Tag Archives: jews

Passover – The Cardiologists’ Holiday

For those who are not of the tribe, Passover is a holiday that is filled with cholesterol and sugar. Dozens of eggs, pounds of butter, countless sacks of sugar and briskets till the cows come home (with onions and carrots) crowd Jewish tables from coast to coast.

I had chest pains just cooking the stuff. This is not to mention what it all does to your stomach.

In doctor’s offices across the land, Cardiologists and Gastroenterologists are dancing the jig and planning their next vacation… on us! Or our health insurance companies. This is sort of like how happy the dentists are right after halloween. I don’t think of it as shadenfruede, but more just a joy surrounding a surge in business, so to speak.

This is surely not a week to have one’s bloods done.

Another funny Passover anecdotes:

Me: Do chopped walnuts go bad?

Friend 1: No, they are a post-apocalyptic food

Friend 2: And I am sure the ancient Manschevitz wine that you are mixing in will kill any bacteria.

Ahhhh, the holidays. What could be more fun?

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Yarmulkap. Or should it be the Yidlid?


This one comes to you from Rochelle, via her son. Thanks Ro. For those who keep asking, “Do people send you crazy stuff?” the answer would be a big fat yes. I am truly becoming the Magnet for the Absurd.

So, let’s take a look at this item. It is actually called the Yarmulkap but I am not thrilled with the name. It is one of those awkward contractions that doesn’t roll off the tongue. Now Yidlid, that has a real marketing twist, don’t you think?

This item is marketed as a combination Yamulka and a visor. For those not of the tribe the L is silent and for those really not of the tribe, this is the name for a skullcap for Jews, also known as a kippah.

Enough of the lesson in Jewish customs, I am a bit curious how the inventor of this sucker came up with this. What? A day in the park and he was wearing a baseball cap over his kippah and his head got hot? Check out this picture from the website. Love the Brooklyn Bridge. I mean, let’s face it, big concentration of observant Jews in Brooklyn, this shot could be very relatable for them, no?

Would you take a look at this for a moment and give some serious thought about how many of these will ever actually be sold? Let’s say that there are 6,489,000 in the US as of 2008 according to the US census bureau. I have to believe that there are a good chunk that don’t observe at all. Then you have Reform and Conservative, most of whom are not regular wearers of kippot (plural of kippah). Then you have to account for the kippah wearing population that will think that this item is completely RIDICUOUS because, well because it is.

So I am thinking a few hundred as gag gifts at best. What do you think?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, fashion, humor, products, trends

Bagel and a Pap Schmear?!!

CBS Cares went out on a limb tonight and aired this Public Service Announcement promoting cancer screening. What could be bad about that, you ask? Well watch for yourself and tell me what you think. (sorry, CBS is not playing nicely with WordPress so I can’t embed). If you’re not inclined to watch the video or are reading on a Blackberry, here is the script:

Want to do something special for your woman this Hannukah? Schedule her a pap smear. Just a schmear could save her life. Light up her menorah with a gift that says, you look great but it’s what’s inside that counts.

Yeh, well, alrighty then. I am guessing this is not airing nationally. ‘Um, darlin’, what’s a schmear?’

Folks, anyone else grossed out with the cream cheese reference. I might never put my feet in those stirrups again without craving a bagel and lox.

I am not sure on what level this is more offensive, the lack of respect for screening or the bizarre Jewish twist. Perhaps they should have used Woody Allen as the talking head. I simply love the way they targeted the Jewish market by talking about food, gift giving and the way they look. Yeh, we are a pretty shallow tribe. Jeez!!

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Who wrote this, Adam Sandler? ‘Grab your harmonica, let’s celebrate Hannukah’. I was thinking a soundtrack of Jim Morrison singing Come on Baby Light My Menorah would have been a nice touch.

I first heard about this on Facebook (thanks Amy K), and the 17 comments in an hour should give you an idea of how it was received. My favorite was the woman who said ‘this is brilliant, those secular pap smear PSAs NEVER work’. Most of us thought it was a goof. I mean, who would actually air this?  During 60 minutes no less.

If you read the backgrounder on the campaign below the video it gets worse. There is talk of overhearing a conversation at Il Mulino (I am sure they will be thrilled with the press – great food BTW, you know how we Jews love good italian) where women were talking about ‘refrigerated speculums’ causing them to not want to go for pap smears but he thought they said ‘spatulas’. (Huh? What was the point of all that)  Oh right, most woman forego a pap smear to avoid cold metal objects. I mean mammos are so comfortable – we go for those, no problem. And surely singling me out as a Jewish woman with some silly references to my food and holidays will make me run to the gyn to make sure I am screened.

Right, if I was an idiot!

Don’t get me wrong, anything that gets women out for screening is a great in my book. But seriously folks, this is a fail of Motrin Moms proportion in my book.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, health, women

A Serious Man – Fargo for Jews

a_serious_man_poster

I am a HUGE Coen brothers fan. I know, no big surprise. They don’t get anymore offbeat than the Coen’s and I surely seem to thrive on the offbeat.

This afternoon, for some reason that I am still not sure of, we decided to see A Serious Man at 4:00 in the afternoon. Perhaps we are preparing for old age, but I think the real reason was the desire to watch the Yankee game that never happened in the evening.

I will not be one of those people who tells all the good parts of the movie and then ruins it for you. (you people who are like that, you know who you are). And I will not do a movie review because I am not Siskell or Ebert. (wait, isn’t one of them dead?) What I will do is give you a few comments about the experience of seeing the film.

Imagine the 4:00 show. Many walkers and canes and more than one person explaining what just happened in a loud whisper throughout the film. The guy behind us? Asleep before the movie even started. And, we saw this in a town that, how should I put this delicately, has a bit of a shortage for those of my tribe. Plainly put, this is a predominantly non-Jewish zip code. But the senior citizen Jews abounded in this little suburban theater (of the absurd) and became part of the theatrical experience. My friend complained of choking on hairspray when we walked in.

Having set the scene I will tell you that I LOVED the movie. But I will also tell you that if you are a not a Jew who grew up in the 60s this one might be a bit of a stretch for you. If you love films (not movies) and have a true appreciation for brilliant directing, amazing acting, some pretty cool messaging and great music as well as camera angles and incredible period set decorating, this could still be for you.

I could not help but relate to all the avocado green and burnt orange decor. The artwork and light fixtures, fabrics and clothing all brought back my preteen years in a vivid kind of washed out technicolor. I am pretty sure my brother’s Bar Mitzvah picture was hanging in the background of one of the shots!

The film was quite moving, at times hysterical in that Coen-style black humor sort of way and reminiscent of Fargo without the foreskin.

Jews, go check it out. Those not of the tribe, bring a Jewish friend to explain the subtleties.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, movies, music

Phone in Jury Duty

Jury-duty

Whose idea was this one? Do they have this everywhere or is this county specific?

I am not sure if this is a great idea or a really lousy one. I will let you know at the end of the FIVE FRIGGIN’ DAYS that the county of Nassau has decided they are entitled to hold my schedule hostage.

Really guys, no problem for me to call you every damn night (after 5:00) to find out if my next day is my own. Of course I have nothing better to do than keep rescheduling anything that needs to be addressed the following day. Or better yet, write the whole week off to that frivolous style of spontaneity that has always been so successful in running both a business and a family/home.

I suppose this is better than the show up and sit in that big room kind of thing I had to do last time. But what happened to the sole proprietor of a business exemption I used to enjoy years ago. Give me a break, I can’t just stop working because you guys need jurors. Perhaps I could show up with my underwear on the outside of my clothing and act like nothing is wrong. That might discourage anyone from wanting me on a jury.

Then again, that might be just the thing to get me picked.

Or perhaps when I tell them I come from a family of lawyers they might not find me all that desirable.

Oh, and BTW, not that I encourage racial or religious profiling, but my married last name is Levinson. And this would be the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The days of awe (and brisket) are not always the best time for a Jew to take off yet another day from work.

My husband received the dreaded Juror Questionnaire this week. He asked me if I thought it was a bad idea to just answer all the questions with ‘F-off’. Um, yeh, probably would certainly get him a seat on jury, don’t you think?

So, if you are looking for me this week and I don’t get right back to you it is because perhaps my number was up.

You guys know me by now. Do you really think it would be in the best interest of any attorney to pick this big-mouthed, opinionated, menopausal bee-otch to help determine the fate of another person? (that question was rhetorical).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, humor, lawsuits, work

Email. Brisket. Conference Call. Kugel.

There are days when working at home is both wonderful and manic.

Is it hard to juggle it all? Sometimes.

Would I have it any other way?

Probably not.

There is nothing like preparing a holiday while you try to juggle tying up a week of work.

For those who are of the tribe, I wish a sweet new year. And for those who are not, I wish you no lines at the movies or your favorite restaurant on Friday and Saturday night.

I’ll be back on Sunday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carreers, family, holidays

Guerilla Holiday

guerilla_matzoh

No, my guests did not behave like primates. That’s the other gorilla!

A new record was set in my household this Passover. Menu writing to table in 23 hours. Pretty impressive, even for me.

There are those that cook ahead and plan for weeks. Their tables are set 2 days in advance (no Karen, I am not talking about you… specifically). Not me. I need to feel the pressure of impending guests breathing down my neck before I can move towards getting it together. Between work and social obligations there was simply no time to address this holiday (or any other, who am I kidding) before it was on fire.

In the past there have been many casualties: the year I spoiled the  chicken soup by putting hot matzoh balls into cold soup. Tip: this curdles the soup. Gary had to run to the Jewish deli for soup at the 11th hour that year. Or the time I dropped 2 dozen eggs in the driveway; very messy. But this year was pretty smooth. I did shatter both a tupperware of frozen soup (the soup survived) and one more crystal wine glass from my wedding registry (a miracle there are any left after 20-blah-blah years). Other than that is was smooth as silk.

Most important, I was surrounded by those I love. Sadly some were missing for out of state reasons, but we still had a great night.

And for the record, NO ONE cleans like Joanne!

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, food, holidays, religion