Tag Archives: clothing

Prehistoric Daughter

Being a family of women who are not known for our love of shopping, Jana and I try to do little things along the way to entertain ourselves.

As we were walking through Century 21 (the discount store, not the realtor for those who were confused last week), we came across a rack of fur jackets and dresses. As I was snapping away, my dear, sweet, thoughtful daughter uttered the words every blog mother dreams of, “Do you want me to try this on so you can get a shot of it?”

Being the coy blogger and considerate mother that I am, I asked, “Do you mind if I do a post on this?” Her response? “When I offer to do something like this it is understood that you want to blog about it.”

Damn I love that kid.

We have always held to the idea that women are slaves to fashion and will wear just about anything that the fashion gods tell them is chic. This dress was no exception, until Jana tried it on. She said, “Hey, I get why people would want to wear this. It is soft and warm.”

This style has a certain prehistoric charm to it, don’t you think?

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Filed under absurdities, fashion, Jana

Fashionotsa

That would not be fashion nazi. I am a fashioNOTsa.

Or why I suck at shopping.

I know, I am a Jewish girl from Long Island and therefore it is expected that I love to shop. But I don’t. I hate it AND I suck at it. Perhaps I should explore my true lineage.

But sometimes you just need stuff. So after a lovely meeting this morning and a surprise lunch with Gary (because I was on the 59th Street bridge and had to pee so badly I had to stop at his office), seeing that I had no deadlines tomorrow, I ventured out into the consumer jungle.

Did I mention I hate this worse than going to the dentist? At least there I can get sweet air. These are the 5 reasons why:

  1. The woman in the next dressing room at Lord & Taylor spent a solid 15 minutes on the phone with one of her son’s teachers and for the life of me I could not imagine how she kept trying on clothes without ever shutting up. All I can surmise was that her son is screwed from her micromanagement and someone should tell her that talking on the phone and trying on clothing does not constitute multi-tasking.
  2. I need to see the dermatologist as soon as humanly possible because the lighting in every dressing room made me see that I must have no less than 5 horrible derm conditions. Fluorescent lighting and dressing rooms: who is responsible?
  3. There are no circumstances in which a 3 way mirror is OK.
  4. Clothes on. Clothes off. Repeat. How can this be fun? Well, I know how but this is the wrong context.
  5. I always have to pee and the bathrooms are always in a different zip code than the women’s clothing. Why is that?

The only funny part of today was the cashier at Century 21. She had a very heavy accent and as she checked me out this was our conversation:

She: Your zin cone?

Me: (no idea what that means) Um, no thanks (afraid to agree to anything in fear it might be hard to undo).

She: No, no, no… your zin cone?!

Me: Sorry, not getting what that is.

She: Zin cone. Zin cone. Zin cone! (as if saying it 3 times will make me understand)

Me: (starting to get the giggles and wishing I had a witness) I am so sorry but I have NO idea what you are saying. Maybe you want to write it down.

She: Zin cone. You know… town. 1-1-something-something-something (she loves to repeat herself).

Me: OH! YOU MEAN ZIP CODE.

At this point I simply looked around for the camera and then split.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, shopping

Tie-Dyed Einstein

Only in Woodstock! I love the way Albert had this sheepish look as if I had just caught him shopping for tie-dye, his apparent guilty pleasure.

We took a trip to Woodstock 2 weeks ago to see the Midnight Ramble, which I still need to write about. But in the mean time I have a series of amazing blogworthy shots that I have to share. I will do another post on just signage and probably one more on oddities. Yeh, I am back, alright.

This picture was taken in what Gary called ‘that other little hippie store’.

We split up for a little while and this is how the conversation went:

Me: Where are you now?

Gary: In that other little hippie store.

Me: Um, we are in Woodstock, you are going to have to be a little more specific.

A few minutes later I called Dr. Jimmy to again find out where they were. Here is how that went:

Me: Where are you now?

Dr. Jimmy: In front of the headshop

Me: Again, you are going to need to be a little more specific.

Woodstock was fun but a little too much like a hippie museum. Sort of like the 60s version of Disney. But it was fun. And hey, where else can you go from store to store and hear all Dylan all the time?

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Filed under carry a camera, photography, places of interest, rock 'n roll, shopping

Cheaper than dry cleaning

This was sent to me from my very witty friend the strategist. Yeh, that is a job, and he is REALLY good at it.

He can also spot a fabulous piece of signage on the street. You have to love the person who used this line to sell this ties. Of course my husband has always told me that under no circumstances can you dry clean a tie and expect it to be ok when you get it back… once it gets dirty it is gone. Could that be true?

Nonetheless, I bet that sign helps him sell a hell of a lot of ties.

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Filed under absurdities

Old Hippie Stylin’

We saw this guy at the same music festival where we saw the Hokey Pokey bumper sticker; it was quite an amusing day.

So, I look at this guy and I think, OK, this is a music festival and he is feeling his old hippie oats and wants to wear this outfit that makes him look like… well it makes him look like he just crawled out from under a rock. I mean, it’s not like he was wearing tie dye or something. This outfit was NEVER stylish in ANY era. The shoe and sock combo is to die for on their own but paired with the matching floral cabana set it is hard to look away from this fashion accident.

Anyone want to speculate whether he dresses like this everyday? And if yes, what do you think he does for a living?

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera

Family Mall Day

Like This!

Once a year we have family mall day. Every June, between the end of school and the beginning of camp the four of us spend an eternity a few hours at the local mall. We are not particularly good shoppers, but there is something about an activity that we all do together with some short term goal attached that makes it a nice tradition.

Of course I spent 4 hours and countless dollars and I still have nothing to wear, but that is the way it goes.

A few observations:

1. People are 60% uglier in the mall. I am not sure if we too, become 60% uglier or just the odd looking like to congregate in these places. This also holds true for all theme and water parks.

2. For the most part, the clothing is ugly. I am not sure if that is true either but I know a lot of it is. And the price point does not matter. Sometimes the more expensive stuff is uglier than the cheaper stuff.

3. Mall food is… well, it is mall food. Enough said there.

4. Every store is playing the most annoying song in the universe the second we walk through the doors. (and remember we are a music family, we have very diverse tastes). Oh and there is usually an underlying layer of white noise involved.

5. The yogurt is DEFINITELY NOT low fat.

And now, because of course I had a camera, I will leave you with the highlights of the day. I am only sorry that even though I stalked a woman through the racks at Sterns I was unable to snap a picture of her carrying her little white dog in a baby carrier on the front of her body. Even I was a embarrassed at my behavior. Oh and the baby with the leash on its wrist… a memory of blog posts past.

So, I will start off with a little trend spotting. Seriously, everyone is going Techno Tribal! Um, do with that what you may. I am sort of at a loss on this one.

This poor chick not only lost her hand, she lost her pants. And by the looks of her Brazilian I am guessing she is probably not Techno Tribal; I believe the tribal piece requires hair. I am pretty sure I know where her date is, we ran into him a while back.

Yes, I considered buying a dozen of these T-shirts. But I am not gonna lie, the graphic was just way too disturbing.

And last but not least, sure the ladies like it! But sadly the Mustache has just sort of faded a bit out there. It’s generational, but no worries ‘ladies’, styles are cyclical.and those who still wear them do so proudly.

That’s all I got. Now if you are interested in Family Mall Day next year, we are considering selling tickets. And sponsorships, this day is not cheap!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, danny, humor, Jana, shopping

Clothing (or why everything looks like my bathrobe)

I have this bathrobe that I absolutely love. It is the replacement for one I left in a hotel in Madison when I moved my daughter out this fall. For those who are wondering about this item it looks like this and comes from the Gap. (go ahead, click that link, buy one and tell me it is not love!)

No that is not me, I would never where white pajama pants?

Away I went for the weekend and packed (all my black clothes that apparently look like my robe) and one pink sweater because Ellen told me I needed ‘a splash of color’ and she has been sick and I did not want to upset her.

First night there I wore my black dress that really doesn’t look like the robe but, well maybe. Got up to go to the pool and put on the black beach cover-up that ok, maybe looks like the dress from the night before but not the robe (I think).

Next night, we were getting dressed and I put on a shirt and the response was, “Seriously, that kind of looks like your robe.” So I changed and put on a tank and a vest. And the response to that was, “Give us a break, that really looks like you just cut the sleeves off the damn robe.”

Which leads me to this…

if the robe fits wear it. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

(ok, so I wore the pink sweater that night).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under fashion, humor

Shopping ; (

shopping-bags

I.

Hate.

Shopping.

No, for real, I am a Jewish girl that simply loathes everything about shopping. Of course sometimes it cannot be avoided. Like the day of a special event, for instance. I am famous for going out around noon before a party and looking for something to wear. Not just shoes, or pantyhose, the whole outfit. Yesterday was no different.

I started at a local boutique in hopes of not having to venture to the dreaded mall on a Saturday. I walked in, tried to act nonchalant and then there she was; the ‘Personal Attention Saleswoman’. Now, I know this is the basic reason why many women shop in this kind of store. I walked in and the PAS was on me in a second. “Can I help you? What are you looking for? What kind of event? Might I suggest…” yadayadayada, to the point where I am ready to scratch my own eyes out. Yes, you guessed it.

I.

Hate.

Personal Assistance.

I feel bad because she really was lovely. But, she was wearing both a blouse and jeans that were 2 sizes too small for her. Her cleavage was actually screaming at me as she adjusted the top I tried on. Oh, sweetheart, BACK OFF. I seriously don’t do the adjustment thing. Did she not know about my personal space issue?

The thing is, I have lived in this body for a long time. I am fully aware of what works and what doesn’t. So PLEASE, stop telling me how great this will look on me when I already know it is a ‘no can do outfit.’ Ok, so one armload of nothing looks good on me, this is all to expensive, no I will not try these on with 6 inch stiletto heels, I do not dress like a cheap hooker kind of exercise and I was in the dressing room, sweating, trying to figure out how I could make a beeline for the door ASAP.

Out of that place and on to the mall where I started to freak out almost immediately. There must have been some sort of Disney event going on and at least 60% of the people in the mall were wearing mouse-ka-ears. No joke. First I passed an old women with a walker, then a baby in a stroller, then an entire family wearing these things. Proudly! Gary has called me Amy Mouse for years after seeing pictures of me as a young girl. Ok, maybe I was a little mouse-like. I was convinced that perhaps no one was actually wearing these ears, but in fact, I had finally snapped and was hallucinating.

At one point I was in a dressing room trying to get into one of those tops that has the drapey overthing with an attached tank top and I was stuck in it like a straight jacket. (hey, if the straight jacket fits…) I was fearful that I would never get out of that thing and was a minute away from calling for assistance.

You will be happy to find out that after what seemed like many hours I did come up with a skirt I loved and made it work with existing wardrobe items.

Now if I can only get rid of this recurring dream about Mickey Mouse in stiletto heels.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under body image, products, stress

The Art of the T-shirt

Soaring-mmortal-Blazing

I love the summertime when people proudly sport their favorite T-shirts. In some circles, picking out the T to wear to an event is akin to teenage girls and their outfit obsessions. Come on guys, the ones who do this know who you are, I don’t think I have to single you out here.

This guy was surely standing in front of his dresser pondering the perfect message to wear to the Dark Star Orchestra concert at the beach on Governors Island. This is a very T-shirt appreciative crowd. What you wear is admired, and yes sometimes coveted, like jewelry at a bit yenta-fest Bar-Mitzvah.

I Googled the message on this shirt so I would not appear pop culture ignorant in this instance (heaven forbid). I could not find any reference to the Soaring Immortal Blazing or any other phrase like Golden-maned warrior, but hey, this could be so hip it is not Googleable. (Is that a word? If not it should be). Or maybe fringe. But nonetheless, not only did I not find it, I had to read this shirt 3 times to absorb the message.

Perhaps it is simply because I am unburdened by the gravity of my mission.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under art, carry a camera, fashion, New York City, photography, places of interest, t-shirts