Tag Archives: products

Time to Cry Tuesday – Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific

gee-your-hair-smells-terrific

There are people in your life that know you to the core, and as they say, love you anyway. You have a common past and a shared commitment to one another that is unshakeable. I like to refer to these friends as the ones you call, ask them to bring a shovel and they, in turn, ask no questions (not that I have ever done this, but it is good to know).

I am fortunate to say that I have a solid pool of these type of friends and never does a day go by that I do not feel grateful for that. There are three of them that have been in my life since I was in 6th grade. I was a latecomer to this group; they all know each other since kindergarten! Whenever we get the chance, which is not often enough, we go for a ‘reset’. Sometimes it is just a dinner, but when we are lucky it is a weekend. I recommend reset for everyone. It is the best therapy, the most laughs and reminds you WHY (in caps and the all-encompassing why).

This past weekend we reset. With party favors! Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific was the shampoo of our adolescence. We were obsessed with this product. If social media existed back then this product would have broken the internet. One of the reset girls found this online and ordered a bottle for each of us (Ron, I believe I took yours home, sorry). The sight of that packaging brought back a flood of shared memories and cemented our connection once again.

Gee my friends are terrific (yes, corny wrap-up). Ok, I will try again. Without these 3, life itself would be utter chaos, even though sometimes we are the cause of each other’s chaos. We stage interventions, big and small, tell each other the things we don’t want to hear but need to and problem solve (ad nauseum). But must important, we laugh, to the point of tears. (yes, that is this blog’s tagline).

Love, Love, Love, you 3.

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Filed under friendship, notstalgia, products

Twenty Percent More Energy

coffee

 

Seriously, Chock Full o’ Nuts, the Energy Blend? We now need a Red Bull version of our morning joe? I saw this on the shelf next to the dark roast, ½ caff, regular, flavored, robust roast… you get what I mean. This is like liquid speed disguised an innocent cup of coffee. I fear the results. Yet I am sure there is a big market for this heart racer. I mean, hey, who doesn’t need at least twenty percent more energy?

I, for one, am a ½ caff kinda girl. And even that is too much for most people who talk to me early in the morning. I believe there would be a special request from most of my friends and colleagues that I never let this ‘Energy’ version pass my lips. I am afraid the top of my head would blow off.

Although it would be interesting to see how many words per minute I could speak on this stuff…

 

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Who Writes This Crap

charmin

Pun intended.

‘We all go. Why not enjoy the go?’

Hey Charmin, what were you guys thinking?

I am in the business. I am fully aware of the countless taglines submitted, the late nights getting silly around a conference table laden with candy, the absurd options that come out of these sessions and the painful layers of approvals.

I cannot help but think this one was a joke that somehow slipped into the pile and someone who was running out to catch a plane or go to a kid’s soccer game signed off on it without thinking.

Because, you know, even those of us who ‘enjoy the go’ – and believe me, I am one of them – know that this is just too absurd to be real. If you must know, bathroom humor and discussion of toileting has always been a favorite topic in my family. The joke is that it only takes about 15 minutes when we are all together before the discussion turns to… going. So if anyone would be the market for this, it would be us. But it sort of falls flat for me.

Now don’t get me going on the ‘Ultra Suave’ subhead to Ultra Soft. (picturing a guy with an ascot sitting on the bowl practicing smooth pick up lines) *There is nothing like humor when you are your own target… it was just pointed out to me that Ultra Suave is the Spanish translation for Ultra Soft… damn, apparently I would have done poorly on that trip to Spain. Imagine the trouble I could have gotten myself into there.

I will give this brand credit for their ‘sitorsquat’ public restroom app. Although, if I am not mistaken, they stole this idea from George Castanza.

FYI, I am a loyal user of Charmin despite their silly taglines and even though I know it is bad for the environment. There are some places I will not sacrifice, and let’s face it, butt suave is where it’s at.

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Cat Butt Gum

IMG_3583

Is it really necessary for me to write about this? Was the snapping of the shot not enough commentary?

I will leave but one comment here:

Is anyone else disturbed by the level of detail in the rendering of the feline anus on this package?

Yeh, I thought so.

 

 

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I Take a Sheet

This is a banner week for people sending me things. This one comes from Natasha.

What a campaign! If you have ever eaten dinner over you know there is an inordinate amount of discussion surrounding…

taking a sheet. You could say we are a little preoccupied with it (or is that just me?)

I can’t imagine how they ever got the client to go for this campaign, but honestly I think it is hysterical and will surely get attention for this ridiculous product; Energy sheets that melt in your mouth like those breath strips with ‘vitamins’ and… caffeine, to help you with endurance when you are doing sports.

You know, for those who don’t give a sheet about their bodies (sorry, cheap shot).

BTW, their website is a gas. (I know I have a million of these)

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Booty Pop – When baby don’t have back

Yes folks, now you too can have that perfect booty. With Booty Pop. What are these, you ask? Well, they are the panties that make your booty pop.

And we want our booty pop because…

Oh right, I am not the demographic.

As they say on the website “Lose that boring backside. Get a Booty-licious booty in an instant?” Oh dear lord. Then what happens when he falls for your big ole backside and you slide those suckers off and he finds the only thing in your panties is that boring backside. So, these are actually butt falsies? What next?

These were found in the Bed Bath & Beyond sale rack. Thinking maybe the BBB shopper out looking for some cookware or maybe a bathroom hutch is not in the market for Booty Pop panties. But hey, you never know.

Makes a nice impulse buy item.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, humor, product reviews, products

What Flavoured Soup Mix?

I just could not put the name of this soup in my post title for fear of what Google would drive here. Although it is tempting – being a blog whore and all – to get some cheap stats by using the word ‘cock’ in a post title. But I have enough weirdos googling things like ‘castrated men’, ‘me with bulges’ and a big fave this week, ‘orange peel penis’, which in case you missed  it was an actual blog post you can read here.

So yes, my friends, for those of you who savor the flavor, so to speak, you can go home and cook yourself a big bowl of Cock Flavoured Soup tonight. Who knows what will cum of it (sorry, cheap shot). I particularly like that this is made by a company called Grace. And just because I think it takes a lot of balls (again, sorry, cheap shot 2) to make a soup by this name I will give the dear people at Grace a little link love and let you know where you can buy this stuff. It would surely make a great gag gift (ok, I am taking this a bit too far, so sue me!)

A big thanks to Paula P for sending this one in. Truthfully, who had better friends than me?

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, food, products, search engine terms

Tongue Cleaner

Forgot my camera today but luckily I had my phone. Not the best picture but you can still see this baby tucked in between the Canker Cover and the Humming Bird (I am not going to even ask what THAT is used for). This display was the trifecta of absurdities. Just my kind of merchandising.

I can’t imagine using this item but who could resist the tagline: your breath’s friend! With a TM no less.

Dr. Jimmy? Commentary?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Move over Viagra, now there’s sex GUM!

While buying suntan lotion at Walgreen’s in South Beach I came across Sexlet – the sex gum, at the check out counter. Talk about an impulse buy! I have to admit I find the name rather annoying. Are they trying to do a play on sex and chicklets? Not working for me.

Nonetheless, I was intrigued by the package and then drawn in by the claims on the counter card:

Sexlets™ for him (kind of put off that there is no Sexlets for her) claims to be a proprietary blend of natural male stimulating ingredients (boring so far) which are directly absorbed into the the body’s bloodstream (still very boring). Chewing the gum releases these natural actives and allow absorption through the capillaries (what is this, middle school health class sex, how disappointing). Then a whole bunch of digestive system stuff – talk about a buzz kill. And THEN…

….which cause an increase in blood flow (hmmm, blood flow moves in the right direction). This consequently makes for a larger, thicker penis with longer, harder, firmer and more powerful erections. (NOW we’re talkin’ – oh jeez, mom, so sorry, I know you are reading this).

Wait, all this from GUM? OTC? What a claim. Send a case to everyone for the holidays!

Now, I bet you would expect the follow-up line to be, ” If you have an erection for more than 4 hours, call your doctor.” But no, not this product. Their following line is: “Chewing gum promotes saliva which according to dentists (Dr. Jimmy, please confirm) helps maintain clean and healthy teeth and gums by eliminating promotion of bacteria”. Hey don’t know about you guys but talk of mouth bacteria surely does not put me in the mood.

So I bought this pack of gum and all weekend this became a great running joke. Wow, hot looking waiter, ask him if he needs gum. Hey the towel boy at the pool is a babe, think he needs some gum?

Ok, so we never gave any out. But I do have a pack here if anyone is interested. Maybe I should run a giveaway! Give me your most embarrassing dating story and I will send you a pack.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, products, sex

Uranus underwear!

soyunderwear-797191

I kid you not. Thanks to that grand diva of design in the blogosphere, designmom, I am now privy to these skivvies.

These are soy based underwear. Sustainability with a sense of humor, what could be better?

Imagine the founders sitting around naming the line. Can we really call it Uranus? Sure, why not? I mean it does cover your…

Seriously, I am sure this is a lovely product, but I know I am inclined to try it out because the name is so funny. In fact, I could buy these as a gift for oh so many people.

The three things I like best about this product:

1. the word Uranus boldy printed on the waistband

2. the ‘about uranus‘ button on their website.

3. their tagline: help save the planet earth starting with uranus

Yes, I am an infant. But admit that you have laughed through this entire post.

So Uranus babes, let’s see if you pick this post up in your social media monitoring. If you are wondering, I am thinking this big ole butt is probably a large.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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