Tag Archives: shopping

Babushka Lip Gloss and The Impulse Buy

I found these at the counter at Bed Bath and Beyond. They were sitting at the checkout in the coveted impulse buy spot by the cash register. This is the spot where they put those items that you just can’t resist. Or… this item.

I am convinced that the buyer saw these and told their assistant, “oh, these are kind of kitch, order 10”, meaning pieces and the assistant accidentally ordered 10 cases. That is when the impulse buy spot becomes the we are desperate to move these babies spot.

When I was in HS I worked at a drug store chain and this exact thing happened with a crazy product called Top Coverage. Check it out.

Yes, kiddies, this product claims to be the hair loss concealer that ‘erases bald spots’. Top Coverage is easy to use: just spray on the thinning area, bald spot will disappear instantly. You can choose black, brown, light brown or gray to match your hair color.

Or not.

In actuality it is spray paint for your bald spot. I think it probably worked better for the comb over guys.

After many laughs at the 6 cases vs. 6 pieces fiasco we used this stuff to spray paint doors, make signs, you name it.

Oh the wonderful world of retail!

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Prehistoric Daughter

Being a family of women who are not known for our love of shopping, Jana and I try to do little things along the way to entertain ourselves.

As we were walking through Century 21 (the discount store, not the realtor for those who were confused last week), we came across a rack of fur jackets and dresses. As I was snapping away, my dear, sweet, thoughtful daughter uttered the words every blog mother dreams of, “Do you want me to try this on so you can get a shot of it?”

Being the coy blogger and considerate mother that I am, I asked, “Do you mind if I do a post on this?” Her response? “When I offer to do something like this it is understood that you want to blog about it.”

Damn I love that kid.

We have always held to the idea that women are slaves to fashion and will wear just about anything that the fashion gods tell them is chic. This dress was no exception, until Jana tried it on. She said, “Hey, I get why people would want to wear this. It is soft and warm.”

This style has a certain prehistoric charm to it, don’t you think?

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Fashionotsa

That would not be fashion nazi. I am a fashioNOTsa.

Or why I suck at shopping.

I know, I am a Jewish girl from Long Island and therefore it is expected that I love to shop. But I don’t. I hate it AND I suck at it. Perhaps I should explore my true lineage.

But sometimes you just need stuff. So after a lovely meeting this morning and a surprise lunch with Gary (because I was on the 59th Street bridge and had to pee so badly I had to stop at his office), seeing that I had no deadlines tomorrow, I ventured out into the consumer jungle.

Did I mention I hate this worse than going to the dentist? At least there I can get sweet air. These are the 5 reasons why:

  1. The woman in the next dressing room at Lord & Taylor spent a solid 15 minutes on the phone with one of her son’s teachers and for the life of me I could not imagine how she kept trying on clothes without ever shutting up. All I can surmise was that her son is screwed from her micromanagement and someone should tell her that talking on the phone and trying on clothing does not constitute multi-tasking.
  2. I need to see the dermatologist as soon as humanly possible because the lighting in every dressing room made me see that I must have no less than 5 horrible derm conditions. Fluorescent lighting and dressing rooms: who is responsible?
  3. There are no circumstances in which a 3 way mirror is OK.
  4. Clothes on. Clothes off. Repeat. How can this be fun? Well, I know how but this is the wrong context.
  5. I always have to pee and the bathrooms are always in a different zip code than the women’s clothing. Why is that?

The only funny part of today was the cashier at Century 21. She had a very heavy accent and as she checked me out this was our conversation:

She: Your zin cone?

Me: (no idea what that means) Um, no thanks (afraid to agree to anything in fear it might be hard to undo).

She: No, no, no… your zin cone?!

Me: Sorry, not getting what that is.

She: Zin cone. Zin cone. Zin cone! (as if saying it 3 times will make me understand)

Me: (starting to get the giggles and wishing I had a witness) I am so sorry but I have NO idea what you are saying. Maybe you want to write it down.

She: Zin cone. You know… town. 1-1-something-something-something (she loves to repeat herself).

Me: OH! YOU MEAN ZIP CODE.

At this point I simply looked around for the camera and then split.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, shopping

Miss Friday

I wonder why I don’t go to the flea markets every weekend.

This pic was taken at a pretty seedy outdoor market in Chelsea where most of the stuff looked like it came out of the back of my parents garage. Again, this is an item I wish I had purchased. This would look great in the new office and who doesn’t want a headless secretary. Oh wait, people want a secretary that gives good head… never mind. (cheap, I know)

I particularly like the way she has her hand on her hip with an air of WTH do you want attitude. Take a look at the red and blue buttons in front of the hand. Do you think those are panic buttons? And the name plaque on her desk is the best. Oh how I covet this little tinny item.

I need to go back to this place and see if they still have her. She really is perfect. And honestly, who else would want this besides me?

 

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Flea Market Cutie

I spent the afternoon at the Chelsea flea markets last Sunday and I almost got whiplash trying to capture all the bizarre images of the day. This particular image spoke to me on so many levels. There she was… the quintessential 1950s paper doll, posing Carol Merill style next to a treasure trove of old photos. I love her foundation garment (hey, my first job out of art school was with Maidenform – that is what you call any type of underwear).

What struck me about this shot and the angle in which I captured it, were the categories of images the vendor had chosen to feature. Some are not that easy to read, or are covered up, so I will list them here:

  • Interiors
  • Post-Mortem: Death, Funeral, Memorial
  • Costumes
  • Holidays, Weddings
  • Parades
  • Disasters/Accidents
  • Fishing

Some commentary (what, you thought this would go without my thoughts?)

Ok, I can see why you would collect period interiors. I am sure there is a market for that. And costumes, ok, that makes sense. Holidays, I get that and I suppose throwing weddings in with them goes with the celebration theme. Parades, yeh, that could have an appeal on some level. And fishing? Well I suppose if the images were of some big fish there would be those lovers of the sport who might find these interesting.

But Post-Mortem?! I shudder to think who would want to purchase these. Why on earth did I not think to browse through these photos to see what the hell was in there that illustrated death, funeral and memorial? And Disasters/Accidents (love the slash), this was probably the pay dirt of the bizarre.

Now I HAVE to go back and check these out. And I am pretty sure I will have to buy some of them. Stay tuned, this could surely have a great follow-up post in the coming weeks.

Ok, so other people actually SHOP when they go to these things. Me? Not so interested in owning other people’s junk, I just like to photograph it.

 

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Oh My Cherry?

Seriously, Zara? You really named your perfume ‘oh my cherry’ (nice typography BTW). Gotta admit it was pretty ballsy in a … well you know, cherry sort of way.

This was perched at the counter when I went to pay yesterday. I even commented to the cashier. “Really?!”, I said. “I know, right?” was her response. She said the employees were all surprised, but people love it.

Hey, who could pass this up? What a great gift item. Sort of a stocking stuffer, if you will.

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Dangerous Do Not Eat

Today I went shopping. I hate shopping. No seriously, I loathe the act of shopping. I am simply missing the gene that makes this activity fun. It is not that I don’t like to have new things, I just really don’t like looking for them. Trying them on… I like that even less.

Let’s face it, the 3-way mirror is simply not our friend. It is bad enough to see the parts of you that are in full view, but to check yourself out under florescent lights from every angle… yikes.

As I was browsing through the racks, I came across this item. Stapled to the inside of a garment was one of those little packs of Silicagel with the words ‘DANGEROUS DO NOT EAT’ printed on it.

Funny, but of all the things I have thought to do with that silly little pack of silicagel, tearing it open and pouring it into my mouth just wasn’t one of them.

Anyone? Have any of you found yourself craving a little snack while shopping and going for one of these little packets?

Hey, I hear it tastes just like chicken.

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