I love this sign. Hey, our grammar sucks but we can hook up a car for $95 bucks and take it where ever your little heart desires.
I am just wondering, is anyone else amused by these things when they see them? I mean, you don’t have to whip out your phone and take a picture or anything. You don’t even have to point it out to anyone. I just want to know if you do come across something like this, do you laugh? Or smile?
Or is it just me?
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera
It seems a day does not go by lately that I do not receive some sort of email notifying me of some fortune that I stand to inherit. I must be on some sort of sucker list. If I did not find them so entertaining it would probably bother me. If my calculations are correct, over the past 6 months I could have received somewhere in the neighborhood of 75 million bucks – that would surely take the edge off!
Today I received the best one yet. How’s this for an opening line:
“We are writing you to know if it’s true that you are DEAD?”
I have to admit, I was intrigued by that one. They had me at ‘are you dead?’ I like their strategic use of caps. If you scan it quickly you see DEAD 3 times with a nice sign off of MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE. Because, you know, my soul will certainly be receiving emails wherever it may go. I mean, don’t think a little detail like being DEAD will stop me from being well connected.
How about this for a line: “All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD or still Alive. Because the MAN’S message brought shock to our minds.” Quite touching if you ask me, grammar not withstanding.
“May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.” (and may that place have Gmail access – Amen.)
Filed under absurdities, humor, magnet for the absurd
A big thank you to Susan M for this great shot from the bathroom at Madison Square Garden. I do so love bathroom messages. Here is one from a stall in the mall and another from The Nitty Gritty in Madison, WI.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, signage
It is beginning to occur to me that perhaps we do not live in the most normal of neighborhoods. I mean, it looks normal. We have neat houses with classic slate roofs and pretty landscaping. Everyone takes pride in their homes and for the most part keeps everything in good repair.
But when I start to think about the condom wrapping of snowmen, the bizarre garbage and the curb side art galleries, it would appear that we are a bit of an eclectic group. Those are all sort of charming, but THIS? The picture at the top of this post was taken at a house with the most bizarre residents. These ‘decorations’ were put up for Christmas but hung around for quite a while. The whole yard was filled with these wacky angels.
Honestly, I am sort of afraid to go past this place at night.
So? Do all neighborhoods have this sort of stuff or is it just us?
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor
Sometimes that is all you need to knock out what ails you. Seriously, 10 days of antibiotics, countless cups of tea and honey, more bowls of chicken soup than I care to think about and I still was not feeling like myself.
It would appear that all I really needed was one night with my 3 girls – the ones who have known me since 6th grade. The same ones who can say one word and set off the kind of laughter that makes my face ache and my sides feel as if they will explode… in a really good way.
Add a few glasses of wine and a crisp morning walk the next day to chase away the time-release hangover. Halfway home from that walk one of them said to me, “you are SO not sick anymore”. And she was right.
Life is hard. Shit happens. Things don’t always go as planned. Illness lingers and stress is ever-present.
So what!
A little fun on the rocks is all any of us truly needs to counter the demons.
Thank you to my O’side girls; who know everything there is to know about me and love me anyway. Who let me lie in their beds and facebook stalk with me on the iPad, laughing until we cry. Who share their clothes, let me eat off their plates, play practical jokes with me and even ‘break’ a guest or two. (hey, every once in a while someone has to be sacrificed for the good of the joke – it’s harmless).
Feeling very fortunate indeed.
Filed under friendship, Time to Cry Tuesdays
A few weeks back this household was struck with a series of annoying bad luck. Nothing all that serious, just a chain of really annoying events (ok and a few that were sort of serious but I won’t share, and thank goodness those have been resolved).
First, Gary got rear-ended on the LIE… in my car, of course. The insurance company was wonderful, we got a rental car and decided to spring for the $16/day upgrade to an SUV since it was in the midst of Snowmageddon ’11. All is well and good, it snows on top of snow and we get in the groove of shoveling every week; bitching and moaning like the rest of the world. Until…
We have completed the big dig out and Gary asks me for the keys to the rental car so he can move it into the street to brush off the snow.
I look everywhere… pockets, bags, bathrooms, nooks and crannies.
No key.
It becomes quite obvious that we have no choice but to call the rental company and get the second set.
News Flash: rental cars companies do NOT keep a second set. They call a locksmith for you. But of course on this day after a blizzard I am informed that the locksmith is snowed in. “With all due respect”, I told the woman at the rental place, “I am a 50-something Jewish woman on the North Shore of Long Island and I was able to dig out, what kind of wussy is this locksmith that he is… ahem… ‘snowed in’.”
He showed up at 4.
And $300 later we had a new key.
Fast forward to today. After a few days of record high temps the snow is melting almost as fast as it came down. And while I was out on the lawn (affectionately named ‘doody lane’ for the path we shoveled for the dog) picking up said doody, I spotted a glint out to the corner of my eye.
Yes folks, the original rental car key. As I suspected, it must have fallen out my pocket, was snowed upon and shoveled onto the mountain on the side of the driveway. Yes, other people have told me I have a Lucy and Ethel sort of life.
I thought about giving it back but decided that a shadow box frame was worth a $300 laugh in the whole of life.
Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor
My neighbors are known for exceptionally interesting garbage. I might be the only one in the neighborhood to take notice, but the quality is not lost on me. If you are not a regular reader, click the links to see the Kandinsky garbage, the headless garbage, a prehistoric sentry and the funniest directions ever.
I know, I told you! Our garbage kicks ass!
Today I came across the scene above. I might be wrong about this being garbage. It might actually be a front yard gallery of sorts. Note the decided placement of the twig in front of the little painting. I found the whole scene simply delightful.
Ok, maybe I need to get out more.
Filed under art, carry a camera, garbage
Should this concern me? Would @DisasterAlerts be following my tweets in the hopes of finding out about a disaster they could alert people to? Or am I perceived on twitter as one of those ghoulies that needs to know about disasters in realtime?
Either way, not so flattering.
Filed under absurdities, twitter
Every year for as long as I can remember my dad has always sent me flowers on Valentine’s Day. No matter where I lived, or with who, he always made sure that on February 14th my doorbell would ring and a beautiful bouquet of flowers would be delivered to remind me that I would always be his little girl.
As soon as my daughter was old enough to understand, she too, was the recipient of her Zaidie’s special Valentine’s flowers. Daughter #2 – my sister-in-law, was on his list as well. And of course he would never forget my mom. Simply put, there will always be flowers for all his girls.
This year the flowers came as I was running out to a meeting. I unwrapped them, looked at the card and called dad as soon as I could to thank him. I could not help but think how special this constant is. How the little things in life are the ones that form the memories you will never forget. Even though we know they will be coming, it is always so special to receive them.
This post could have been a Time to Cry (again) Thursday if the florist with the hearing problem did not add this humorous twist.
It was not until this morning as I was making coffee that I looked more closely at the card:
To my doctor who can do everything. Luv ya, Dad.
I can’t help but wonder if his doctor got flowers addressed to me.
Filed under absurdities, family, humor
Danny at 8 years-old, maybe
Scene: Sitting in a client meeting in the middle of an extremely busy (out of the basement) day.
Phone rings.
Quick glance and my son’s number comes up. I excuse myself for a moment and explain I am concerned as he rarely calls. Texts, sure, but call… this could be serious.
Me: Hey man, everything ok?
Danny: Yeh, sure.
Me: Wassup.
Danny: Just called to say Happy Valentine’s Day.
Time to Cry Tuesday… enough said.
Filed under danny, Time to Cry Tuesdays
i could cry but i don't have time 
