Tag Archives: toilet

April 22, 2013 · 11:09 am

A Situation, or Life with a Lab.

bone-in-toilet

Time: 6:45 am

Gary: Nooooo! Uch, now YOU get it.

Me: Ummm… you would be talking to who?

Gary: No, I am not kidding, you get it.

Me: (walking into the bathroom where I see both Gary and the Iko looking into the toilet) WAIT, I need to get a camera.

What, you thought I was going to stick my hand in the toilet to get that bone? Yeh, right! Yes, that is what that was, a bone. I have had people guess it was a sock and a condom. Seriously? A condom in my house? With my sans uterus, way past childbearing old arse?

Gary: She needs to get that out of the toilet. Go ahead Iko, you dropped it in there, now you get it out.

Iko: Gives the universal Lab look of ‘are you f’in kidding me’, turns around and walks out of the bathroom.

Me: Guess that leaves you, my sweet. Don’t worry, I just cleaned that toilet… um, when was that again.

He is hard pressed to believe I did not put the dog up to this… perhaps that will make him think next time he leaves the seat up ; )

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January 22, 2012 · 9:13 pm

It’s Toilet Season

Apparently it is in my neighborhood.

An early morning walker and lover of garbage day, I take notice of what people throw away. It seems toilets are all the rage in the ‘hood.

First I came across this one at the curb, which BTW has been there since January 10th. It has that lovely retro Harvest Gold look to it. They tried to cleverly camouflage it as regular garbage by stuffing some boxes in it and leaving it at the curb.

The garbage men are not buying it.

This second one is sort of leaning causally at the back of the house just chillin’ with the old screens and stuff. You know, sort of making a permanent home for itself as a lawn ornament of sorts. No, I do not walk into people’s backyards to take pictures. What? You think I am a stalker or something? This yard butts up against an open area on my walk. I love that Regency Blue styling.

How do I know so much about vintage toilet colors? You know, it’s sort of a hobby. No seriously, I found them here which led me to here.

Amazing what you can find.

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March 19, 2011 · 7:53 pm

Pet Toilets

This one comes from my dear friend Dani. She posted it on facebook and I knew she had me in mind. This is at South of the Border (where else?). I wonder if it is just an open field or if they have set up something cute with dividers. You know, to give the furry little creatures some privacy.

I have always been amused by the JFK Airport Pet Relief Area sign. I googled it and found this picture. You have to love the fire hydrant in the middle. To make them feel less self conscious and more at home, I suppose.

FYI, Philadelphia has 7 pet relief areas at their airport. So I am guessing that when you fly through there you best be carrying a second pair of shoes,just in case.

I know what you are thinking. Only I could write a whole post about pet toileting. Yeh well, it amuses me, what can I say?

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January 11, 2011 · 11:02 pm

Comfort Wipe

Oh yeh, now we’re talkin’ MFTA material. I big thank you to Jana’s friend Sarah for finding this baby….

The Comfort Wipe.

In a nutshell, this is a a plastic arm that holds your toilet paper while you wipe your arse! They claim this is the first improvement to toilet paper since the 1880s. Oh, you mean the year it was invented? So they are saying nothing has changed in the TP world since it was first conceived of… I sort of doubt that. With all those bears and clouds hawking the stuff I would think there have been a few improvements along the way. I mean 2010 alone was a huge year in the land of the wiping of ones butt with advertising smackdowns and the like.

Back to the Comfort Wipe, I love the idea that these people find toilet paper ‘archaic’ and ‘disgusting’.  They are marketing this towards those who ‘just don’t want to touch dirty toilet paper’.

You know, as opposed to those of us who really like to.

With a pitch like that how could anyone not own one of these. Of course I do wonder how the hell you are supposed to clean this thing.

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October 20, 2010 · 11:16 pm

Can it fit in a toilet?

This is the first question that Gary asks when told about a small dog. He is not a fan. (can you tell?) Being a big dog kind of guy I think this is his way of saying if you can flush it then there is no real argument for it having any pet value. I always sort of worry that he might actually try it one day. Then again, he used to call them puntable dogs and I never actually witnessed him drop kicking one, so I assume it is just his slang.

Anyway, this post is not really about small dogs. It is actually about toilets. And the crazy things that accidentally get flushed down them.

It seems that when shit happens (no pun intended), it usually happens in a big way in my house. We don’t like to do single crises. You could say we are calamity over-achievers.

So, as a quick overview, in the past few weeks I have been diagnosed with vertigo (it passed thankfully, except in extreme circular situations or when I hold my head funny), I chipped a tooth on a piece of toast and the biggie, my dad needed to have his pacemaker changed. He has had it done before, but being a long-term multi-issue cardiac patient it is a bit tricky. In all the confusion of family staying over and rotating bathroom schedules somehow the cap from the air freshener found its way into the bowl just as the water was going down.

Now, you may say to yourself, that cap is too damn big to go down a toilet.

Wrong!

Down it went and off to the hospital we went, with a call into my plumber of 22 years. Who, by the way, has still not returned my call from 9 this morning. So, yes, he is no longer on the preferred vendor list here. But another lovely plumber with some kickass blue super sonic gloves, a really cool telescoping mirror (kind of like the one the dentist uses, Dr. Jimmy, but a little less sterile) and the ever famous…

toilet vacuum! Yep, this baby sucked that cap right out of the toilet like it was nothing. And I am proud to say I now have the cleanest toilet in town. Kind of like a toilet colonic, if you will.

Of course I had to ask this guy what was the oddest thing he has ever seen flushed down a toilet? His answer?

False teeth.

EW! On so many levels

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May 22, 2009 · 11:22 pm

Ground Control to Major Toilet

toilet control

When eating at a new restaurant, some people are impressed by the bar. Others are interested in the mood set by the decor. Still others focus on the food.

Me? I am all about the bathrooms. What? You are not surprised by that? Well, after all, this is the same blog that has brought you the Japanese restaurant Modern Toilet, elephant poop paper, and fart pads. Sorry, if you find this infantile. I understand, but there is something about bathroom humor that always makes me laugh. Sophomoric? Duh!

The photo above was taken in the bathroom of a very chic NYC restaurant that my sorry ass has no business eating in. Mirimoto NYC is tragically hip and filled with the most severe of materials: polished cement, leaf embedded resin, glass dividers, acrylic butt-hugging bar stools, walls created from hundreds of bottles and a crowd that frankly looked a little on the hungry side to me. Face it, if you are that skinny there is no way you are in this place for the food. Surprisingly, the food was excellent. 

I entered the bathroom stall and noticed two things immediately. First, the toilet seat was heated. Seriously! I thought we are not supposed to seat on public toilet seats. Perhaps the heat is thought to kill the germs. I was in full squat when I felt the heat rising off the seat. Then I looked to the right and saw this very impressive control panel. In case you can’t read the labels let me list them here:

Flush (this one is basic), oscillating (hmm, remind me why do I want to have my toilet oscillate again?), pulsating (I guess this would be the obvious follow-up to oscillating), dryer (all that previous activity probably causes some splashing, so this makes sense), stop (good idea to have this option in case any of these features gets to be too much), rear cleansing (self explanatory), front cleansing (same), pressure (anyone wonder why we need pressure from our toilet, isn’t life stressful enough?) and of course your fave and mine, position. Not sure what the little symbols were for but I think they had to do with cleaning.

I was a few glasses of wine to the wind when I entered the bathroom, and for the life of me I do not know why I did not try out all the toilet options. I suppose I was a little bit intimidated or maybe too concerned with getting a picture to make sure I did not hallucinate this one.

I will leave you with this question. Was this panel custom designed or can you actually buy this for your home?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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March 11, 2009 · 6:28 pm

What’s the poop on this restaurant?

modern_toiletAhh… to eat or pee, that is the question!

There is a new restaurant chain in Taiwan called Modern Toilet! And the theme would be? You guessed it, bathroom gourmet. I first read about this in Time and had to do a little exploring.

Now here is concept that my extended family would surely embrace. When we all get together it is inevitable that the conversation will go the way of defecation. My brother has amazed my kids more than once with stories of his bathroom feats. And my nephew, I believe there was once a comparison to the titanic.

toilet_sushiThis place is wild. You sit on ‘the can’ at glass top tables with sinks beneath them. Food is served in mini toilets bowls, drinks come in urinals and the soft serve ice cream? Um, kinda doodylike.

I would imagine there would be families that would be turned off by such a crass place. Us? Almost worth a trip to Taiwan in my book.

My favorite part would be the home page on the website. There is a picture of this cute little blue mouse on a piece of cheese with the words ‘shit or food’ in a bubble over his head. Hmmm, intriguing thought

Seriously, aren’t you just a little bit curious about eating here?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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