Would you like a side of mouse with that?

Ewww. EWWWWWW! EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!

This is how my day started. Lying in bed I actually heard the dog’s stomach rumbling. That would be the same dog that Danny forgot to feed last night. Feeling bad for her I got up, brushed my teeth and went downstairs to feed her.

Before I even made coffee!! (I am such a good mother)

Picture this: 

1. Open door to garage.

2. Lift (unsecured lid) off the ‘rodent-proof’ dog food container. 

3. Reach for a really big scoopful of dog food cuz I felt bad for the starving dog.

That is when it happened. I lifted up the cute dog-faced blue scooper filled with dog food and…

Dead Mouse with Feet to the Skystuck into the kibble – head first mind you – with his little mouse butt and rigamortis tail and feet jutting out, was the deadest mouse I had ever seen. Of course I threw the scooper back into the container but was not exactly sure that the mouse landed back in there.

(I would like make a side comment that I am not your typical girly girl. Bugs do not bother me. Live rodents are a nuisance but I don’t freak when I see them. Slugs, hmmm, I hate these too. If you are a long time reader you will remember the last time I was really grossed out by something).

So I did what any self respecting, independent, fearless, i-can-handle-anything (but a dead mouse in the dog food) type woman would do. I stormed upstairs, woke Gary out of a dead sleep and demanded that he de-mouse the garage immediately. His protestations were short-lived as he could see I was not going to wait another minute. (yes, living with me IS paradise).

I will not describe his de-mousing outfit because that would make me seem ungrateful for the fact that he not only threw out the food AND the mouse but washed the container. This was because he ascertained that we had us, in fact, some ‘fresh mouse’ as there were droppings in there. This sucker had one last big ole meal, took a crap or two and expired in the depths of the kibble.

The fact that he wanted to still feed the food to the dog was a bit concerning, but again, I don’t want to criticize and appear ungrateful.

For now on when we feed the dog, the desire to ask, ‘Do you want a side of mouse with that?’ will be very tempting.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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8 Comments

Filed under absurdities, gary, homeowner, humor, pets

8 responses to “Would you like a side of mouse with that?

  1. You did not have a mouse. You have mice. For every mouse you see, there are ten mice you don’t see, and unless you saw a big pair of mouse testicles you have more mice.

  2. ellen

    Mel can come and live in my house..all we have are ants..mel can eat all the dog food that Penny refuses to eat..why? because her boyfriend ALan has spoiled her with people food and the Queen won’t eat all the GOURMET food that incidently is stored in PLASTIC>>SHUT TIGHT or has to be in the fridge..

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  5. Joe

    I had the same thing happen to me this morning. (Actually, I was the one still in bed)
    Although it would not seem that likely, I am positive, due to the state of the mouse body (died of some trauma injury), he came with the dog food. IAMS, 40LB large breed (green bag)
    First of all, this is disgusting. Was this mouse poisoned, and my dog could be subjected to it? Quality control!! WTF?
    Our animals deserve better than this, and I find this extremely unacceptable. I will be talking to IAMS.

  6. Joe… ew EW EWWWWW!

    I am pretty sure our little guy did not come in the bag as we left the container cover a jar.

    I agree that the idea that your poor ‘accident victim’ came in a sealed bag is not acceptable. Unfortunately, as with all mass production…

    mouse happens.

    I would surely pursue this as I am sure Iams would rather hear it directly from a consumer than have it pop up in a social media scan (if they are monitoring, which they surely SHOULD be)

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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