Well, folks, I have some sad news. My favorite garbage neighbors are moving! I rounded the corner towards their house this morning only to find this moving truck parked at the curb. This could explain why they had such intriguing trash… they were purging.
Which leaves me to wonder about all the stuff I have been throwing out since the storm (12 lawn and garbage bags and counting… just from my office – no lie). I don’t believe I have anything all that interesting coming out of here. This leads me to believe that I may not be as interesting as I think I am.
In respect for this solemn occasion I am posting links to the posts about this wonderful family’s garbage. These guys will surely be a tough act to follow. Since we haven’t had a poll here in a while, below these links you can vote for your favorite.
Could not resist posting this. Here are today’s top search terms to find this blog:
That’s right kids, not one listing, but two for bouquet of penis! Not sure how they got here but if you are the people who keyed that in might I direct you to this lovely option for a penis lollipop bouquet(in pretty colors, I might add).
Wendy had the best comment when I sent her this today:
“My favorite is Bouquet of Penis. Wondering if it’s an air freshener or a decorative item…”
She has a point there. Perhaps a poll is in order. I am a little poll happy this week.
A bit concerning were the searches for kid penis and women with penises. Seriously, think about what people are looking for out there and it will send a chill up your spine.
I am thinking I may need to take myself off the mom bloggers lists.
I am sure it is becoming obvious to most of you that the additional calorie and alcohol content of my long weekend has left me too lazy to come up with anything of real value to write about. So today I will bring you some interesting answers to the ‘other’ section of yesterday’s poll . To refresh your memories these refer to Gary’s ingenious clementine peel.
The answers people added were:
Carmen Miranda’s Bra(very nice and creative – not sure about the single strap though)
a pocso, womens brest… (um, what the hell?)
opera glasses (creative)
Snuffleupagus (nice, in celebration of Sesame Street 40th anniversary)
sunshades for someone with a long nose (ok, a stretch but maybe)
and this one which is a bit concerning and of course my fave
woman w/ a vertical C-section scar (thank goodness mine was horizontal, I would hate to look like this!)
No I did not make this up. Another famous product from my travels. Should have been in the same aisle as the Believe in God Instantly Breath Spray but it was not. Unfortunate missed opportunity in merchandising in my opinion.
Imagine this one at the breakfast table:
Morning honey, do you want butter or jam on your Jesus?
I am not sure what makes people come up with products like this. Do you think it disrespectful, evangelical or kinda cool. It’s polling time folks. For those on email, jump over to the blog online and cast your vote. For all you non commenting lurkers out there (which would be most of you) don’t worry, the voting is anonymous. This is between you and your maker, k?
A few weeks ago I posted about the Man Bra. It was one of the many absurdities I have come across lately. At the end of that post I asked my readers to send me their best shot at the most absurd thing they have seen. I received quite a few excellent options. As promised, here are the choices. At the end of this post there will be a poll. I urge you all to vote. Why? I don’t know. Because it’s fun, maybe. If you are not the commenting type (which most of you aren’t) that is fine. But the voting is easy. C’mon, don’t be such a drag. Humor me. I mean here I am typing away every night to entertain, it’s the least you an do for me. (note to self: find out when Nana started channeling guilt through me)
1. Men’s Butt Lifting Underwear.
Submitted by Jamie of blonde mom blog. I guess this would be the equivalent of the push-up bra for women, right? Buy a pair of these and no more muffin top baby. You can put these suckers on and you are good to go, sans love handles!
2. Man Tries to Pay Bill With Spider Drawing
Submitted by Mel via her mom Judy. You can see the entire exchange at news9msn, but the abbreviated version is some guy claimed to not have any money and tried to pay a bill for 233.95 with the drawing below. He also claimed to be time traveling at one point as was unable to respond until he got back.
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.
3. Men In Tutus
Submitted by none other than my BBFF Liz of Flashfree. This is a runway shot from Fashion week. Notice how happy this guy is. I don’t think they are paying him enough. Can’t wait to see that page in the NYT Sunday Styles section where they show all the people on the street wearing the same styles. What is that page called? You can see all the other ridiculous styles at bestweekever.tv
4. Schwetty Balls
Submitted by my dear friend Cath who knows I could never resist a good set of Schwetty Balls. I know what you are thinking, how could I hold out all the way to number 4 for this sophomoric Amyesque choice? I love all the copy on this ad, but my absolute favorite line is “Get your hands on some Schwetty Balls this Holiday Season”. How can you resist a line like that? Feel free to jump on over to Phoenix Sports Promos and tell them I sent you. When they say ‘who?’ they will really mean, ‘oh Amy, we adore her and thank her for the referral’. (hint: if Phoenix is doing their job out there monitoring the internet like Callahead was maybe I can get a free case of these. BTW, still waiting for the BMW)
5. Poodle abuse or do you think she digs this?
This one I found from my new Twitter friend @Dana_Willhoit. Dana tweeted this link the first day I started following her. Gotta love this. Check out Creative Grooming‘s site for more great shots. Oh, I love the Ninja turtle the best because when Danny was in nursery school and they asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he said ‘A Ninja Turtle’. Anyone with a good tip on a college with a Ninja Turtle major, please let us know as we are starting our search soon.
Ok, Now for the poll. (jeez this is a long post!) Please vote!
I don’t know how I ever watched a debate without Twitter. (have I said that before?) Today I have a little poll I thought would be kind of fun. The screen grab below is a montage of some of my favorite tweets on the Plumber stream that popped up after about the 5th mention of good ol Joe (BTW, he has no plumber’s license).
Now all you lurkers, let’s show a little love and cast your vote. After all it is your responsibility as a citizen of the couldcryosphere. And email subscribers (you know who you are) you are going to have to jump onto the blog to cast your votes. C’mon, this will make some tweeters out there all sorts of happy. I don’t even know any of these guys… yet. So cast your vote below and let your voice be heard. Oh and don’t forget to check out the t-shirts and stuff.
In light of the battle between Aretha Franklin and Tina Turner over the royal title of Queen, I have decided to do a little poll of my own. Please use the poll above to place your vote.
In case you were preoccupied with silly news stories like the Dow dropping like a rock or Sarah Palin’s latest legal woes, it would appear that Aretha is quite put off.
In February, Beyonce introduced Tina at the Grammy’s as the queen. Aretha? Not so happy!
Tina’s comment, “She’s the queen of soul, and I’m the queen of rock ‘n’ roll. There were so many kings and queens there that night. Her ego must be so big to think she was the only one.” She joked, “That’s how queens are!”
Aretha’s comment in USA Today:
“I have always appreciated what Tina Turner has to offer and had quietly cheered her on after Ike and her subsequent success. However, with respect to her statement concerning my ego, clearly she was talking about herself as she described herself as the ‘Queen of Rock’ and saying ‘that’s what Queens do’ — particularly since she does not have a clue as to who I am in view of the fact that we have never met.”
That, my friends is the Diva’s equivalent of ‘I know you are but what am I?” Um, yeh right. Well ladies, let’s be honest. Who really gives a flying…
Well, let’s find out. Please vote above. And send this to all your friends. Perhaps we can solve this ourselves. A reminder, for those who are on email subscriptions and RSS feeds, you will have to visit the site to vote (come on, don’t be so friggin’ lazy, this is important)
Ok, everyone. Since Jana claimed to be more interesting than Danny in the comments section of my last post, she is proving it by taking part in our first poll experiment. After waiting many, many weeks Jana’s custom Nikes have arrived. They are cool, aren’t they? And tiny I might add… size 6.
She looks a bit like the Mona Lisa in this shot, doesn’t she? Well, she would if that uptight bee-otch – Mona not Jana – would have really cracked a good smile and showed off those beautiful teeth that her parents spent all that money on braces for.
Wait, did I just call the Mona Lisa an uptight bee-otch and did I claim she wore braces? I am really losing it.
This is a screen shot from a video chat session. She wanted us to help her decide. Note how happy Danny looks in the bottom screen. Frankly I think he is pissed about being labeled less interesting.
I just love this, don’t you? My kid is halfway across the country and we can do this kind of thing. Very cool indeed.
I expect lots of voting here everyone. That means all of you who don’t like to comment. I see the stats people, I know you are visiting!
And all of you who receive this by email, you lazy slugs are going to have to go directly to the blog to vote. Janny-girl, you better have all your friends vote so we don’t look foolish here, ok?
Come on everyone! Stop being so non-participatory for G-d’s sake. This is an interactive medium.