Tag Archives: Passover Seder

Jewish Hippies Rejoice

Matzolah

If you are celebrating Passover and are sticking to strict dietary laws of no leavened products, this matzoh-style granola will surely give your little hippie heart a thrill. And it’s made by Foodman! Does he have the help of Foodwoman?

I love the description:

Matzo (everyone spells it their own way, like Hannukah) Granola Breakfast & Nosh.

It’s sort of like my grandmother wrote that.

Thanks to my bro for sending me this one today. It made me smile. And oddly gave me a craving to stick my hand in that container and walk around barefoot in the streets with flowers in my hair singing Grateful Dead tunes…

in hebrew.

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Seder Snowstorm

photo

If you listen carefully this morning, you can hear a collective sigh of women throughout the midwest and east coast pondering pounds of brisket and gallons of chicken soup, wondering who will make it to their seder tables tonight. To think that our past worries were whether there would be an egg shortage due to the Passover/Easter proximity.

Here we were – certainly those of us who work full time – thinking how brilliant it was that the first seder fell on a Monday. We partook in leisurely shopping over the weekend instead of the midnight run to the all night grocers. We cooked in our pajamas and workout clothes and our phones were spared the gooey matzoh ball mixture of conference calls past. We set tables with extra care and woke this morning able to still put in a fairly decent day’s work before the reheating begins.

We plan and G-d laughs. A pending spring snowstorm that doesn’t even have the decency to show up early enough for any of our guests to be able to make a show/no-show judgement call before early afternoon is sort of the big Mother Nature FU.

My phone started buzzing with texts last night: “Weather update?”, “Any cancellations?”, “You changing yours to Tuesday?”

Holiday misery loves company.

Tonight, instead of the Four Questions there will be only one… will anyone be sitting at our seder tables?

In case not, anyone interested in a boatload of Jew food?

 

 

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Passover – The Cardiologists’ Holiday

For those who are not of the tribe, Passover is a holiday that is filled with cholesterol and sugar. Dozens of eggs, pounds of butter, countless sacks of sugar and briskets till the cows come home (with onions and carrots) crowd Jewish tables from coast to coast.

I had chest pains just cooking the stuff. This is not to mention what it all does to your stomach.

In doctor’s offices across the land, Cardiologists and Gastroenterologists are dancing the jig and planning their next vacation… on us! Or our health insurance companies. This is sort of like how happy the dentists are right after halloween. I don’t think of it as shadenfruede, but more just a joy surrounding a surge in business, so to speak.

This is surely not a week to have one’s bloods done.

Another funny Passover anecdotes:

Me: Do chopped walnuts go bad?

Friend 1: No, they are a post-apocalyptic food

Friend 2: And I am sure the ancient Manschevitz wine that you are mixing in will kill any bacteria.

Ahhhh, the holidays. What could be more fun?

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