Tag Archives: food

Time to Cry Tuesday… Mom

Thanksgiving, like every holiday, starts off with the business of lists and recipes, shopping and cleaning and ends up where everything seems to, with the bittersweet memories of those we have lost.

“Umm… Ame, what is up with the ancient can of mandarin oranges and what do they have to do with your mom?”, you ask. Read on my friends. This one is just plain old freakish.

I spent a big chunk of the weekend reading expiration dates and tossing ancient items out of my pantry and fridge. It is really quite embarrassing, but frankly I suck at this piece of domesticity. I usually do it before the holiday visit from my nephew, the expiration date nazi, but sadly he will not be joining this year.

I digress. I had just finished making (not enough) cranberry sauce and was on the phone asking a friend about whether to use canned mandarin oranges in my fresh sauce. My argument in favor of this slimy little canned citrus was nostalgia. You guessed it, my mom always used them. I reached into the pantry and saw the condition of the can, realizing it had slipped through Saturday’s expiration sweep.

But then I saw something so startling that even the most stubborn skeptic could not deny.

IMG_8471

As the word ‘Mom’ left my lips, this is what I saw.

Yeh, I know, crazy, right? (and yes I am aware that this can expired over 5 years ago)

IMG_8470 (1)

So here’s the thing. This is no coincidence. Why the hell would DelMonte stamp MOM on the bottom of a can of (5+ year old) mandarin oranges?

Because, my friends, I really do believe they did not.

Here’s to you, Elaine, you cagey devil. And yes, I get it, I can’t possibly leave out the mandarin oranges.

“She lives on beneath everything I do. Her presence influenced who I was, and her absence influences who I am. Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay.”

– Hope Edelman from Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

4 Comments

Filed under aging, food, holidays, moms, Uncategorized

Donkeys are the new goats

IMG_8840

I want to preface this with the fact that I live in a suburban area known as the North Shore of Long Island. That would be the Nawth Shaw of Long Guyland if you buy into that whole stereotypical dialect thing.

I do not.

This magazine was at the checkout of our local Whole Foods. Modern Farmer? Really? Talk about missing the demographic! There are no farmers in this ‘hood – modern or otherwise. The only thing better than this close-up shot would have been one with a woman dressed to the nines in front of the magazine rack. Keep in mind this particular Whole Foods is across the street from The Miracle Mile, a Rodeo Drive style shopping area.

You’ve heard the expression, “It goes together like donkeys and Manolo Blahniks, right? Of course, everyone has.

At first I thought this was an Onion type magazine. With that Headline: Donkeys, the new goats. And the Redonkulous seal (with an excellent use of hyphenation)

Other wonderful headlines that are a bit more relatable for this zip code:

  • Pot Farming Goes Big
  • How to Grow a Winter Garden (was this the follow-up to the Pot Farming article?)
  • Drink Bitter Booze (while you are Pot Farming?)

I cannot, for the life of me, explain why I did not pick up a copy of this publication. I would like to point out that if you visit their website there is currently an article titled, New Year’s Resolution: Eat More Squirrel in 2015. Yep, that was definitely on my list this year! You?

I quote:

“Locavores, listen up: if you want to eat non-GMO, antiobiotic- and hormone-free, lean, free range, local, healthy meat, you need to look up. Limb chicken, as squirrels are affectionately known in many hunting circles, is arguably better than grassfed beef or organic pork when it comes to planetary health.”

Affectionately, indeed. Limb chicken… I can’t.

And you are in luck, there is a recipe at the end of the article. (no I am not making this up)

I can’t wait for the spring issue!

(FYI, yes, I am pretty sure I am back)

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, blogging, carry a camera, cooking, current events, humor

Hundred Dollar Mushrooms

1526592_10202890692772598_2091951079_n

Actually, that’s misleading. They were on sale for $89, so we bought 3 pounds.

Just kidding.

This big ole bucket of probably 5 grand wortth of ‘shrooms was sitting there just waiting for me to take its picture. Do you think they put them on sale because they were not moving fast enough?

I am unclear about what would make these mushrooms worth that kind of money.

Unless…

Leave a comment

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, food

Poison Ivy Picnic

Hey kids, this looks like a good spot to picnic! Um, Grandma, what does that sign say?

I stumbled upon this scene at the Clearwater Festival this weekend. There was a festival-style food court with picnic tables all over the place. Whatever possessed the adults in this crowd to park here is beyond me. I am thinking it might have been the heat. Mom seems to be sucking down that iced tea like she really means it.

I love how they wrapped the tree in plastic to help avoid the spread of poison ivy. My question is what about the poor schnook that did the wrapping?

Hey kids, next week let’s go to the beach with shark infested waters.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor

Spaghetti Muffins?

No joke, I took this picture at the store located conveniently at the end of our block, Uncle Giuseppe’s Marketplace. Go ahead, click that link and listen to the music on that site. Believe it or not, every time I shop there I am subjected to that! What happened to Beatles Muzak?

Back to the spaghetti muffins, at the economical price of 3.99 each. So what are these? Main course? Side dish? Hockey puck? What do you think the binding agent in these suckers are? And just for kicks, how many points on Weight Watchers? (does WW still use points?)

So, my friends, I showed this picture to Gary who told me they are just called spaghetti muffins, that is not really spaghetti in them? REALLY, hon? What would that be then, twine?

Not going to lie, I was in there again tonight picking up some ingredients and was really tempted to buy him one of these.

Anyone in PW try them yet? Please do tell!

13 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, food, gary, humor

Pre-holiday Musings

I have been out of the basement and out in the world these last few days. Here are a few of my thoughts (scary when I let you see the inside of my head, isn’t it?):

1. Saffron. why is this sold like drugs in a vial and why on earth does it cost almost as much. Yeh, yeh, I know you only need a few threads but seriously, $15.00 for a spice? Do people snort this stuff?

2. Parking lots. Who designs them? And do they have little cameras in their offices just for kicks where they watch people lose their minds trying to park? You will be happy to know I have shed my parking lot rage and have learned to behave myself(ish) – I think the back up camera in the new car may have helped. But I have seen quite a few people with less than stellar behavior these past few days.

3. Turkey. What does a 28 lb. turkey look like when it is walking around? (and have I just ruined everyone’s appetite for the holiday?)

4. Cranberries. What makes them organic and why does that mean they should cost $5.99 a bag?

5. Airports. Why is nothing open at 10:30 at night at LaGuardia? Aren’t we the city that never sleeps?

And last but not least:

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS… why are these up before Thanksgiving!!!

Sorry. that last one is a pet peeve of mine. Not because I am a Jew (hey I don’t yank out the Menorah the second the Halloween candy is gone either), but because I feel the need to savor the moment of one holiday before the next one is out there.

Sorry, but it’s kind of like those people that say the summer is almost over on August 1st.

So folks, my holiday message for you all is to try your best to BE HERE NOW. Where ever that might be. And try to spend at least one day with your glass half full (hopefully with alcohol if you are spending it with family).

Love. Hugs. And a spectacular L-tryptophan induced sleep at the end of the holiday to you all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, holidays

Another Reason to Love NYC

Pak-Bangla-Indian-Italian-seafood

Thanks to my friend Sue, of the ‘why don’t you just start a blog already’ fame, I bring you this photo of one of NYC’s more versatile eateries.

Pak-Bangla-Indian/Italian/Seafood – slash a little bit for everyone. I love the use of hyphens and slashes on this signage. And I particularly love the Psychic sign above it from the establishment next door. It is easy to read your mind about what you are in the mood to eat when we serve just about EVERYTHING.

I wonder if the other side says Chinese-Japanese-Korean/Kosher/Vegetarian.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, New York, New York City, signage