Tag Archives: Satan

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 8)

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities. 

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

don’t worry, i have toast Thank goodness, I thought we were all going to go hungry.

marry an asshole This is some pretty bad advise.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my! 

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back. 

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches

Satan Calling

666-6666

Yeh, that title should get me some interesting traffic.

Speaking of traffic (I know, pathetic segue), while sitting in it today I was behind this car. 666-6666. That is quite a potent number. Of course I had to do a little research on this devilish number. 

Here are a few interesting facts:

On May 23rd, 2006 the mobile number 666-6666 was auctioned for charity in Qatar. It sold for 10m Qatari riyals or $2,746,045.59. According to the article in The Register here are some other interesting little factoids in the 666 arena:

On a techy note, the first Apple Computer sold for $666.66, the sixth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is w – so www. shows how evil the internet is. And finally, Viagra has a molecular weight of 666.7g/mol.

So all you internet porn addicts on apple computers…

looks like you are going straight to hell!

On further exploration I decided to check out the local area codes for this number.

516 – no such number.

631 – I got this interesting message, ” The voice mailbox of Hello There is full, please try again later”. Friendly little devil out there in Suffolk County.

718 – very foriegn voices that sounded kind of like a terrorist cell and creeped me out that maybe they had caller ID and I was screwed.

And 212? Apparently that was the one that was advertised on this bumper, Carmel car and limo service! I wonder if they had to pay through the wazoo to get that number.

Or perhaps they just had to sell their souls.

Alright, cheap jokes tonight. But at least I got us out of the bathroom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, companies, humor, marketing, New York, New York City

Sorry Pal, this Jew is Not for Jesus

Only on i could cry but i don’t have time would a post about Jesus follow one about Childbirth Orgasms. What can I say, I have range!

As I have mentioned before, I have become a bit of a Twitter addict. For those who are unfamiliar with Twitter it is sort of a cross between a social network, like Facebook, and Instant Messaging, like AIM or ICHAT. And for my parents and in-laws, sorry about speaking in a foreign language in this post.

The other night on Twitter someone wrote that they were being followed by @jesus and they better watch what they say. I thought that was simply hysterical and ‘retweeted’ that comment. Not long after, I received an email that @jesus was now following me! The best line of all in the bio is ‘what would Jesus tweet?’

jesus-tweet

Oh Twitter – opportunities for all! This is a group of Christians trying to spread the word. Hey, G-d bless. But fellas this Jew is not for Jesus, so if you don’t mind, nothing personal but I will not follow y’all back. K?

A little further investigation tuned me in that there are many godlike twitter accounts out there in the twittosphere: @god, @jesus_christ, @baby_jesus, @almighty and there is even @thejesusgeeks and jokesandjesus.

Here is are some funny tweets I uncovered during my search: “Is it me or should @jesus have more than 13 followers?” Or how about this one, “I unfollowed @God the other night, don’t think @Jesus will help either. ; )” On Christmas, this one went out, ” @jesus, happy birthday big guy!” And my favorite one of all “Wow. @greygoosevodka is following me! F’in awesome! But it looks like I lost @jesus (*yikes).

Ok, all kidding aside here. I find this all a little off color. And kind of sticky. This has got to offend the more religious Tweeters out there. Then again, all is fair game in the world of social media I suppose. 

Oh, in case you were wondering, to give the other side equal time, @satan is on Twitter too.

Can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, communities, humor, religion, twitter