Tag Archives: dmv

Driver’s License Update

Ok, so I admit it. I went and tried a second time to secure an acceptable driver’s license photo. And no it did not work out well…

AGAIN!

For those who have not read the beginning of this saga you can read about it here.

I know, give it up bee-otch. Maybe you really are that ugly. Maybe you do have the neck the size of a linebacker. But seriously, I really don’t look that bad in person.

Jana came home from school and decided that she, too, was not happy with her photo. (starting to see a pattern here?). The Monday between Christmas and New Year’s we lost our minds and were unconscious enough to not realize the entire universe was off that week and at least three-quarters of that said universe thought DMV biz was a good idea. So off we went to have the pictures taken and then sit on the bench watching the numbers roll by on the monitors for somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour and forty-five minutes. I know, what a lovely bonding afternoon for the reunited college girl and her mom. Hey, it was a great place to people watch.

Finally we get called up. She pays her 17 some odd dollars and then I go to my window.

Clerk: Can I have your old license please?

Me: Look at that picture! Isn’t it awful?

Clerk: Really, do you think anyone looks at these?

Me: C’mon, admit it is awful

Clerk: Does it REALLY matter?

Me: Ok, I am vain. There I admitted it.

Clerk: Thanks, that’s all I wanted from you.

I swear, that was the conversation. Then she proceeds to tell me that I do not have to pay because you have 6 months to keep retaking your photo for free.

Me: For real?!!

Clerk: Now, ma’am, please do not become a serial DMV photo taker.

Regarding the photo at the top of this post:

I was playing around with the Mac’s photobooth features and decided that posterized would be the preferable filter for me to use on all official documents. What do you think? Kind of babe-ish in this shot, right? In a maybe a you swallowed a lava lamp sort of way, but I kind of like it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under body image, conversations, humor, Jana, photography

The Driver’s License

There a few givens in this world. One of them is that you will rarely, if ever, be satisfied with your driver’s license photo. And to add insult to injury, you are stuck with it for years.

My license expired this past September with the momentous occasion of my 50th birthday. As if it were not enough that AARP has been harassing me for the past 2 years by sending those damn cards every few months, I was faced with ‘the big decision’. To reshoot, or not to reshoot.

I was never fond of my license photo, I always felt I was having a bad hair day and I was wearing some ridiculous shade of lipstick that made me look a bit like Lucille Ball. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided to have a new picture taken.

I did my hair in the morning, put on a much more acceptable shade of lipstick and off I went to the DMV feeling very proud of myself.

Um, yeh, who’s a complete IDIOT!

Let’s face it, I don’t care who the hell you are, nobody looks better now than they did when they were TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER. Bad hair, bad lipstick and bad breath for G-d sake, a 30-year-old, by nature of her 30-year-oldness is simply going to look better in a picture than a 50-year-old.

Especially one who was not ready when the bitch sadist clerk behind the counter snapped the unfortunate shot of her.

This new picture makes me look a little like a football player. I am not sure exactly how they managed to give me a 30″ neck, but they did. And aside from being so washed out that I looked almost green, the expression on my face is one of say, maybe severe constipation? Or smelling something putrid? Or perhaps the exact look one would have when they took a look at their new driver’s license when it came in the mail 2 weeks later!

And please, don’t ask me to post the 2 photos here. It is bad enough when I get that look of pity from the security guys at the airport.

Take my advice, keep your old picture.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
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Filed under humor, photography