Tag Archives: tongue

Those Crazy Sconnies

Having two kids in Wisconsin I am always on the lookout for interesting Wisco news. I was scrolling through twitter tonight looking for blog fodder and @tsand did not disappoint. I can always count on him to point out the more outrageous things going on in the world. Certainly in Wisconsin!

It seems a 57-year-old woman bit her 79-year-old husband’s tongue off during a kiss, then went outside to sing Christmas carols and blow a New Year’s horn. Fa-la-ooo-la-la! This babe is one wacky Sconnie!

She is being charged with felony mayhem. Felony Mayhem?! WTF, I love that charge. I want to know what other sort of thing falls into that category. Ok, so I could not resist a little googling around for the definition. Here is my favorite definition from The Free Dictionary:

Noun 1. mayhem – the willful and unlawful infliction of injury upon a person, esp (formerly) the injuring or removing of a limb rendering him less capable of defending himself against attack. Crippling, disfigurement, or mutilation of another.

Certainly incapable of defending himself in an argument at this point. Poor guy.

The victim said his wife had been acting strangely in recent days.

Ya think!!

I am still wondering how he could tell them that without his tongue.

Just another Bobbit-esque crime of passion, I suppose. Only milder. Lest we not forget this other famous Sconnie story where the scorned wife Crazy Glued her hubby’s member to his stomach. Do you think she was acting strange the few days before that?

Can’t make this stuff up.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, magnet for the absurd, wisconsin

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 8)

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities. 

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

don’t worry, i have toast Thank goodness, I thought we were all going to go hungry.

marry an asshole This is some pretty bad advise.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my! 

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back. 

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches