Category Archives: magnet for the absurd

December 7, 2017 · 10:20 pm

What’s the fascination with urinals?

Hi, It’s me. I guess I am back. I know, it’s been awhile. And how odd that I should return with a post about urinals. I just need a little comic relief. Consider this a gift.

Last work week was a big thrill. A beloved client was featured in the NYT. Great piece with an odd ending, which apparently did not go unnoticed, as we had a Facebook follower ask:*

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We noticed this ourselves and a colleague asked me, “What is the fascination with urinals?”

Really? She had to ask? C’mooonnn!

Then, today in my Facebook feed came this piece about urinal advertising. You know, “The smart urinal that will show you ads while you pee.” (If you are asking why it was in my stream – no pun here – it’s a Magnet for the Absurd thing… just who I am)

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I know, of course it’s brilliant! Captive audience. Better than elevator advertising. And there have been countless urinal ad vehicles that have proven themselves through the years.

But THIS – this is my absolute fave – pee-controlled urinal games. Oh why did I not think of this one. Every mother that has ever potty trained a son to sink Cherrios in the toilet would know that this one is a winner! (wait, you all did this with your sons, right?) 

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I urge you to click through to the site and watch the video, it is hilarious. Think about this. It is great for business. Guys are going to drink more so they can play the game longer. Or multiple times. Winner gets a free drink. The opportunities are endless!

I have to say I am feeling a little more than left out about this.

Urinal envy?

Nah, I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.

______________

*Side note: Gallaghers happens to have spectacular urinals. I know this because I have taken countless women in there to look at them. Don’t ask. And please don’t judge. Yeh, I have a rather undefined job.

 

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August 5, 2014 · 2:06 pm

CSI Nursery School

csi

 

This!

I saw this in a parking lot last Sunday and it struck me as so funny. Is this where the little investigators go to train?  Instead of blocks and legos do they do fingerprint dusting and dna testing?

Oddly enough, CSI does not stand for Crime Scene Investigation, but rather Congregation Sons of Israel. Apparently no one thought about how ridiculous this might be when they abbreviated their synagogue name. But then to make a sticker for the nursery school (I thought the PC name for that is pre-school), and use a handprint, no less… no one? Not a soul thought about the humor?

Personally, I would have done a fingerprint as a logo instead of a handprint, but hey, not everyone is a graphic professional.

Having sat on a synagogue board in the past – where the discussion of roof tiles and catering chairs, traffic patterns and fundraising efforts are discussed for weeks on end… this?

Yep, I will crown this with the famous MFTA status.

(And yes, I think I might be back to blogging. There are simply too many wonderful things that amuse me lately not to share.)

mfta approved

 

 

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January 5, 2014 · 11:09 am

Number Two

number-two

This post is a little gift for my big bro, for he will love this the most.

A note to preface my infantile ramblings; I grew up in a house where we never tired of bathroom humor. Or bathroom discussion, for that matter. The planet Uranus always got a laugh and was constantly used out of context. There has been major discussion about the quality and frequency of voiding one’s bowels; including joy, empathy and shared enthusiasm over each swing of regularity. Frequency was of the utmost awe-inspiring of discussions. Yes, I am sure a shrink could have a picnic with us.

Come to think of it, my parents never really contributed much to this conversation, so I guess this is more a sibling thing. Although later in life I have to admit my mom did join the discussion often. As the kids grew up they embraced this odd family tradition. Marrying into this is not easy. Gary, well, of course he jumped right in. But my poor sister-in-law did not like this one bit. Poor thing, she was cursed with two sons that brought this to new heights. One of whom, I might add coined the term ‘doody baby’ when he had gone a particularly long time without going. We actually have a full vocabulary based on this topic.

Enter the newest member of the family, my new niece… she vows that she will put an end to this age old tradition. A very strong woman indeed, but no match for our love of bathroom humor. I predict she will be joining in soon enough.

Which brings me to the photo. This bathroom resides at the old Pfizer building in Brooklyn. Yes, all the stalls were numbered, it wasn’t as if this was the only one designated for making “#2”. But the fact that I serendipitously wound up with this stall simply had to be fate, no? Of course I had to take this picture… it was my obligation. I mean, I am the one who has brought you such posts as We are #1…, It’s Toilet Season, Toilet Paper Advertising Smackdown and my absolute favorite Can it Fit in a Toilet? 

You could say I am a professional bathroom blogger. Perhaps I should start a new blog dedicated to the topic. Hmmm… names? WhoGives a Sh*t? or maybe Give a Sh*t! is more positive. Or how about Here’s the Poop. Any other suggestions? Show me some love for coming back to blogging and give me some names in the comments.

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April 7, 2013 · 8:58 am

You CAN pick your friend’s nose

Corbis-nose picking1

Remember that stupid saying,”You can pick your friends; and you can pick your nose; but you can’t pick your friend’s nose”?

I never really got that. I mean, people do all sorts of weird stuff with orifices (or is that orifici?), I would imagine a little nose picking amongst friends might be going on out there with the non-germphobic crowd.

I digress, this post was spawned by an email from the stock photography site, Corbis. I have been a Corbis customer since the olden days of graphic design when they would send out these delicious print volumes of stock photo images and we would flip through the pages to choose the right image. And instead of emails, we would receive teaser postcards with images like these to get us to call and do a search. Yes, I am aware this is the Art Director’s equivalent of the ‘I used to walk to school 10 miles in the snow’ story that my dad used to tell us. All you youngun’s, you will have these stories about archaic, clunky handheld mobile devices instead of the chip behind their ear that your kids will have.

Ughh… digressing again. The point is, the other morning, on a particularly difficult day for me (stay tuned for more on that on Tuesday), the photo above showed up in my inbox. It had that Sleeper-esque feeling about it and just the visual made me laugh. Their 20% headline was excellent for their purpose, but this headline popped into my head:

You CAN pick your friend’s nose.

I know, I am brilliant. What a lovely promo for a plastic surgeon… maybe a 2 for 1 deal! It made me laugh on a morning that laughing was the last thing I thought I would do, so thanks Corbis. But, the best part was yet to come when I clicked over to their site (yes it worked, they got the click-through from me and put Corbis top of mind), I found this photo… the pay off.

The proverbial ‘picked nose’.

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Yeh it could be time to pitch a plastic surgery team. Anyone in? Other headline ideas?

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December 11, 2012 · 12:50 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – ER, ER, Ow!

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Did this translate. You know, like EI EI OH. Ok, sort of weak. Cut me some slack, that was ME in the ER for 21 friggin’ hours last week.

Ok, a blanket I am so very sorry to everyone I did not call and tell this personally to. Again, a little slack for the woman who spent all that time in the theatre of the absurd. You know, the one with the black and blue arms from the 2 IVs and 3 blood draws.

The short story is that my usually managed high blood pressure decided to fall off that wagon and wreak havoc with my system. I was addressing it outpatient with docs but around 8PM on Thursday I was deemed unfit for my own bed and sent off to the ER with chest pains and a blazing headache.

Yes, I thought I was perhaps stroking out or having a heart attack.

No, I did not.

Yes, I was scared to death but kept my cool. (poor choice of words) I do not admit that often (refer back to high blood pressure and lack of losing it).

Keep in mind I live 5 minutes from a premiere heart hospital. My doc is the head of cardiology there. I had all the confidence in the world that I would get the best of care.

Perhaps in an alternate universe.

You see I suffered the misfortune of not only showing up the first week the new ER opened, but 5 days after they instituted their brand new computer system. The place was a sea of purple scrubs… designated tech help. Every task came with it a learning curve that made each thing take 10x longer to complete. This clusterfuck of a night left me waiting in the ER waiting room for 4 HOURS! With another hour and half after I got in to see a doc.

Did I mention the migraine headache and chest pains?

Yeh, ridiculous. Think of this as the healthcare version of the Magnet for the Absurd.

Favorite lines of the evening:

ER Doc: Mrs. Levinson we take chest pain very seriously.

Me: Really? Does 4 hours in the waiting room and 1.5 hours before you got to my bed constitute serious? (Just a tip, in ER time I will be there in 10 minutes means 1 hour.)

Nurse: Sorry, we are delayed on your cardiac CT because we need to run a pregnancy test.

Me: Really? Does that fancy computer not get the correlation between a hysterectomy and the inability to be pregnant?

X-Ray Tech: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?

Me: Does nobody read the patient charts?

CT Tech: Ok, let’s see, no diabetes, no cancer, no depression, lost your uterus in a card game…

Me: Finally someone who reads the chart AND has a sense of humor. (He was the highlight of the experience)

It goes on an on. the CT staff telling me I must drink 8 glasses of water to clear the dye while the nurse instructs me no food or drink till the results are back. I get that. How about the massive headache that grew all day because…

that’s right, no food or drink till the results came back.

The entire experience was a comedy of errors. Right down to the hour and half it took after I was released for them to figure out how to get the computer to release me.

Visualize Gary with one of the tech people telling him he could not leave my nurse’s station until he saw a paper print out with my name on it.

The exact reasons I did not want to go to the ER were realized…

Times 10.

Anyone else want to share a good ER tale?

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June 4, 2012 · 12:02 pm

Upcycle That Kitty

via Pospsi.com, via Sky News

There are days when everything is funny. These are the days I live for. It could be the people that I know, the fact that they are also Magnets for The Absurd, or perhaps the universe has sympathy on us poor working slobs on a rainy Monday morning. But this. THIS. This one made me laugh so hard.

To the point of tears.

Which, btw, is the tagline for this blog.

So here goes. A big thank you to Wendy for posting this one.

It would seem that Bart Jansen’s poor kitty was killed by a car. So what did he do? Did he spend his days sobbing. Oh no, no, no. In the spirit of turning lemons into lemonade he turned his kitty into a kittycopter!

Um, yes, folks, good old Bart stuffed his deceased feline and converted Orville into a radio-controlled copter. When you think of it, why bury, cremate or toss a perfectly good dead cat when you can fly it around your yard for hours of entertainment? And then post it on YouTube so the whole world could enjoy your pet. I like to think of this as extending the pet value. This has the flavor of a good B. Kliban drawing. (please click that link and note the url for a little more kitty humor). 

Is this disrespectful to the pet or the ultimate tribute?

Can you imagine the conversation at the taxidermist’s shop? You want him in WHAT position? Might I ask why? Oh, a kittycopter… that’s a cool idea.  I would think that taxidermists are not all that easily shocked; they must have the most disturbing requests. Hmmm… maybe I should start a taxidermist blog and interview them all over the country. Sorry, I digress.

Of course there is video. When I clicked to watch there were only 301 hits. I predict this sucker breaks 100,000 in no time. I am sure I will be good for at least 50 myself. And if you are wondering, yes, I did watch the full 3:34 of this. The landing was the best part outside of his adjusting the little copter propellors.

Oriville the kitty? I heard his dog Wilbur has been crossing the street very carefully in fear of becoming the next victim of radio-controlled absurdity.

Happy Monday all. Hope you had a good laugh.

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April 10, 2012 · 6:17 pm

Land Shark on Mott

Just another sunny afternoon walking through Soho. Hey, even a land shark needs to shop once in awhile. And this one was trendy at that… a Calypso bag! Gotta love a shark with a big budget. I am sorry I did not catch the full twitter handle on his shirt.

I love NY indeed!

I consider it a gift of the universe when I walk out of a parking garage, rushing between meetings and I come across something like this. This happens to other people, right?

I am pretty sure I heard him muttering under his breath ‘Plumber, ma’am’, but I could be mistaken.

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September 22, 2011 · 12:27 am

Our Lady of Problems

A big thank you to Lon for this picture, and the post title. The best part about this sign is the Sunday sermon… America’s Joyous Future. Anyone who can give a sermon like that after a week of problems like those deserves a packed house.

Hmmm… I forgot to ask him if this was real or something he made on one of those custom sign generator sites.

 

 

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September 5, 2011 · 9:22 pm

Dog Wash

Ahhh… yet another submission to the Magnet For The Absurd. Thanks to Lon for sending in the fabulous picture.

I don’t know about you guys but I would take advantage of this often… my dog stinks! Seriously, she suffers from D.O. big time. Gary would simply love this as he is a frequent flyer at most car washes near his office.

I would love to see the inside of this place. 

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August 24, 2011 · 10:00 pm

The earthquake wasn’t the weirdest part of my day

Things have been a bit off-kilter lately. Not sure if it is because I have had this miserable cold, sinus, cough thing or maybe the stars are just aligning in a weird way. Yesterday was so damn crazy even I, the ever famous MFTA, was surprised.

In my post Madison, flying with bad sinuses, I can hardly hear anymore stupor, I sat at my desk yesterday and started banging away at my list as if it were any other day. Of course my phones have not been working correctly since Verizon went on strike. A coincidence? I think not. For a couple of weeks I would get static and crossed lines, only from 1-5 PM. Yesterday they were pretty much unusable. There was constant static, calls dropping, lines crossing… pretty much a train wreck. So I used my cell and called it a day after Verizon finally gave me a repair date this week as opposed to the September 16th date they gave me last week.

Around 11:30 my doorbell rang. I opened the door to a police man:

Him: (sort of looking behind me) Mrs. Levinson, are you ok?

Me: Well, I have a bit of a cold and cough, but otherwise, I’m good. Why?

Him: You dialed 911 and when we called back all we got was static.

Me: Nope, not me. My phones are not working, all I have is static. Wait, did you guys think I dialed 911 and then my lines were cut? Yikes. Sorry, it appears my phones are randomly dialing out themselves!

Just as I said that ANOTHER cop car pulled up. I am guessing these guys were not all that thrilled with what could have been going on here. (CSI-PW?)

I sent them on their merry way, thanking them for their attentiveness and went back to work. Around 2:00 I was sitting at my desk when my chair started to vibrate. Hmmmm… nice feature but I don’t remember installing it. Then all the stuff on the bulletin board started to swing. I ran upstairs and the keychain lanyard was swinging on the hook. When I called Gary and told him I felt an earthquake he told me I was crazy and it was probably a big truck.

Indeed. We’ll see who’s crazy!

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