It seems a day does not go by lately that I do not receive some sort of email notifying me of some fortune that I stand to inherit. I must be on some sort of sucker list. If I did not find them so entertaining it would probably bother me. If my calculations are correct, over the past 6 months I could have received somewhere in the neighborhood of 75 million bucks – that would surely take the edge off!
Today I received the best one yet. How’s this for an opening line:
“We are writing you to know if it’s true that you are DEAD?”
I have to admit, I was intrigued by that one. They had me at ‘are you dead?’ I like their strategic use of caps. If you scan it quickly you see DEAD 3 times with a nice sign off of MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE. Because, you know, my soul will certainly be receiving emails wherever it may go. I mean, don’t think a little detail like being DEAD will stop me from being well connected.
How about this for a line: “All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD or still Alive. Because the MAN’S message brought shock to our minds.” Quite touching if you ask me, grammar not withstanding.
“May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.” (and may that place have Gmail access – Amen.)