Tag Archives: penis

Chip Off the Old Garbage

If you are new here, I have been known to post about garbage now and then (define now and then). Ok, so maybe there is a little more spring in my step when I go out to walk in the AM on a garbage day. What can I say, I have very creative neighbors.

Today, my daughter came off the train from work with a story about the boxes of random stuff that has been in her office for weeks. She has been thinking to herself, “Hey, why have I not taken a picture of this garbage that appears to have a penis sticking out of the top of the box.” Then she asked a co-worker, why have we not talked about that garbage over there and the friend replied, “Oh, you mean the penis garbage?”.

No lie.

She then proceeded to make everyone sit at her desk so they could get a good view of said penis garbage.

Go head, look at that picture and tell me you don’t see the penis. What? You are on a mobile. Well then let me help you. Here is a close up.

Oh the little things we do to amuse ourselves during the day.

Do all families behave this way?

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Filed under absurdities, garbage, humor, Jana

A bouquet of what?!

Could not resist posting this. Here are today’s top search terms to find this blog:

That’s right kids, not one listing, but two for bouquet of penis! Not sure how they got here but if you are the people who keyed that in might I direct you to this lovely option for a penis lollipop bouquet (in pretty colors, I might add).

Wendy had the best comment when I sent her this today:

“My favorite is Bouquet of Penis. Wondering if it’s an air freshener or a decorative item…”

She has a point there. Perhaps a poll is in order. I am a little poll happy this week.

A bit concerning were the searches for kid penis and women with penises. Seriously, think about what people are looking for out there and it will send a chill up your spine.

I am thinking I may need to take myself off the mom bloggers lists.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
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Filed under absurdities, polls, search engine terms, searches

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 11)

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I know, it’s been awhile since I have done one of these. This one is for Kate, who told me last night these are her faves. Here’s the drill for you new comers to the house of I Could Cry. These are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. hannukah pap smear I am still mildly outraged by this (while being slightly amused at the absurdity). And I suppose many others are as well, since it is the number one search term this past week.

2. girl fights were boobs pop out Ah, the ever famous girl fight post, and of course its followup, Vol. 2. Yeh, this one is a big hit. And of course the top search term that lands them here always has a boob popping out. Yes friends, not only to the guys want to see a girl fight, they are always hoping for a boob to pop out. Simple physics, I suppose.

3. tampon games Again, tampon search terms are popular here. I write about them quite a bit. I linked to tampon bowling this time because besides tampon crafts, this is my favorite.

4. slippers made maxi pads What better follow-up to tampon crafts than the ever famous maxi pad slippers. Seriously folks, there is really no need to go past the corner drug store for your holiday shopping this year.

5. castrated I had to think about this one for a minute until I remembered the mannequins that I caught with their pants down at the mall.

6. dick in the box No, I am sorry, that would be a Big Box of Shut the Hell Up!

7. big penis posting pictures Ah. National Penis Day – how will you celebrate it? Yes, finally the penis has the day it was due.

8. sports, men, cheez-its crackers Think about that, this statement is almost a complete sentence.

9. how to make my pennis mussels strong Wow, you better have a strong ‘pennis’ if those are your spelling skills, pal.

10. humor and leashes I am thinking the kid in this post does not find this all that funny.

And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the show. Now go eat some turkey and be nice to your family.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, search engine terms

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 10)

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Better late than never. If you are a regular reader, you know the drill. If not, these are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. big french penis Yeh, well I suppose there is nothing quite like a big french penis. Isn’t it always the accent that always gets you.

2. phone penis bona hmm, would this be like a REALLY smart phone that doubles as a vibrator?

3. is there really a penis day in Japan? The short answer is yes. The long answer can be found in the comments. For those who are wondering why there are so many search terms with penis in them, it is obvious you have not been reading. I do not set out to write about them so often, they just come up.

4. infant farts I wrote about fart pads but I don’t think you would need them for infants. Wouldn’t the diaper serve the same purpose?

5. manorexic catalogue Oh great, now there is a catalogue that perpetuates this behavior? I bet you could buy one of these there.

6. poop Plain and simple. Nothing like a little poop search.

7. picture of fat guys crying That would be one sad and pathetic sight.

8. dead mouse in dog food Ok, so it would appear this has happened to other people, how comforting.

9. reborning wtf Seriously, that’s what I said!

10. big butt or testicles mouse This one? I am just really concerned about the individual that strung those words together. And I am not really sure they found what they were looking for.

That’s it folks. Stay tuned next month for some more fun and games with search words.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, search engine terms

Pii Pii for the Wii? No way!

Yes way. Thanks to a client, this was brought to my attention (yes, my clients are as warped as I am). The Japanese, being big fans of both penises and toilets, have developed a peeing game for the Wii.

Girls strap on the belt harness and insert the Wiimote to play the game.

Here are some of my favorite product features (with commentary, of course) from the thinkgeek post about this product:

• Video Game for Nintendo Wii Provides a Virtual Peeing Experience (the perfect gift for the girl who has everything, including a bad case of penis envy)

• Amazing Realistic Pee Fluid Dynamics (you have to watch the video to fully appreciate this. BTW this girl really sucks at this game)

• Over 100 different peeing environments with multiple toilet and urinal styles (lovely feature)

Oh, and this one I love:

• Up to two players can compete with dueling pee streams (sword fights for girls, how inclusive!)

The text on the packaging boasts that this product ‘promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing’. Funny, I have always told my daughter that the only thing that she could not do that boys could was pee standing up. 

I guess those days are over and we have finally reached true equality. Now we can pee on the damn glass ceiling if we want to.

You go girls!

(as an aside, today someone referred to me as ‘the diva of the absurd and silly’. I am happy to carry that title proudly)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, games, humor, marketing, products, trends

All the Other Vegetables Were Jealous (vol. 2)

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I am always amused at the comedic way Mother Nature toys with us in the produce section. 

While frantically shopping for the Passover Seder in what felt like an episode of Supermarket Sweep, I ran into a dear friend near the broccoli. She was asking what I used for the bitter herbs on my seder plate and I told her that I was a fan of fresh horse radish. As she reached into the pile and pulled out this beauty we could not help but notice its striking resemblance to… 

well, I don’t think I need to spell this one out, do I? No wonder I am a fan, right?

This past summer I wrote about a certain cucumber who I am sure would be quite jealous of the way this horse radish was being held.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, gardening, humor, humor

Nothing funnier than a flying penis (I am an infant)

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Filed under humor