Yeh, everyone has a twitter account. And since WordPress just launched this way cool feature called Blackbird Pie today, I am able to post beautiful tweet captures without having to do screen grabs and stuff. (yeh, mom, I know that sounded like a foreign language – don’t worry, most people don’t understand what I am saying most of the time)
Anyway, the whole point is that I found a new toy online and had to play with it and do a second post today. (I am so a damn prolific, aren’t I?) Here are my favorite tweets by the elusive, missing Bronx Zoo Cobra – in no particular order. Seems that little snake has quite the sense of humor and a real passion for pop culture.
Does anyone know if the Whole Foods in Columbus Circle sells organic mice?
Got it? Really? What, are you sleep deprived? Look at it again.
That’s right Energy for Less.
So, what does this mean? Coffee drinker? Guy named Les buying cheap energy drinks? Speed dealer with good prices? Let’s put this baby out for a little poll. I am adding in an option to add your own ideas and I will share them later on. Or feel free to put them in the comments.
Never count your chickens before they hatch. Period.
Everyone should live by this rule. In business. When playing MegaMillions (ok, so maybe I spent a little of the 340 mil this weekend in my mind). And especially in sports.
This past weekend a young man who is very special to us (understatement) was fortunate enough to be on the other side of the chicken counting. His HS basketball team went into the state finals against an undefeated team in their division. This very cocky opponent team came into the semi-finals 28-0. They won the semis and simply assumed that the finals were theirs for the taking. So much so that they had ’30-0′ shirts made up before the competition.
In a harrowing, nail biting, moms (and dads) in tears victory, the other team came back in the second half to…
This is an actual sign. It does not come from one of those sign generator websites that say things like ‘Merry Christmas from an Atheist’. Adding to the outright hysterical nature of this, it was sent to me via text from my most self-described germaphobic friend.
Her original question was, “Would you go swimming in this pool? We are at a resort in Alabama.” Wanting to give full respect to the residents of that fine state I would just like to ask y’all… “WHAT THE HELL?” The next question from my horrified friend was, “What do you think the ‘etc’ is. My answer was, “Leprocy”
Ok, so let’s review this one. How do we actually verify whether the bather in question has diarrhea? Do we follow every living soul into the bathroom and wait? Now those with skin diseases and lesions, although they would be quite easy to pick out in a crowd I am thinking A) sitting in the sun by the pool might not be on the top of the list of their activities and B) the chlorine would probably hurt like hell so they would most likely not be inclined to go for a dip.
Now the ‘etc.’ crowd? They are going to be REALLY hard to police.
I suppose they needed to cover all the bases. You know, because most upscale resorts have all sorts of problems with this sort of thing.
I was at the ASI show at the Javitz Center today. For those who do not know ASI, it is the trade show for ad specialities… or in lay terms all the stuff with logos that companies hand out… at trade shows. Sort of self-perpetuating, isn’t it?
In fairness, a lot of the stuff is given away at places other than trade shows but it was funnier to think of it the other way.
Anyway, we were walking around in that I can’t possibly look at another pen or eco-bag kind of stupor when these two older gentleman walked passed us wheeling cartons of…
We stopped them, asked if we could take their picture and questioned them about the boxes. They said they had no idea, but the guys from Booth 1059 pay them to walk around wheeling these boxes. Then they cracked a lame joke about this being different way of saying ‘Pissed Off.’
Well, we never did check out who was at Booth 1059 and quite frankly I didn’t care who they were if they did not have the sense to at least give these two guys a line to tell people who asked about the Urine Off. But I did get curious tonight so I looked it up and there was no Booth 1059… sort of Twighlight Zone-ish, no?
I did however, google Urine Off and it appears this is the ‘World’s Best Urine and Stain Remover’ or like the box says, ‘The Name Says it All’. This company also makes Coffee Off and Wine Off.
Sorry guys, they are simply not as funny – for obvious reasons.
It would appear that one of the perks of being friends with The Magnet For The Absurd (MFTA) is that eventually absurdities start to present themselves to you. This wonderful image comes from Susan, who has sent me countless absurdities by phone, for my sheer entertainment and wonder. Sue, I believe you have left apprentice stage and have earned the title of Partner of Absurdity (POA).
This morning I logged onto facebook and found this link to the most adorable baby laughing.
How can you not smile when you see something like this? I shared it with Gary. And then I shared another one I had seen last week that was similarly charming. We smiled, laughed a little and said, hey this is not a bad way to start a rainy monday.
And then the damn morning news spewed its usual horror stories, one in which a toddler was left in the hospital in critical condition. Sandwiched in between tsunami/earthquake/irradiated spinach/air strikes… yadayad-bad news-yada.
Talk about a buzz kill.
That is when I turned to Gary and said, “We can choose to start our day with the laughing baby or the tragic toddler.” These 2 videos currently have over 7 million and 12 million hits. I am thinking perhaps if more of us started our day with the laughing babies we would probably be a lot healthier.
I am not saying that we should not empathize or be outraged by the tragic toddlers… but maybe if more people unwrapped their day with a little more joy and a lot less tragedy we would be a hell of a lot better off.
Gary came on today’s walk with Mel and I and check out what he found. Just beneath some rudimentary beekeeping apparatus were all these spent honeycombs. Now, of course if it was not March and in the ’50s you know I would have been writing this post from the ER (allergic, thank you very much… to bees, not honey).
I thought it sort of ironic that he was drawn to this. If you have ever eaten with us you would know that he is a man who loves a big-ass cup of tea (Earl Grey) with honey. He does not ask for much, but this is very important to him. So much so that those who are close to us stock both in their homes for when he visits (like Riki did tonight… thanks for never disappointing).
Hey, there are worse vices. Like tennis, perhaps. (just kidding)
This one comes from my dear friend Dani. She posted it on facebook and I knew she had me in mind. This is at South of the Border (where else?). I wonder if it is just an open field or if they have set up something cute with dividers. You know, to give the furry little creatures some privacy.
I have always been amused by the JFK Airport Pet Relief Area sign. I googled it and found this picture. You have to love the fire hydrant in the middle. To make them feel less self conscious and more at home, I suppose.
FYI, Philadelphia has 7 pet relief areas at their airport. So I am guessing that when you fly through there you best be carrying a second pair of shoes,just in case.
I know what you are thinking. Only I could write a whole post about pet toileting. Yeh well, it amuses me, what can I say?