Monthly Archives: August 2008

The Perfect Labor Day Outfit

I will be shamelessly self-promoting my new photo blog, leaving the zip code, here from now on. You won’t be disappointed, I promise. Let’s see if some of you will take the ‘submit’ challenge.

Once again, I have illustrated why you should always carry a camera. Or why I should, anyway.

The image gods dropped this babe for me from photography heaven.

After the most perfect beach day imaginable, spent with my one of my BFFs from childhood, we stopped at a local lobster market to pick up dinner.

As we were getting back in the car we happened upon this couple. Fumbling for my camera we lost sight of them. Off we rode down the block into the belly of the beast of bars and restaurants until we caught up with them.

I love black leather boots on Labor Day Weekend! What was that rule about wearing white?

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Filed under carry a camera, fashion, friendship, humor, photography, trends

Top Ten Search Terms (vol.2)

I will be shamelessly self-promoting my new photo blog, leaving the zip code, here from now on. You won’t be disappointed, I promise. Let’s see if some of you will take the ‘submit’ challenge.

This one was really hard to narrow down to only 10, so I cheated and put all the tampons in as one listing. They were all too funny to leave any out.

As I did last month, I have linked these to the posts I think the search yielded:

10. petafile aroiund my neiborhood (uh, do we have a spelling issue going on here? this link is a stretch but I could not think of what else they found with that)

9. victim nail polish (I was once a victim to nail polish but I went into therapy and now I am good)

8. highway to hell photo code (wait, is there a password to get into hell?)

7. does menopause make women irrational and (Duh!! No, these hormones are not a problem sonny, just don’t come near me when I have a knife in my hand. I cannot help but wonder what came after the ‘and’…homicidal? frankly psychotic? certifiably insane? any other suggestions?)

6. mars cheerleaders (imagine the outfits they would be wearing)

5. decision ball outlook so so (this is a pretty wishy-washy magic eight ball, no?)

4. okay to drive baby in convertible? (helloooo, if you have to ask we should get your number and call social services)

3. acronym for burnt mouth from hot pizza (that would have to be BMFHP?)

2. adirondack milfs (I believe this may be an impossibility, have you ever been to the adirondacks?)

1. tampons don’t work (um, maybe you need to change it more often),  yank out tampon  (ouch, must you yank?)strategies for getting tampon out (this one should be pretty simple, did you not know that was what the string was for?) and the all time fave…

obama covered with tampons (just the visual alone is hysterical. yes I posted about this one already, so sue me)

There were a few more that I loved, but I need to be selective, right? Feel free to vote for your faves. And claim any of them if they were yours.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, search engine terms, searches, Uncategorized

Treatment or PR Stunt

Just read this one: David Duchovny in sex addiction treatment.

Being a huge fan of Californication and Duchovny I would like to put it out there. Do you think this is a PR stunt or real treatment?

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Filed under current events, health

Love/hate relationship with Spanx

I know. I spend way too much time making references to Spanx. If I spent that much time doing sit-ups I could finally lose this Spanx jones and get that lycra monkey off my back/ass. (oh, sorry, i digress into my Jimi Hendrix persona now and then). 

So, when one of my BBFFs (best blog friends forever), Finding Blanche, posted this video today with a suggestion by Mary (below) that we continue the love with this one, I jumped at the chance. It is long but so funny (almost as funny as my Seth Diamond video) you will go back and watch at least parts of it again. This is why I love the internet! This one is actually the Leggs version. (hey, maybe I should try those)

Here is the history: Finding Blanche posted this after she found it on Gnightgirl who posted it after she found it on Fighting Mad Mary who found it on GloZell. That’s whose it is, by the way. GloZell’s.

Would love to see this keep on going. Any takers for tomorrow?

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Filed under fashion, friendship, humor, products, trends, women

Lavatory Services?

A reminder to read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms today. And another shameless plug for Leaving the Zip Code. Trust me, you will really enjoy the pics over there.

Driving this baby just can’t be a good job.

Not sure if you can see, but there are some funky tools on the top of that truck. Could that be a shovel? Is that simply too cliché – to shovel the proverbial shit?

Really, can anyone tell me exactly what these guys do? Pardon my ignorance, but I always thought when you flushed on the plane it just kind of, well you know, got processed in some pneumatic tube kind of thing, was freeze dried and flew out the bottom of the sucker. Does it actually go into some sort of tank that these guys in turn have to… service?

Ok, so I could not resist doing a little research. Here is the yahoo answer in its entirety, but I had to include this excerpt because I could not stop laughing (which since it is Thursday there will be no crying till next week):

While we could not find specific FAA documents on disposal regulations, it’s common knowledge that the so-called “blue ice” or “brown goo” that accumulates within airplanes does drop onto unsuspecting targets from time to time.

Recently, an unlucky resident of Santa Cruz, California, received a special blue ice delivery courtesy of an American Airlines plane right through the skylight of his boat. He took the airline to small claims court and won a modest sum. A Pittsburgh woman’s home was also subject to such a delivery. Other folks describe mysterious biological material that appears splattered around their houses and property.

I absolutely love the use of the word ‘delivery’. How funny is that?

I guess the only response to this is…

EW!

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Filed under humor, travel

UPS and the 21lb. box of shoes

Last college moving post, I promise.

If you have ever schlepped a kid and their stuff you will love this one. And if you have ever had to track a package you will love it even more. I touch on this in my post at Mid-Century Modern Moms but here is the full story with the outcome. (BTW, my Wednesday post there was moved to Thursday this week)

First, yes, we did actually send 21 lbs. of shoes to Madison. AND she is only a size 6 so that is 21 lbs. of tiny shoes. We are thinking of changing her name to Emelda.

The package was ‘lost’ by UPS. After being not so nice to the rep on the phone about the incorrect address they ‘claimed’ we wrote on the package, we find out from her friends that it was, in fact the incorrect address. Ah, what is a few digits amongst shippers? Having to call UPS back on the 800# what is the shot I would get the SAME rep? Yes, that was a little embarrassing. Nonetheless, he BS’d ‘assured’ me this was being handled and would be delivered on Tuesday.

Fast forward to Monday, I track it online and find this:

Yeh, well ok. WTF!

Note each time they talk about the incorrect friggin’ street number signifies each time I was on the phone with these idiots and…

you guessed it, nothing happened.

Finally, the least of the incompetents ‘regional facility agent’ called to tell me that this was handled and would be delivered this afternoon. The best part of our little chat was when she actually said to me, “Oh, you have been dealing with the 800 national call center? They really don’t know what the heck they are doing and never seem to resolve anything.” (no lie)

That is when I asked her what number I should have called and she informed me that is the only one available and actually said, “Yeh, I know it is a terrible system.”

This is UPS for G-d sake. You know what is coming here, my favorite line:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But of course, all is well that ends well. I am sure my sweet daughter will finally be able to wear something on her feet other than the 3 pair of flip flops and one pair of converse that she traveled with. 

Oh and the missing printer, that was found too. But who really cares about a printer in college when you have 21 lbs. of shoes?

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Filed under absurdities, family, humor, parenting

Time to Cry Tuesday

(don’t worry, tomorrow I will be funny again and tell you all about the lunatics at UPS and the 21lb box of missing shoes)

I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things

Friendship.

There are days when I wonder how I would be able to go on without the people in my life that ground me. Those who are there… no matter what. And I try my best to be there for them.

The stars must  be aligned in a funky way, as quite a few special people in my life are going through some very trying times.

Lately I have heard a lot of sadness and worry.

And of course waking up at 4AM to drive to Milwaukee and fly away from my sweet daughter only added to the melancholy feeling of the day. 

But as luck would have it, there always seems to be some cosmic intervention that makes me sit up and take notice.

To listen.

This morning, as I drove into the most magnificent sunrise (note picture taken from the steering wheel at 70mph), Sirius radio gave me a wonderful gift. They played a favorite old Kinks song, Better Things.

To those who are suffering the tough times, those who are just feeling a little sad about their kids growing up and their lives changing, and even those who just need to look towards the future, here are my fave lines from this song:

Here’s hoping all the days ahead 
Won’t be as bitter as the ones behind you. 
Be an optimist instead, 
And somehow happiness will find you. 
Forget what happened yesterday, 
I know that better things are on the way…

Accept your life and what it brings. 
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things. 

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Filed under friendship, Time to Cry Tuesdays, Uncategorized