Category Archives: conversations

Time to Cry Tuesday – Please Sign

dear mom

This is a ‘laugh till you cry’ for the last Time to Cry Tuesday of the year. There were so many very poignant things that have happened this holiday season, but for some reason I wanted to end on a funnier note. Too much heavy.

During another fit of house-purging this weekend, I came across this note. It is now hard to tell what came out of my parents’ house and what my mom gave to me over the years. It matters not, for the fact that this has survived all this time is the whole point.

This, my friends, is a peek into the life of Little Amy. By the look of the handwriting – and the fact that I switched classes for English – I would say that this was 7th grade Amy, to be exact. And that would put me in the back of Mrs. Stoudt’s English class next to my friend Kevin. So, I would guess that this was about me… and my big mouth. No surprise that in adolescence I had a tough time keeping the ole trap shut in class. I can still here her stopping class and saying, “Miss Zimmerman and Mr. Marrr-carrr-i… can you pleeeeease stop socializing.’ Hey, we had stuff to talk about! We still do, actually.

Good thing I knew I was ‘100% wrong’ and I had ‘gotten better in the past few weeks.’

Was she mad? I am pretty sure that since she saved this for 40 some-odd years, it is safe to say she was probably more amused than angry.

Dad? Thoughts?

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Filed under communities, conversations, friendship, moms, school

Mom Texting

Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 11.10.31 AM

For a mom with high digital engagement, it always amazes me how much I suck at texting and IMing. Actually, I probably just suck at typing and it translates to those mediums.

Danny, my adult son, has moved home after college and commutes to the city. His schedule changes as he spends nights in the city often. Wanting to plan for dinner, I usually text him during the day to get his status for that night.

The beauty of my relationship with my kids? They have inherited the appreciation for the absurd. Second gen MFTA*, if you will.

Do you think I could start #pimpmom trending?

mfta moment

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Filed under absurdities, advice to my son, conversations, danny, humor, parenting, technolgy

I am 74

old-man

No, I am not 74, but the lunatic sitting next to me at the doc’s office today is. It was if the universe gave him the same appointment time as I had because it knew what a great blog post he would make. Some quotes from the dear man with my comments in italics:

“I am 74. Why would I buy a car? I lease. If I drop dead, they just take the car back.” (not so funny at a cardiologist’s office)

“I can’t believe they are legalizing pot, now all the potheads are going to be walking around all over the place” (as opposed to being locked up in jail where they belong because all they did was get high?)

And my all time fave:

“When I heard about the new gun laws I went out and bought 11 guns and 2,000 rounds of ammo.” (now this one made me want to revert to the first quote and hope for the best)

No, I do not go to the cardiologist in the back woods… this was on the North Shore of Long Island! WTH?

(Don’t worry, I did not take a picture of this crazy man, this is stock… but it sort of looks like him)

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Damn Jewish Mother Guilt

It came to my attention, thanks to my mother-in-law and the Jewish grapevine, that a camper that had been in my son’s bunk was diagnosed with Whooping Cough.

Pertussis.

Not a great thing to get. And said son came home with his usual post-camp ‘kennel’ cough. I did not think much of it more than usual exhaustion, until I heard about the Whooping Cough. Certainly nothing to take lightly in teens and young adults (FYI, even though your kids were vaccinated with the DTP – the P being Pertussis – when they were little, the vaccine wears off in about 10ish years. Consider this a funny PSA).

If you have a college Jr. you will know that they tend to be a little, shall I say, overly independent when it comes to their healthcare. I particularly like the part where having a cough for going on 4 weeks seems to be no big deal to him since he believes it is not Whooping Cough.

Here is the actual text thread we had today. When necessary, I can still kick some serious Jewish Mother butt. Please note the horrendous iphone typos. But he got my point.

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Filed under conversations, danny, health

Overheard on the Fire Island Ferry

Yesterday we spent a glorious day on Fire Island. It was one of those picture perfect summer mornings when taking the ferry sets the tone for the wonderful day ahead. Years ago, we spent our summers there in share houses. Yesterday we were visiting friends who we met back then and now own a home just blocks away from where we stayed.

As we sat down on the top deck of the ferry I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. It struck me how that whole scene was flashback to those carefree days before kids, mortgages and a few decades of hard work had worn us down. These people were us back then and it was fun to revisit that time. One thing that has not changed are the silly conversations you overhear on that boat. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Me? I hate to shower alone when I am stoned. I INSIST that someone sits in the bathroom with me while I shower. (as an aside, she was adorable and I am thinking there was a line in her house for volunteers)

2. So, she was there last night and I have to say she is such a bitch. Then I get home and she had friended me. And I am like all, well I can’t ignore the friend request so I just gave her limited access.

Very.

Limited.

Access.

3. Did you see her wall this morning. I could not believe her x-boyfriend’s sister left this whole long thing congratulating her on her engagement. Even SHE knew her brother was an asshole.

Gary still marvels at my ability to keep a conversation with him going and still be able to hear these other things being said around me. I think that women have an innate ability to do that. It is sort of like auditory multi-tasking.

The boat home was a whole other story. We took the 11:00 which is the slightly toasted but not totally s–t faced boat (that’s the 1AM boat). We took a shuttle to the parking lot with a guy banging on a bongo and a sort of tipsy guy who commented a bit too loud and lot too blatantly about the size of the breasts of a girl leaving the shuttle. This prompted his date to start a round of a song she called “Your So Obnoxious” with half the shuttle joining in on the chorus.

Yep, a good time was had by all.

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Filed under conversations, humor, travel

Why Politics are Akin to Sports

I know what you are thinking, what the heck does she know about politics and sports. Not a whole lot, but my dear friend David C. Haas does and this is a guest post on demand from my college friends.  We have a thread going for years now, and if you missed my post about them it is worth a read; they are a lively group. Dave wrote this on the thread today and we voted to give it an airing in the blogosphere. So give this a tweet, a share, a stumble or just read it to a friend; he has great insight. In respect to my friends in the media who do not fit this description, my opinion on this is that it is a generalization about mass media and not an attack on those of you who still take great pride in your craft. 

Enjoy, and feel free to comment.

I know the problem, but not the solution. Politics has become too akin to sports. People are diehard fans of their “team” (Republican, Democrat, Tea Party, Green Party, etc.) and anyone who is on the other teams is a jerk only because they are on the other team. People don’t discuss anymore, they defend their team without listening to the other side. The networks have taken advantage of this by recognizing that they can make more money by not being impartial and instead being a booster of one of the teams.

The politicians use the networks to post trash talk on the locker room bulletin boards to psyche up the players (rally the base). The networks are only too happy to oblige and add their own inflammatory commentary which often times omits key facts, exaggerates the truth, or is an outright lie. Media exaggeration and lying have become so commonplace that apparently the politicians seem to think it’s okay and have stepped up their offense to include a new page in the playbook, the Super Spin, otherwise know as an outright lie.

Sen. John Kyl’s commentary that 90% of Planned Parenthood services were devoted to abortion were proven to be false (in 2009 approximately 3% were) and when he was confronted about this he replied that his speech “wasn’t intended to be factual”.

You have got to be kidding me! In any other profession this would not be tolerated. “Well doctor, what do the test results show?”, “I’m afraid you’ll need a heart transplant John”, “Huh, my specialist said it was acid reflux” “Well, ah… I wasn’t talking literally.”

The media used to be the umpires. They would call a foul, then show the instant replay for the fans to see, and the offending player would be penalized. But now the umpires have taken sides and can no longer agree on the fouls. And the fans are left confused and just assume that their team is in the right. But without umpires the game has gotten out of control. Teams are playing to win at all costs. They don’t care if the game suffers while they break all the rules.

Maybe someday the fans will realize that the game stinks, and stop going to the stadiums. And the empty seats will be votes against the teams and for the game.

My only hope is that after a few election cycles were each time the party in power loses, politicians will realize that the people are not voting for Republicans or for Democrats. They are voting against the corruption of the game, and until the players, owners, and league officials, can be trusted to act in the interest of the game, they will be off the team.

– David C. Haas

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This is why I love my daughter’s friends

My daughter and her friends have finally hooked into twitter, and I LOVE it.

The other day I saw this tweet:

Since it is hard to read I will translate:

Chetley Has Been Compromised. There is a Situation!

Chetley would be her beloved teddy bear that I have reconstructed more than once in her lifetime. He has also been the target of similar ‘terrorist’ attacks by her campers when she was a counselor. I was a bit concerned when I saw the tweet so sent back a reply asking about his welfare.

This is what came next:

I could not see who was in the picture so I texted her to find out that it is The Situation from Jersey Shore, hence, ‘the situation’ in the first photo.

How can you not love these girls? Speaking of which (cough cough, shameless plug) if you did not get a chance to donate to the UW Dance Marathon that they are participating in, it is not too late. You can do so here.

 

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Filed under college, conversations, humor, twitter