Ground Control to Major Toilet

toilet control

When eating at a new restaurant, some people are impressed by the bar. Others are interested in the mood set by the decor. Still others focus on the food.

Me? I am all about the bathrooms. What? You are not surprised by that? Well, after all, this is the same blog that has brought you the Japanese restaurant Modern Toilet, elephant poop paper, and fart pads. Sorry, if you find this infantile. I understand, but there is something about bathroom humor that always makes me laugh. Sophomoric? Duh!

The photo above was taken in the bathroom of a very chic NYC restaurant that my sorry ass has no business eating in. Mirimoto NYC is tragically hip and filled with the most severe of materials: polished cement, leaf embedded resin, glass dividers, acrylic butt-hugging bar stools, walls created from hundreds of bottles and a crowd that frankly looked a little on the hungry side to me. Face it, if you are that skinny there is no way you are in this place for the food. Surprisingly, the food was excellent. 

I entered the bathroom stall and noticed two things immediately. First, the toilet seat was heated. Seriously! I thought we are not supposed to seat on public toilet seats. Perhaps the heat is thought to kill the germs. I was in full squat when I felt the heat rising off the seat. Then I looked to the right and saw this very impressive control panel. In case you can’t read the labels let me list them here:

Flush (this one is basic), oscillating (hmm, remind me why do I want to have my toilet oscillate again?), pulsating (I guess this would be the obvious follow-up to oscillating), dryer (all that previous activity probably causes some splashing, so this makes sense), stop (good idea to have this option in case any of these features gets to be too much), rear cleansing (self explanatory), front cleansing (same), pressure (anyone wonder why we need pressure from our toilet, isn’t life stressful enough?) and of course your fave and mine, position. Not sure what the little symbols were for but I think they had to do with cleaning.

I was a few glasses of wine to the wind when I entered the bathroom, and for the life of me I do not know why I did not try out all the toilet options. I suppose I was a little bit intimidated or maybe too concerned with getting a picture to make sure I did not hallucinate this one.

I will leave you with this question. Was this panel custom designed or can you actually buy this for your home?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, New York City, photography, places of interest

5 responses to “Ground Control to Major Toilet

  1. Gail

    you can buy for your home, i have friends who have it! never tried it though I am a bit curious! It’s like a toilet/bidet combo! never thought a public place would have something like this!

  2. laurie

    Holy Moly!
    Can you hear the conversations as women are waiting in line?…”she must be using the pulsating -what else could be taking so long!” OR “Hey lady, skip the drying please…the line is too long and my dinner is getting cold!” OR “excuse me, I’m in the next stall. could i borrow your glasses for a minute – I can’t read the controls over here!”

  3. Talk about engineer driven design. Who really wants all things things?

    As for heated toilet seats, I’d say that they’d be the perfect breading ground for germs.

  4. Ooops! I meant to say, “who needs all these things?”

  5. margi

    For real. Bidets gone wild. A – mazing! Fits totally with the posh restaurant (nice website). Oddly, just viewing the whole place has added a little shishi excitement to my home-spun world. Certainly no one needs it, and for the record, I’d not sit.

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