If you have ever visited one of the many communities in South Florida, this will not surprise you. The level of detail is astounding.
You have to believe that this was not written in the spirit of prevention. I would like to know how many poor people got locked in there before this very detailed set of directions was drafted.
I keep envisioning the condo association from Seinfeld spending the better portion of a month drafting this sucker.
The scary thing about this is that I am surely the most likely person to get locked in there. In fact, this was the third time I had thrown out the garbage and the only reason I noticed the sign was because my dad told me to take my cell phone.
If you are new here, I have been known to post about garbage now and then (define now and then). Ok, so maybe there is a little more spring in my step when I go out to walk in the AM on a garbage day. What can I say, I have very creative neighbors.
Today, my daughter came off the train from work with a story about the boxes of random stuff that has been in her office for weeks. She has been thinking to herself, “Hey, why have I not taken a picture of this garbage that appears to have a penis sticking out of the top of the box.” Then she asked a co-worker, why have we not talked about that garbage over there and the friend replied, “Oh, you mean the penis garbage?”.
She then proceeded to make everyone sit at her desk so they could get a good view of said penis garbage.
Go head, look at that picture and tell me you don’t see the penis. What? You are on a mobile. Well then let me help you. Here is a close up.
Oh the little things we do to amuse ourselves during the day.
No lie. This baby was lying at the curb down the block from my house today. If you are a regular reader, you know I have an affection for things left at the curb. I am not sure if my neighborhood is simply ripe with refuse, or if all neighborhoods are like this but people just don’t notice. Or they notice but don’t document. My garbage posting has gotten to a point where I am thinking of starting a garbage blog. Thoughts?
So this item was found outside a house that has new residents. The previous homeowners predate my family and we have been here 24 years (how can that be, this was my starter house). I am thinking that I am falling in love with these new neighbors before I have even met them.
If you are having trouble making out what this is, it would be a very large metal sculpture of a giraffe; one that looks as if it was hit by a car. This sucker was huge. I would say certainly the size of an actual baby giraffe. Here is a shot of just the face. I simply love the eyelash detail.
So, my dear readers, I put this question out to you, was this an item that the new owners found in the house, or was this something they moved with and then decided they no longer wanted? Or perhaps they had all intentions of using it as a lawn ornament but the movers destroyed it. It’s been a while since we took a poll, so let’s put it out there. All you lurkers who don’t like to comment, go ahead and vote, it’s anonymous.
If you are a regular reader you know my unhealthy obsession fascination with other people’s garbage. I am not sure if it is my neighborhood or the fact that I walk every morning before the garbage is picked up, but I have found some of the most amazing things sitting by the curb. I need to do a garbage round-up post soon so you can see what I mean.
Today I came across this gem. Monday is not a garbage day in my neighborhood. The last pick-up was Saturday. Which means that these people have left this here in hopes that tomorrow’s collection day will bring them some luck. Is it an undocumented phenomenon that it is literally impossible to throw out a garbage can? Notice the contents are gone but the can remains; even with a clearly marked note on the can. Are they not allowed to take the can or is it a big FU for not tipping at the holidays?
I have tried to do this before. It is not easy to get these guys to take the can. And this one seems to be in great shape, other than being sans lid which I am guessing is what is rendering it useless in the land of cats and raccoons.
I suggest first making a more elaborate sign, maybe one with some humor to catch their attention. Or maybe standing outside when the truck comes and begging. Or perhaps taping a little envelope to the signage with some incentive in it and a clearly marked dollar sign.
I know, maybe not every one feels this way. But if you walked early in the AM you might agree with me. The time is so serene. Nothing has quite happened yet that could ruin a day. It is early morn and you are walking down the street with that special brand of stillness only the beginning of the day can bring. The air is fresh, the sky is just waking up, the birds are singing. And then, right there in front of you, on the curb…
the ultimate display of refuse.
Today did not disappoint. The half mannequin would have been enough. But the way that clementine crate was hanging off of her? That? That was true art.
Would it amuse you to know that as I was crouching on his lawn to take this shot, tethered to the new puppy, the owner of this house pulled into his driveway?
The key to these situations is to never turn around and have eye contact.
Well, folks, I have some sad news. My favorite garbage neighbors are moving! I rounded the corner towards their house this morning only to find this moving truck parked at the curb. This could explain why they had such intriguing trash… they were purging.
Which leaves me to wonder about all the stuff I have been throwing out since the storm (12 lawn and garbage bags and counting… just from my office – no lie). I don’t believe I have anything all that interesting coming out of here. This leads me to believe that I may not be as interesting as I think I am.
In respect for this solemn occasion I am posting links to the posts about this wonderful family’s garbage. These guys will surely be a tough act to follow. Since we haven’t had a poll here in a while, below these links you can vote for your favorite.