Monthly Archives: April 2009

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 9)

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OK kids, here we are again, my favorite post of the month. Welcome to the 9th installment of the top ten search terms. There are some great ones this month. Enjoy!

menopause irrational behavior Go figure, who would ever suspect someone in menopause of displaying irrational behavior.

menstraution tampon yes, this was misspelled. and what else, might I ask, would one use a tampon for?

snorting smarties negative effects do you think there are any positive effects? another one in this category would be: smarties naked. are smarties ever dressed?

sorry but i don’t have time for this doesn’t it make you wonder why someone who is so busy would waste their time keywording something like this into a search engine?

satan calling and how to call satan these two are a little scary. ‘who’s calling?’ Satan’ ‘Hold, on. Honey it’s for you’. I am more than a little concerned about people who are keywording the phoning of Satan.

ricky martin lunchbox was someone really looking to buy one of these? too bad I found it on the sale rack.

jesus in cheese its wait, are they now putting Jesus in every pack of Cheez its now?

meaning of live to the point of tears if this has to be explained to you then the chance of you actually experiencing it is unlikely

first:”amy” last:”zimmerman” state:”oh” why are people looking for me in Ohio

fart email subscription WOW, this one is the best ever. can you actually subscribe to farts by email?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Flesh Eating Zombies

flesh_eating_zombies

No, I am not talking about an upcoming family reunion. Families can eat your heart out but flesh? No can do.

There is a never ending supply of toys that entertain me. This was something that Gary really wanted for his office but was afraid it was too large. If only there was a mini-version.

Although the Evolving Darwin playset is still my fave (I think the fishman won my heart) this one is a close second. The dog zombie is wonderful, he even has his own blood spatters like the rest of them. The business man zombie looks a lot like the people walking down the street after they get off the commuter train in my town.

Best part?

Glow in the dark, of course.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, gary, photography, products

Smile! There is no HELL

smile-there-is-no-hell

Obviously this person was not sitting at my desk today. 

Just kidding.

This sign was held up right next to a group of religious fanatics when we were doing the campus tour at UW Madison. The lovely thing about this campus is that you feel as if you are smack back in the middle of the days where protesting was the norm. Actually, in Madison it IS the norm.

I loved this sign because the ones that he was next to were terribly hateful and he diffused them so well. They used words like fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate homosexuals (I suppose the butch gays were cool with them), thieves, covetous drunkards (again, those that did not covet were ok) and my favorite: swindlers.

While the zealots were shouting their hateful remarks he would hold this sign up periodically and the crowd would cheer. It was peaceful. And perfect. 

Just another sunny day in the midwest.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under art, carry a camera, college touring, education, signage

Time to Cry Tuesday – Not Dead Yet

grateful-dead

“Look at these pictures of my son, Jerry Garcia Friedman”. 

That was a comment from a women who was sitting near my friends as they waited for us to arrive at The Dead concert Saturday night at Madison Square Garden. 

Can’t make this stuff up.

There were those who scoffed at the idea of seeing The Dead sans Jerry Garcia. I could have leaned towards that camp but the desire to ‘go home again’ outweighed the purist in me. Perhaps he was there in spirit in the baby pictures of that old deadhead sitting behind my friends. Or maybe, just maybe, he was channeling through Warren Haines every so often.

Let’s face it. We all have the rhythms and melodies of our adolescence. The songs that can bring a tear to our eyes our a devilish grin to our faces. For some of us (and you know who you are Karen) it is Barry Manilow. For others (who are still friends with you in spite of that) it would be the cosmic meanderings of a good Dead song.

We are a tribe of sorts. We all went our separate ways but somehow that music makes us feel better when we hear it. And for those who are fortunate to have passed the love on to our kids, the bond gets stronger.

A few observations, some mine, some quoted from others.

“A Dead show is like going to Synagogue (fill in your religious affiliation). I don’t know if I necessarily believe, but I feel like I belong there”. That was from Dave. Very profound, my friend.

“I felt like I was eating the leftovers of a really amazing meal.” This one was from my son!! He was too young to have ever seen Jerry but he had to see what was left of the band. That 4th grade teacher had it right when she called him the happy go lucky deep thinker. Anyone steals that line and I will hunt you down. Not just because I am his mother, I think that line was brilliant.

Ok, here is the part where if you are not a Grateful Dead fan you may want to get a cup of coffee and move along.

Something that is NOT ok for a set list: Albama Getaway into Dark Star (what were they thinking?). Thank goodness they did not play that on Saturday.

Starting the second set with a 35 minute space Jam (oh excuse me Rhythm Devils) into Cryptical into Other One into Born Cross-eyed into St. Stephen was a bit too much. This was all a space head’s fantasy but this crowd was bored and talking. You can do that in the middle of set but to start, not so much. Almost a solid hour of way out there, even for someone who loves the sound. 

What has NOT changed about a DEAD show? Tie dye, old hippies, dread locks, clouds of pot smoke, girls in long patchwork skirts (where do they pick them up nowadays), taking an 8-year-old is still a bad idea no matter how much you want to share with your kid and even if you have the most amazing seats (second row on the side of corner stage) the biggest, dancingest guy will always sit in front of you causing you to have to stand the entire show.

What HAS changed: most people had to take out their glasses to read their tickets.

All in all, I would say for a few brief hours I did go home again. Like Dave, I don’t know why but I just felt like I belonged.

And in these times there is nothing wrong with a little comfort food for the soul.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under music, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Are We Having Fun Yet?

get-real-1071fm  

Well I certainly am. 

As luck would have it, I was crowned the ‘Get Real Girl of the Week‘ on my new favorite radio station 107.1 FM in Minneapolis (alright so I don’t live there but we cares) My two new BFFs Liv and Colleen interviewed me for this week’s show that had the theme ‘Are We Having Fun Yet?’ (one of my favorite quotes). They found me from my 50-something Mom Blog post about a recent birthday celebration for a friend. Pretty cool, right?

You can see the blog post here. And this is the link to the get real girl of the week interview podcast. It’s a long clip but if  screw around with the slider I am about 3/4 of the way in. I need to figure out how to grab that piece of the audio out and embed it here. Till then, humor me with the effort.

Oh, and yes, I know that I used amazing 2 times in one sentence (I hate that) and of course I am aware that a NY Jewish girl speaks about twice the amount of words per minute than those who live in the Midwest.

All in all it was a blast and I can add it to my list of fun things I did this weekend.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor, interviews, press

The Big Two Oh!

jana_forever-young

I know I have already blogged about this once this week, but this is monumental.

Today is the 20th birthday of the fabulous Miss Jana. All you lurkers out there, the pressure is on to throw a comment in to wish my not so little girl a very happy birthday. Keep in mind she is in the home stretch of the semester and life is not all that much fun so she could really use a shout out from all of you.

In celebration of her birthday I will share my top ten most favorite things about Jana (in no particular order)

1. her hair (Dr. Jimmy is with me on this one)

2. her smile (thanks to the orthodontist who gave her the straightest teeth in the zip code)

3. her ability to suck it up in tough situations.

4. the fact that she will always be the one to tell me when it is time to get my hair colored (this could be one of the things I miss the most with her gone)

5. her kind heart

6. the way she taught me that it really doesn’t matter if a teenager’s room is a mess.

7. the way she treats her brother 

8. her love for music (her dad made sure of that)

9. the way she hates to shop (where could that come from)

10. the fact that my behavior rarely embarrasses her 

For the second time this week, but on the actual date you popped out, happy birthday Janny girl!

Now come on, let’s see some comments here…

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, holidays, Jana, parenting, teenagers, top ten lists

Evolving Darwin Playset

evolving_darwin_playset

Who could resist such an item? I am starting to accumulate a serious toy collection in my office. At first I just took a picture of this one but Gary convinced me to go back and buy it. He knew I would be sorry. You have to love that about him.

It all started with the Albert Einstein Action Figure – funny how you have such a soft spot in your heart for your first. I actually bought two of those, one to keep sealed and one to play with.

Back to Darwin. My favorite part is the thought bubble:

‘From “Fish-Man” to “Genius” in only 380 Million Years!

Brilliant! Simply Brilliant.

I wish I could have gotten a close up on Fish Man’s face, he was Jana’s favorite part. 

This lovely item, and another that I will grace you with later on, are made by the company Accoutrements. I just love to say that word, don’t you? Here is a little something from their About Us page:

For over 25 years we’ve provided the world with amazing products that provoke, challenge and entertain. From our Yodelling Pickle to our Bacon Bandages, we create things that people need to have!

I have to admit, I am thinking of buying those Bacon Bandages. (for my vegetarian brother of course)

You can purchase their items retail at mcphee.com. There you can purchase some all-time faves like Stress Weiner (your husband will thank you), Mr. Bacon vs. Monsiuer Tofu (an interesting match to say the least) or the ever popular Watermelon Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Lollipops (because seriously, who DOESN’T want to suck on a little Freud – as always a little head would be nice).

Oh and don’t forget the Love Rats (wasn’t that a B52’s song

Hey Accoutrements, let’s see how good your social media monitoring is out there. I am thinking I should be getting a nice care package of absurdities for this post, don’t you?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, companies, products

Is that a balloon in your pocket?

ballon_dick

While I am on the topic of ‘bona’s’ I thought this would make a good follow-up post to yesterday. Sometimes life presents us with the most wondrous opportunities. Hence why I will never be caught without a camera.

There I was, enjoying a lovely spring afternoon and Little Mister Balloon Dick just crossed my path at the perfect moment. In respect for the privacy of this kid I cropped his face out, but I left just enough of his little brother on the right side for you to imagine his expression. I have heard of multi-tasking, and multiple orgasms, but this guy had multiple members.

Sometimes life is so grand I could burst.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor

Are they kidding?

bona

Bona?

Bona!!

Bona hardwood floorwax. Seriously, did no one think about the name of this product and the humor here?

This awfully blurry shot is courtesy of my brother who could not resist to snap it with his Blackberry while in the store. I love that the whole family is now contributing to the blog with links and pics.

So back to ‘Bona’. Love the tagline from the website: ‘It’s a Lifetime Committment’. It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor, photography, products

Time to Cry Tuesday – Twenty!

jana_at_20

Indulge me – if you will – this little walk down the long and winding road of parenthood, for this week I will celebrate not only the birthday of my oldest child, but the anniversary of my 20th year of parenting.

What the hell!

Sometimes I wake up and forget how old I am.  I have had some weird dreams about not studying for a test, or being at camp or some other adolescent place and I totally forget that I am the mom of these young adults. I am embarrassed to say there are times when they are way more grown up than I am.

When I stop to think about it the whole thing is rather staggering.

Twenty years of “I’m the mommy, that’s why”. Two decades of being responsible for the well-being of other human beings. Two hundred and forty months of always being cognitive of other people’s whereabouts and safety. Seven thousand three hundred nights of being only as happy as my most miserable child.

You get the picture.

I have done many things in my life. Built a career, nurtured (or is that tortured) a marriage, made a house a home, navigated the nastiness of the healthcare system with my parents, built friendships and contributed to a community. But there is no other single thing I have done in my life that has had a greater impact on me than being a mom. Seriously. Not because I am expected to feel that way. Or because that is what I want my kids to think. But because it is simply…

True.

I am a better person for what they have taught me to be. From the moment they could reach out and hold my hand as we crossed the street, to the day when they had to push that hand away and ‘do it themselves’. They have taught me when to hold tight, and more importantly, when to let go.

Here’s to you, baby girl. Kiss your teens goodbye and grab your twenties by the balls. You are truly someone to proud of.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, Jana, moms, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays