surprise or just plain crack me up. Scary what people will key in when searching. Scarier that they find me. Each entry is linked to the post I assume they arrived at when using these keywords.

For email subsribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. son lives in basement not work what to d (i hate when these get cut off. what was that last word? do?)

9. separated at birth photos, pets (is that so unusual, pets being separated at birth?)

8. fat guys in bathing suits (nothing like a fat guy in a bathing suit, they always make the husband look thinner)

7. i could cry for days (ok, this person has missed the whole point, and unless they landed on a Tuesday post they would be highly disappointed. or maybe not. maybe this person needs a good laugh.)

6. www.old hairy women.com (believe it or not, this is a real site so I am not sure why they landed here. you can visit it if you like but it starts with “Warning, adult content. Must be 18 years or old to access this site. And how, might I ask, do they proof you before you enter? I passed, thanks)

5. boobss pop out while fight (with two s’s? yeh, well what’s a girl fight without boobs(s) popping out. I would assume that is part of the lure)

4. how to poison someone (this one is concerning and I am happy to say I do not have any idea how this landed here so there is no link. To my knowledge (officer) I have not written any posts that illustrate how to poison my husband anyone)

3. i dont have a condom (ok, bud, then it looks like you are screwed. or not. either way it seems you are having a bad night)

2. moose intestine condoms (ew. Ew! EEEEWWWW!)

1. how about a big box of shut the hell up (this one? this one had me laughing for hours. in fact I cannot wait to use this the next time someone bugs me. how much fun would it be to say this to someone. I am still laughing. wait, is this not that funny and only I see the humor in it?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top 10 Search Terms (vol.4)

It is that time again. The monthly list of ridiculous search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the last two you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here and Vol. 3 here. As always, I link the term to the post I think it yielded. And of course there is running commentary. Did you honestly expect me to shut up? 

You can click on the terms and they will lead you to the posts that I think were found. For you email subscribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. ghandi action figure An all time favorite, the Albert Einstien Action figure post. I must go look for this guy and start posing him in odd places. 

9. vilma flinstone This must be the german version. 

8. how to post a vegas video on facebook Perhaps you want to think this through a little more.

7. what time can we eat on yom kippur, 2008 Jews! All we ever think about is food!

6. you tube mary black sonny don’t go away There is another post that this might have landed on, but the one linked here is my very first post EVER and I am kind of sentimental about it. Also, for those who have not read me all along, it is quite entertaining and gives you a clear picture of how insane I really am. (note to self: is this wise?)

5. don’t cry past tuesday I try to stick with this idea. Tuesday, cry all you want but come Wednesday suck it up and move on kids. I had a hard time picking my fave here but decided that this one works the best with all the uneasiness we are feeling pre-election and post-wall street apocalypse.

4. cool hand dryers Is this the Paul Newman version?

3. jeans big ass Hoping this was not anyone walking behind me.

2. black gay men with beautiful naked asses Not a clue here but I will take this opportunity to urge all my California friends to VOTE NO ON PROP 8! Give me a break CA, WTF? Reverse evolution?

1. i am a woman with a hairy back I am quite grateful that I am not.

And there you have it. Another month of absurdities brought to you by i could cry but i don’t have time. We hope you enjoyed the show. Please tune in tomorrow for election anxiety updates and a special guest post surprise!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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