Tag Archives: dead mouse

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 10)

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Better late than never. If you are a regular reader, you know the drill. If not, these are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. big french penis Yeh, well I suppose there is nothing quite like a big french penis. Isn’t it always the accent that always gets you.

2. phone penis bona hmm, would this be like a REALLY smart phone that doubles as a vibrator?

3. is there really a penis day in Japan? The short answer is yes. The long answer can be found in the comments. For those who are wondering why there are so many search terms with penis in them, it is obvious you have not been reading. I do not set out to write about them so often, they just come up.

4. infant farts I wrote about fart pads but I don’t think you would need them for infants. Wouldn’t the diaper serve the same purpose?

5. manorexic catalogue Oh great, now there is a catalogue that perpetuates this behavior? I bet you could buy one of these there.

6. poop Plain and simple. Nothing like a little poop search.

7. picture of fat guys crying That would be one sad and pathetic sight.

8. dead mouse in dog food Ok, so it would appear this has happened to other people, how comforting.

9. reborning wtf Seriously, that’s what I said!

10. big butt or testicles mouse This one? I am just really concerned about the individual that strung those words together. And I am not really sure they found what they were looking for.

That’s it folks. Stay tuned next month for some more fun and games with search words.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, search engine terms

Would you like a side of mouse with that?

Ewww. EWWWWWW! EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!

This is how my day started. Lying in bed I actually heard the dog’s stomach rumbling. That would be the same dog that Danny forgot to feed last night. Feeling bad for her I got up, brushed my teeth and went downstairs to feed her.

Before I even made coffee!! (I am such a good mother)

Picture this: 

1. Open door to garage.

2. Lift (unsecured lid) off the ‘rodent-proof’ dog food container. 

3. Reach for a really big scoopful of dog food cuz I felt bad for the starving dog.

That is when it happened. I lifted up the cute dog-faced blue scooper filled with dog food and…

Dead Mouse with Feet to the Skystuck into the kibble – head first mind you – with his little mouse butt and rigamortis tail and feet jutting out, was the deadest mouse I had ever seen. Of course I threw the scooper back into the container but was not exactly sure that the mouse landed back in there.

(I would like make a side comment that I am not your typical girly girl. Bugs do not bother me. Live rodents are a nuisance but I don’t freak when I see them. Slugs, hmmm, I hate these too. If you are a long time reader you will remember the last time I was really grossed out by something).

So I did what any self respecting, independent, fearless, i-can-handle-anything (but a dead mouse in the dog food) type woman would do. I stormed upstairs, woke Gary out of a dead sleep and demanded that he de-mouse the garage immediately. His protestations were short-lived as he could see I was not going to wait another minute. (yes, living with me IS paradise).

I will not describe his de-mousing outfit because that would make me seem ungrateful for the fact that he not only threw out the food AND the mouse but washed the container. This was because he ascertained that we had us, in fact, some ‘fresh mouse’ as there were droppings in there. This sucker had one last big ole meal, took a crap or two and expired in the depths of the kibble.

The fact that he wanted to still feed the food to the dog was a bit concerning, but again, I don’t want to criticize and appear ungrateful.

For now on when we feed the dog, the desire to ask, ‘Do you want a side of mouse with that?’ will be very tempting.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

add to del.icio.us : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : Digg it : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine :  :  : TailRank : post to facebook

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Filed under absurdities, gary, homeowner, humor, pets