Tag Archives: christmas

Time to Cry Tuesday – Be Here Now

I might have written about this before, but you can never hear it too much. This time of year it is especially hard to stay in the moment. We are rushing from celebration to celebration, work is piling up, everyone is trying to pass things off to the next desk (tag you’re it) and we become generally hassled trying to ‘enjoy the season’.

Ridiculous.

In my real life I wear many hats. (actually, I rarely wear hats, I have a freakishly small head) One of my jobs is blog editor for a brand blog. It is one of the projects I am most proud of. I have 5 fabulous women writing for us each week on varied topics. Yesterday’s blog was written by Kim Ross, who also blogs at A Little Bit of the This and That. Kim is an amazing mom who has been able to strike a balance in her life and I feel honored to work with her. Today she wrote this post about enjoying the holidays. Go ahead and read it, I will wait.

Sweet right?

I had just finished reading her post when I came upstairs and found Jana with Iko on her lap. She said, “don’t you wish she could stay this little longer?” As she said that I could not help but remember feeling the same way about her when she was a baby. Seems like yesterday and 100 years ago at the same time.

I told her this,”Remember this feeling. Look at that puppy and never forget this moment of savoring her puppyhood. Look back on what this feels like with the puppy when you have a baby. Don’t rush its life away longing for all the things you can’t wait for it to do; smile, sit up, hold its bottle, crawl, walk. It all happens so fast and then all of the sudden you have a toddler and your baby is gone.”

The whole idea is to enjoy it all.

From my house to all of yours, I wish you a very happy holiday and the ability to sit back and savor the moments. Every one of them.

 

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Filed under family, holidays, Iko, Jana, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Anti-Customer Service

Or, how the hell can I get a Kindle without ordering it online?

December 16th. Shopping hell.

PC Richards: Hello, this is PC Richards, can I help you.

Me: Yes, can you tell me if you have the Kindle in stock.

PC Richards: please hold

Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Give up and redail.

PC Richards: Hello, this is PC Richards, can I help you.

Me: Yes, can you tell me if you have the Kindle in stock.

PC Richards: please hold

Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Finally someone picks up.

Me: Yes, can you tell me if you have the Kindle in stock.

Sales Associate: please hold.

Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Finally someone picks up.

Me: Yes, can you tell me if you have the Kindle in stock.

Sales Associate: We dont carry the Kindle.

Seriously?!!!

Best Buy: Hello, this is Best Buy northeastern regional office. If you would like the Westbury store please dial (totally muffled numbers reminiscent of the announcement in the subway).

Redial 411 get correct number.

Best Buy: Hello, this is Best Buy, please hold.

This is a joke, right?

The good news is that this hold has a tape loop with some really interesting facts:

Every day 28,00o people become eligible for a mobile phone upgrade. (interesting)

From Dec 26th – 31st the Geek Squad will have a hotline to help you with all the cool tech stuff you bought. We have 17,000 geek squad technicians nationwide.

Hmmm… I would be happier with the 28,000 number. Maybe we could train the people who are eligible for phone upgrades daily to beef up that stat.

Sales Associate: Hello, this is Best Buy, can I help you.

Me: Finally! Do you have Kindles in stock.

Sales Associate: Sorry, sold out.

FYI, total of 12 minutes on hold to find this out. Still better than PC Richard that did not even sell them. Or the 2 Staples that we had visited in the time that we were on the phone on hold. They had signs in every window advertising the Kindle till we got inside only to find out… they were out of stock!

Solution: Amazon… pay the $20 for overnight shipping. Call it a day.

Moral of the story? Read a book.

 

 

 

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Time to Cry Tuesday – The family you choose

We are very fortunate Jews; very fortunate indeed, as we are invited to a most amazing Christmas every year with our dearest friends. I wrote about this last year but I can’t help but post again about an evening that is so very special to our family.

Seated in one room were  members of four families, one friend of the boys and the boyfriend of my girl. The ‘kids’ table was now populated with 14 to 20-year-olds!

As we all took our seats, the vision of all those young adults took my breath away. Some in High School, others about to go off to college, still others scattered in universities across the country, some about to go off on semester abroad adventures, were the finicky eaters and meltdown whiners of Christmas’ past. Was it not just yesterday that the girls put on their famous dance show in front of the fireplace while the boys bounced balls incessantly through the house? Did we not pajama the kids before we went home a few short years ago?

And it’s amazing how we don’t look a day older. (ok, we had a lot of wine with dinner).

It is never a bad idea to count your blessings during the holiday season. So much time is spent on rushing around to make it all perfect, when the truth is, by nature of the players it already is.

Thank you once again to my dear wife friend, Joanne, who makes a holiday like no other. Go figure that the skinniest, most fit woman I know would also be the best cook! She gave me the little framed picture above this post long ago and I keep in on my desk to thank my lucky stars for the day her husband brought her into my life (and believe me, he dated many women I would not have been all that happy sharing my life with, most of whom I remember and he does not).

I am doubly blessed to have a real family that I would choose anyway and an extended family of friends that I would throw myself in front of a train for.

Happy holidays to you all. Count your friends as your blessings for without them nothing is all that important.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, friendship, holidays

From a Jew on Christmas

Ho. Ho. Ho. Or for you kvetchy jews out there like the lady on the deli line in the market yesterday: Oy. Oy. Oy.

Forget religion for a moment and let’s talk about the holiday season and what it does to people. To that crazy lady:

What the hell were you thinking yelling at that little old lady behind you?

Granted she might have been crowding you a bit, or perhaps she might have been a little cranky, but your outburst was embarrassing to me, I would hope it was to you afterwards. And then it spawned another little scuffle at the head of the line. Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but no matter how old I get I am still from the school of respect your elders, no matter how much they may annoy you.

PEOPLE, what is up? It is the holiday, you are in an upscale market in a beautiful suburb and you can afford to shop here and hopefully your ‘stress’ is probably just how you will get all that food on the table hot. So catch a grip, chill out and grab a little holiday spirit and perhaps a drink or two to calm that mood and try to enjoy! And act civil to one another, for G-d sake!

Ok, so perhaps she had more stress than the hot food thing. And maybe everyone is a little edgier trying to make believe life is all warm and fuzzy in these not so warm and fuzzy times. But this woman? Yikes, what an outburst. Kind of like that Network, “I’m as mad as hell and I am not going to take this anymore!” kind of thing.

My reaction? I turned to the woman behind me and promised not to fight with her. I told her I would never use that tone with anyone I was not married to. It gave her a good laugh and we of saner (and I use that term loosely) temperaments went on our merry shopping way hoping to learn from this lesson that we should do unto others and all that crap.

I can only top this with the facebook post from my friend Amy S yesterday:

Person ahead of me with a “Choose Civility” bumper sticker on the car just cut someone off and ran a red light.

Yeh, there are all sorts of hypocrites out there.

So to all my friends who are not hypocrites but instead wonderful people who appreciate all they have and would never yell at little old ladies (unless perhaps they gave birth to them), here is wishing you a Merry Christmas if this is your holiday. And if not, I hope you are as lucky as we are to share the holiday with friends.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, conversations, current events, holidays, humor

Bagel and Pap Smear with a side of Santa?

Oh yes, ladies and gent(tile)s, the CBS Cares pap smear commercial has a christian version. If you missed my post last week you can read about it here. In short CBS has created a campaign around gifting pap smears. (that would be a hell of an item to regift, no?) Here is the jewish version complete with cream cheese reference (ew)

Thanks to my friend 24 at heart, I have been made aware that it’s not just jewish guys that think a pap smear appointment is the perfect holiday gift. I’m not going to lie here, I am a little put off that the christian guy is so much better looking than the pap ‘schmear’ jew with the nasal voice. And who could resist the line, “Give her the gift that even Santa can’t deliver”. Check him out (what a babe!)

But… it gets better. You see CBS is an equal opportunity advertiser. So for all you guys out there, this babe is urging us to schedule you a prostate exam. Oh yes, this is not a joke. And the tagline from this sultry blonde would be? “Give the gift that says Merry Christmas, I love ALL of you”. Shouldn’t that have been, “Give the gift that says turn your head and cough?”

What, you say? No woman of the tribe hawking a prostate exam. Oh yes there is! And her line? Oh really, I can hardly type from laughing so hard, “This Hannukah, give the gift of a kosher prostate.” WTF!!!! Again with the food reference. And this hebropsycho has this creepy way of smiling when she says the word prostate, like she is about to… never mind, you know what they say about jewish girls.

Ok, I will have to admit that these are getting attention, but they are kind of like staring at the accident. Since when did secular PSAs go out of style?

I can’t wait to hear the hispanic versions!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Sorry Pal, this Jew is Not for Jesus

Only on i could cry but i don’t have time would a post about Jesus follow one about Childbirth Orgasms. What can I say, I have range!

As I have mentioned before, I have become a bit of a Twitter addict. For those who are unfamiliar with Twitter it is sort of a cross between a social network, like Facebook, and Instant Messaging, like AIM or ICHAT. And for my parents and in-laws, sorry about speaking in a foreign language in this post.

The other night on Twitter someone wrote that they were being followed by @jesus and they better watch what they say. I thought that was simply hysterical and ‘retweeted’ that comment. Not long after, I received an email that @jesus was now following me! The best line of all in the bio is ‘what would Jesus tweet?’

jesus-tweet

Oh Twitter – opportunities for all! This is a group of Christians trying to spread the word. Hey, G-d bless. But fellas this Jew is not for Jesus, so if you don’t mind, nothing personal but I will not follow y’all back. K?

A little further investigation tuned me in that there are many godlike twitter accounts out there in the twittosphere: @god, @jesus_christ, @baby_jesus, @almighty and there is even @thejesusgeeks and jokesandjesus.

Here is are some funny tweets I uncovered during my search: “Is it me or should @jesus have more than 13 followers?” Or how about this one, “I unfollowed @God the other night, don’t think @Jesus will help either. ; )” On Christmas, this one went out, ” @jesus, happy birthday big guy!” And my favorite one of all “Wow. @greygoosevodka is following me! F’in awesome! But it looks like I lost @jesus (*yikes).

Ok, all kidding aside here. I find this all a little off color. And kind of sticky. This has got to offend the more religious Tweeters out there. Then again, all is fair game in the world of social media I suppose. 

Oh, in case you were wondering, to give the other side equal time, @satan is on Twitter too.

Can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, communities, humor, religion, twitter

Too much food and the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors

cosm

Tonight was our big fat Italian Christmas, except there was no one fat and not all that many Italians come to think of it. In fact most of us were Jews. Except our hostess whose holiday dinners have become the most coveted invite in the zip code. Every one of the guests was scheming how to secure a place at the table for next year. Except for us, of course, we are a lock AND we can bring the dog. 

After dinner some of us got into a philosophical discussion about our expectations for the coming year that included much spiritual conversation. One friend brought up the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors, an art exhibit in Chelsea. My first reaction was, oh no, an exhibit that will not only reveal inner secrets, but back fat as well. Not sure I need to go there.

Seriously, it does sound kind of cool. Here is a quick description from the website:

The Sacred Mirrors series is a totally unique work of contemporary sacred art created by Alex Grey. This installation of 21 framed images, consisting of 19 paintings and two etched mirrors, examines the anatomy of body, mind and spirit in rich detail. Each painting presents a life-sized figure facing viewers and inviting them to mirror the images, creating a sense of seeing into oneself.

Ok, so maybe I can lose the narcissistic fear of back fat and I will check this out. This is the line that got me:

The Sacred Mirrors dramatically reveal the miracle of life’s evolutionary complexity, the unity of human experience across all racial, class and gender divides, and the astonishing vistas of possibility inherent in human consciousness. 

Pretty tall order to ignore. For those interested, the show closes on New Year’s Eve. Surely let me know if you visit.

Oh, and the lasagna was to die for!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under art, holidays, museums, New York City, places of interest