Tag Archives: Surgery

You CAN pick your friend’s nose

Corbis-nose picking1

Remember that stupid saying,”You can pick your friends; and you can pick your nose; but you can’t pick your friend’s nose”?

I never really got that. I mean, people do all sorts of weird stuff with orifices (or is that orifici?), I would imagine a little nose picking amongst friends might be going on out there with the non-germphobic crowd.

I digress, this post was spawned by an email from the stock photography site, Corbis. I have been a Corbis customer since the olden days of graphic design when they would send out these delicious print volumes of stock photo images and we would flip through the pages to choose the right image. And instead of emails, we would receive teaser postcards with images like these to get us to call and do a search. Yes, I am aware this is the Art Director’s equivalent of the ‘I used to walk to school 10 miles in the snow’ story that my dad used to tell us. All you youngun’s, you will have these stories about archaic, clunky handheld mobile devices instead of the chip behind their ear that your kids will have.

Ughh… digressing again. The point is, the other morning, on a particularly difficult day for me (stay tuned for more on that on Tuesday), the photo above showed up in my inbox. It had that Sleeper-esque feeling about it and just the visual made me laugh. Their 20% headline was excellent for their purpose, but this headline popped into my head:

You CAN pick your friend’s nose.

I know, I am brilliant. What a lovely promo for a plastic surgeon… maybe a 2 for 1 deal! It made me laugh on a morning that laughing was the last thing I thought I would do, so thanks Corbis. But, the best part was yet to come when I clicked over to their site (yes it worked, they got the click-through from me and put Corbis top of mind), I found this photo… the pay off.

The proverbial ‘picked nose’.

corbis-nosepicking2

Yeh it could be time to pitch a plastic surgery team. Anyone in? Other headline ideas?

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Filed under absurdities, advertising, humor, magnet for the absurd, marketing, photography

Time to Cry Tuesday – Family

your-whole-family

Are they, now?

Would you define a 15 day black out, allergic reaction to antibiotic, a BP fiasco with a trip to the ER, a couple of sinus infections, the loss of a dear friend, a hip replacement, shoulder surgery and a sprained ankle all in the course of 3 months… ‘well’?

How could this not make me laugh out loud in the middle of all these calamities? And of course the english as second language fortune is always a source of entertainment.

But you know, the fortune is not really wrong. With all the tough times we have had over the past few months, there has been so much to remind us that our family, in fact, ‘are’ incredibly well.

After a particularly stressful few weeks our doorbell rang with a delivery of chocolate strawberries from… our kids! With a note telling us that we have always been there for them and they hope that they had been there for us when things got rough. And they certainly had been. In a big way.

Yeh, our family are well.

With two trips to Florida to help my parents through their rough times, I spent more time with my brother than I have in years. And even in the most stressful of times, through all the tough decisions and insane logistics, we kept our humor and enjoyed each other’s company. And I think it is safe to say that even though the circumstances sucked, neither one of us can deny how special it was to have that time together.

Yeh, our family are well.

With all their troubles, and they have had many over the last 10 years, my parents have both come through their latest surgeries with the kind of courage and fortitude that leaves me in awe of how tough they really are. They don’t complain, they work hard to get to where they need to be, and they never stop letting us know how loved and appreciated we are. It is truly an honor to be their daughter, and to be able to help them in their time of need.

Yeh, our family are well indeed.

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Filed under family, fortunes, Time to Cry Tuesdays

How much is that doggie in the window?

Let me preface this post with the fact that I have an 11 1/2 year old dog who I adore. That said, I also have 2 kids in college and money does not exactly grow on the trees in my yard (although we are pretty convinced it might on the trees of others in our zip code – note to self: buy one of those houses).

This week our dog, Mel, was diagnosed with diabetes. I am happy to report that after a rough few days and fear that I would be working the night shift at Dairy Barn to pay for her treatment, the financial hit was not that bad. We will manage because… well because she is our friggin’ dog, for G-d sake and it is hard to put a price on her head… ish.

Which brings me to a story about my dear friends in Rhode Island who called in a timely fashion as we were going through this with a story that is not to be believed. This is a bit long but worth following. And it has a major ‘ish’ to it.

Their dog had a tumor in her eye. She is also almost 12. No pain, happy as can be, just an eye tumor. Vet recommended removing the entire eye and the cost of surgery was $2,800 plus-plus (hospital stay, meds, etc). They opted out and the vet had an attitude. Fast forward a few months or so and the tumor had grown out of control. They went back to the vet who then wanted to charge $4,000. They hem and haw and realized that with all the unexpected expenses that month (wisdom teeth, new boiler, etc) they simply didn’t have the cash and $4,000 to do surgery on a 12 year old dog seemed crazy. She had a good long life and their hearts were broken but they decided they had to put the dog to sleep.

They say their goodbyes the night before. They bring her into the vet. They are sick. The receptionist tells them the vet wants to see them. They are then told that they have found someone who will adopt the dog and pay for the surgery but they have to sign the dog over to them.

WTF! They are freaking! “Sure”, he says, “they have now embarrassed me that I will not save the dog, then they knock her  out and she wakes up without an eye and has to live in some alternate reality where they start calling her Daisy and want to be her family. Now how the hell can I do that?! This is a tiny town in RI. I can see it now, I am going to pull up in a parking lot a few months from now and there will be my freakin’ dog sitting in someone else’s car. She will see me and give me the ‘where the hell have YOU been’ look and ask me why everyone is calling her Daisy.”

At this point of his telling of the story I am both laughing and crying and cannot breathe.

Needless to say they grabbed their dog, left the vet and went for a second opinion. They went to a well known animal hospital that quoted them $2,000 for their canine opthalmic surgeon (still wondering why they need the specialist if they are taking out the whole damn eye) and they schedule the surgery. Of course there is a snowstorm and they have to reschedule.

It gets worse. The next day they see blood on the kitchen floor and they find that the tumor has burst. They wrap the dog in a blanket and rush her to the doggie ER where they do emergency surgery, remove the eye, the dog is fine and the cost?

$1,000 because it was emergency, not scheduled, and they did not use the specialist.

Seriously!

Happy to report the dog is now happy as can be – sans one eye – and barks with a bit of a pirate’s accent. They are using the money they saved to buy a wardrobe of eye patches for her.

Can’t make this stuff up.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, pets

If I had eyes in the back of my head…

I would have told you that you looked good as you walked away. – Jack Johnson

Could good ole Jack have know about Wafaa Bilal, the NYU photography professor that is having a camera surgically implanted in the back of his head?  Yes, you read that correctly. Seems Mr. Bilal has been commissioned by the government of Qatar to partake in an art project called ‘The third I”. It is intended as “a comment on the inaccessibility of time, and the inability to capture memory and experience,” according to press materials from the museum. Um… ok.

The camera will take pictures at one-minute intervals and will stream to a computer database. It will appear in different sequences on monitors in an exhibit between December and May.

Anyone find this just a little too over the top. First of all, ouch! I mean how does one surgically implant a camera in the back of someone’s head? Apparently through a piercing device. Ouch, again. And really, what happens to this guy’s personal life? I can’t help but think that half the time there will be streaming video of his friggin’ pillow while he is sleeping. Then there are the hours that he is teaching when he promises to put a ‘lens cap’ over the camera. I am guessing that would cut into the hours too. What if he really boring and most of the images are of the wall in his apartment?

This guy is known for some wacky antics in the name of art. I suppose his thing is pushing the edge. I mean look at that expression in that picture… this guy has nut written all over him.

Hey, I am all for conceptual art. I love a good performance piece. I am a huge fan of streaming video. Hell, I watched the puppy cam for hours last year. But this one? The idea of the surgical implant is just a bit more than I am willing to accept.

Then again, what parent has not wished they had eyes in the back of their head? Who knows, we may see them recommended on cool mom picks next holiday season.

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Filed under absurdities, art, carry a camera, home video, photography