Tag Archives: conversations

November 6, 2014 · 11:36 am

Mom Texting

Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 11.10.31 AM

For a mom with high digital engagement, it always amazes me how much I suck at texting and IMing. Actually, I probably just suck at typing and it translates to those mediums.

Danny, my adult son, has moved home after college and commutes to the city. His schedule changes as he spends nights in the city often. Wanting to plan for dinner, I usually text him during the day to get his status for that night.

The beauty of my relationship with my kids? They have inherited the appreciation for the absurd. Second gen MFTA*, if you will.

Do you think I could start #pimpmom trending?

mfta moment

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January 8, 2014 · 7:37 pm

I am 74

old-man

No, I am not 74, but the lunatic sitting next to me at the doc’s office today is. It was if the universe gave him the same appointment time as I had because it knew what a great blog post he would make. Some quotes from the dear man with my comments in italics:

“I am 74. Why would I buy a car? I lease. If I drop dead, they just take the car back.” (not so funny at a cardiologist’s office)

“I can’t believe they are legalizing pot, now all the potheads are going to be walking around all over the place” (as opposed to being locked up in jail where they belong because all they did was get high?)

And my all time fave:

“When I heard about the new gun laws I went out and bought 11 guns and 2,000 rounds of ammo.” (now this one made me want to revert to the first quote and hope for the best)

No, I do not go to the cardiologist in the back woods… this was on the North Shore of Long Island! WTH?

(Don’t worry, I did not take a picture of this crazy man, this is stock… but it sort of looks like him)

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July 4, 2011 · 12:14 am

Overheard on the Fire Island Ferry

Yesterday we spent a glorious day on Fire Island. It was one of those picture perfect summer mornings when taking the ferry sets the tone for the wonderful day ahead. Years ago, we spent our summers there in share houses. Yesterday we were visiting friends who we met back then and now own a home just blocks away from where we stayed.

As we sat down on the top deck of the ferry I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. It struck me how that whole scene was flashback to those carefree days before kids, mortgages and a few decades of hard work had worn us down. These people were us back then and it was fun to revisit that time. One thing that has not changed are the silly conversations you overhear on that boat. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Me? I hate to shower alone when I am stoned. I INSIST that someone sits in the bathroom with me while I shower. (as an aside, she was adorable and I am thinking there was a line in her house for volunteers)

2. So, she was there last night and I have to say she is such a bitch. Then I get home and she had friended me. And I am like all, well I can’t ignore the friend request so I just gave her limited access.

Very.

Limited.

Access.

3. Did you see her wall this morning. I could not believe her x-boyfriend’s sister left this whole long thing congratulating her on her engagement. Even SHE knew her brother was an asshole.

Gary still marvels at my ability to keep a conversation with him going and still be able to hear these other things being said around me. I think that women have an innate ability to do that. It is sort of like auditory multi-tasking.

The boat home was a whole other story. We took the 11:00 which is the slightly toasted but not totally s–t faced boat (that’s the 1AM boat). We took a shuttle to the parking lot with a guy banging on a bongo and a sort of tipsy guy who commented a bit too loud and lot too blatantly about the size of the breasts of a girl leaving the shuttle. This prompted his date to start a round of a song she called “Your So Obnoxious” with half the shuttle joining in on the chorus.

Yep, a good time was had by all.

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July 17, 2010 · 12:29 am

Mother Daughter IM

Sometimes the only communication I have with my kids is virtual. It’s ok; any connection is fine by me and sometimes you can simply jump into each other’s day and ease the pain a little. The following is part of a chat with my daughter who, as part of her internship duties, had to be the receptionist for two days in a row. This came in at about 4:45 PM just as most of the office was getting ready to vamoose. (note we both have our dog as our icons… scary) I am in the blue in case you could not guess.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 13, 2010 · 9:33 pm

Driver’s License Update

Ok, so I admit it. I went and tried a second time to secure an acceptable driver’s license photo. And no it did not work out well…

AGAIN!

For those who have not read the beginning of this saga you can read about it here.

I know, give it up bee-otch. Maybe you really are that ugly. Maybe you do have the neck the size of a linebacker. But seriously, I really don’t look that bad in person.

Jana came home from school and decided that she, too, was not happy with her photo. (starting to see a pattern here?). The Monday between Christmas and New Year’s we lost our minds and were unconscious enough to not realize the entire universe was off that week and at least three-quarters of that said universe thought DMV biz was a good idea. So off we went to have the pictures taken and then sit on the bench watching the numbers roll by on the monitors for somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour and forty-five minutes. I know, what a lovely bonding afternoon for the reunited college girl and her mom. Hey, it was a great place to people watch.

Finally we get called up. She pays her 17 some odd dollars and then I go to my window.

Clerk: Can I have your old license please?

Me: Look at that picture! Isn’t it awful?

Clerk: Really, do you think anyone looks at these?

Me: C’mon, admit it is awful

Clerk: Does it REALLY matter?

Me: Ok, I am vain. There I admitted it.

Clerk: Thanks, that’s all I wanted from you.

I swear, that was the conversation. Then she proceeds to tell me that I do not have to pay because you have 6 months to keep retaking your photo for free.

Me: For real?!!

Clerk: Now, ma’am, please do not become a serial DMV photo taker.

Regarding the photo at the top of this post:

I was playing around with the Mac’s photobooth features and decided that posterized would be the preferable filter for me to use on all official documents. What do you think? Kind of babe-ish in this shot, right? In a maybe a you swallowed a lava lamp sort of way, but I kind of like it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 13, 2009 · 9:09 pm

Where there is smoke, there is fire – a study in human nature.

Scenario: Driving to New Jersey with friends to see a concert.

Location: Grand Central Parkway Westbound

Incident: tons of traffic on the Eastbound side, lots of smoke and then we see an SUV smoking and starting to flame on the shoulder.

Conversation:

Husband 1: Wow, looks like that just happened.

Me: We should call 911.

Husband 1: Nah, somebody else will call.

Husband 2: Ah, forget it, that guy is already toast. Looks like it’s gonna blow.

Other wife: (while dialing 911) Are you guys kidding me?!

Scary part is that the 911 operator was so dimwitted there is a good chance that car had blown before she could understand what between exits 5 and 6 meant, had to take my friend’s cell number (more than once) and then asked if she wanted to be connected to the Fire Dept. By then we were already over the Triboro bridge.

Yikes.

So, here is another poll. Are you the someone else will call guy, the he’s already a goner guy or the 911 chick?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 6, 2009 · 10:29 pm

Attractively Belligerent

Actual phone call with a friend on Friday Morning:

Me: Is it too early to drink?

Him: Hmmm, 9:30 am. Maybe a Sombrero, you know, something with Kalhua in it to have that coffee thing. On second thought I am sorry, I would say that you would have to acknowledge that you have a problem if you did.

Me: Yeh, I was afraid of that. And if YOU say it is too early to drink then I know it is.

Him: I suppose. So what is wrong that you need a drink at 9:30 in the morning?

Me: Nothing, just a trying work week.

Conversation continues and I suppose I had just a bit more of an edge than usual.

Him: You are a bit belligerent today.

Me: Oh no, really?

Him: Yes, but attractively billigerent.

And that, my friends, is true friendship! (thanks Dave)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 27, 2009 · 7:50 pm

She bit her tongue?

bite_tongue_bird

Conversation with my mom tonight:

Mom: I spoke with so-and-so today.

Me: That’s nice, you haven’t heard from her in awhile.

Mom: No, we have been talking a lot lately. She is a bit lonely. She doesn’t have many friends her age anymore that she can talk to.

Me: She NEVER had any friends, of any age.

Dad: (in the background) She NEVER had any friends. (Dad and I think alike, we are both evil to my mom’s sweetness)

Mom: Behave, the both of you. It was a nice conversation. She bit her tongue.

Me: Really? I am so surprised, she was never one to not say what was on her mind.

Mom: No, she actually BIT HER TONGUE. It was bleeding and everything!

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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