Tag Archives: signs

Time to Cry Tuesday – On Doors Closing and Opening

doors

I always loved the phrase: When one door closes another one opens.

Last week I experienced an uber (no, not that Uber) example of those proverbial doors. I tried my very best to keep my emotions under the drama bar and go with the flow. This, by the way, does nothing more than exhaust you beyond description and is simply a control freak’s illusion, but I seem most comfortable in this state.

As with most of my life, the sequence of my doors were reversed. But this saying made for a nice thread for this post, so let’s go with it.

On Thursday, a door opened. Big time. The one to my daughter Jana’s new apartment. The apartment that she will be sharing with the love of her life – the young man who she has spent many long years waiting to live in the same city with, let alone under the same roof. In reality, the door to this apartment made it a challenge to get a queen-sized box spring through it and up the stairs to her bedroom, but this was the small stuff. (Rectified, btw, by sofasurgery.com. Quick plug for an amazing service that solved the problem in less than 2 hours from call to completion).

The opening of this door was one to the beginning of a wonderful life together and the joy I feel for them is beyond description. (And contrary to those who question this, his mother and I will not be living with them)

On Friday, a door closed. Big time. After many months of listings, contracts, deals, stops and starts, boiler and oil tank replacements, clean-outs, boxes, yards of bubble wrap, sorting, reminiscing, sales, dumpsters, tears, laughs, one broken toe and one tennis/schlepping elbow… we closed on the sale of my childhood home. With each stage of this process, no matter how much stuff we took out of this house, it still felt like the home of my childhood. My family is embedded in the walls of this place. Even that very last day, the one when the house was completely empty except for the bottle of Stoli in the freezer that we toasted one last time to my mom with, we could not help but feel that she would somehow come walking out of that kitchen.

The closing of this door? Well it certainly carries with it a bag of mixed emotions. I walked out of that closing (both the real estate deal and the door) with an odd sense of calm coupled with an overwhelming exhaustion. I certainly have said my goodbyes to that house, that life, that anchor. I am happy to be rid of the process. But there is a lingering phantom pain surrounding never being able to ‘go home again’.

Ok, so maybe I crossed over the drama bar for a moment.

The net of all this (other than my overuse of cliché and devices)? I am a women who loves signs and juxtapositions. I thrive on the meant to be and the alignment of stars. To close on 10.10 at 10am at 1010 Northern Blvd. rang that bell big time. And it was my grandfather’s birthday to boot.

But nothing rang the bell more than the site of my girl in her beginning as I was tying up an ending.

One door opens and another one closes… maybe it is ok to reverse that saying, after all.

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Filed under aging parents, childhood, cliches, doors, family, sentimentalites

Up is down

up-is-down1Sometimes life feels this way. Things happen that throw us completely off kilter. Up is down indeed.

I am big on watching for signs; seeing what is around me and trying to take something away from everything I see. 

On my daily early morning walk, soon after the most ‘up is down’ experience of my life, I came across this painted in the street. I had to smile. Perhaps the person responsible for this did not have me in mind, but it is no coincidence that it was smack in the middle of my path that day.

Each day afterwards I would pass this in the street, and with each day, it started to fade ever so slightly… not unlike the feeling that I had. 

Today, after a weekend of almost normal – or as normal as it could be, or perhaps the new normal – I looked down, and there was my up is down message, faded almost to obscurity. 

up-is-down2Had I not known it was there I would never have seen it. 

This weekend someone told me a little story about loss. Someone had lost someone close to them and when asked how he was he said that although he was getting used to his life he was still holding on to that feeling of loss. That somehow there was something so very special about still having that feeling. And when the feeling has faded it will seem almost sadder. 

I get that. And all I can add to that is that the signs will always be there, they may fade and be invisible to those who are not feeling them, but those of us who are, know they will always be there. 

 

 

 

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Filed under aging parents, loss

Time to Cry Tuesday – An End

All BadAll bad things must come to an end? I will hold on to this thought. And although this is some cryptic graphic messaging for all you Breaking Bad fans out there, when I passed this on the street today I liked to think of it as my personal message from the universe.

Everyone gets their share of bad. Some of us are over-achievers and we get our ‘bad’ in big, fat, miserable prolonged, heavy doses. I call this getting your bad out of the way all at once – the bad-efficient lifestyle. When calamity seems to follow you around like a lost puppy you sort of get used to it. Hostage mentality.

But being a realistic optimist I am going to hold on to the the idea that ‘all bad things must come to an end.’

Eventually.

Till ‘the end’ shows its lovely little light at the end of the tunnel, I will keep looking for the signs.

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Filed under New York City, photography, signage

All Stressed Out?

I received this as a text from my daughter on Saturday night. You have to love a kid that would send you something like this from the bathroom at a party.

I am not any more stressed then usual these days. And honestly, choking someone is not really my idea of a release. But I do like the homespun, country craft show look of the sign against that sweet calico wallpaper.

I am wondering if the woman of the house does her choking in a Martha Stewart apron.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, Jana

Smile! There is no HELL

smile-there-is-no-hell

Obviously this person was not sitting at my desk today. 

Just kidding.

This sign was held up right next to a group of religious fanatics when we were doing the campus tour at UW Madison. The lovely thing about this campus is that you feel as if you are smack back in the middle of the days where protesting was the norm. Actually, in Madison it IS the norm.

I loved this sign because the ones that he was next to were terribly hateful and he diffused them so well. They used words like fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate homosexuals (I suppose the butch gays were cool with them), thieves, covetous drunkards (again, those that did not covet were ok) and my favorite: swindlers.

While the zealots were shouting their hateful remarks he would hold this sign up periodically and the crowd would cheer. It was peaceful. And perfect. 

Just another sunny day in the midwest.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under art, carry a camera, college touring, education, signage