Category Archives: lawsuits

Naked Cowboy is suing again!

A while back I posted about the ever-famous Naked Cowboy and his quest to protect his brand. This man, who most of us New Yorkers regarded as simply another Times Square nut adding peripheral color to our otherwise drab days, turned out to be quite the savvy businessman.

When Mars used his likeness to promote M&Ms on a billboard he went out and hired himself a lawyer. Much to my surprise, and surely the shock of a giant like Mars and their not so savvy creative team, the (not so) little (naked) guy won the suit to the tune of 4 million bucks!

Now it seems our beloved undressed cowboy has gone one step further in protecting his intellectual (and I use that term loosely) property and has begun to sell franchises. For a guy who serenades without clothing in all sorts of weather in the middle of Times Square he has surely become wise to the ways of protecting his brand.

During a press conference on Wednesday (in his skivvies, of course), he announced that he is suing Sandy Kane, a 50-year-old former stripper who calls herself the Naked Cowgirl, for ripping off his Times Square act. It seems the king of the tighty whities already collects $5,000 annually in franchise payments from a woman named Louisa Holmlund, 27, who also performs as the Naked Cowgirl.

Now here’s the thing, and I don’t want to appear to be cruel here, but the woman who pays is, well, there is no other way to put this, she is a babe. And BTW, way more authentically naked. The new one, not so much. See for your self. Here is the ‘legally Naked Cowgirl’ in Naked Cowboy terms:

And here is the new one. Sorry grandma, if I were the cowboy I would not want you ‘diluting’ my brand, if you will. Oh and I would like to add; 50 MY ASS! She is pushing 60 if she is a day, maybe even 70 from this picture. Or maybe she just lived 50 really hard years, but seriously, cover that up. All of it, actually.

Yikes! This is just wrong. (I particularly like the woman on the left with the big smile).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, carreers, current events, humor, lawsuits, marketing, New York City

Phone in Jury Duty

Jury-duty

Whose idea was this one? Do they have this everywhere or is this county specific?

I am not sure if this is a great idea or a really lousy one. I will let you know at the end of the FIVE FRIGGIN’ DAYS that the county of Nassau has decided they are entitled to hold my schedule hostage.

Really guys, no problem for me to call you every damn night (after 5:00) to find out if my next day is my own. Of course I have nothing better to do than keep rescheduling anything that needs to be addressed the following day. Or better yet, write the whole week off to that frivolous style of spontaneity that has always been so successful in running both a business and a family/home.

I suppose this is better than the show up and sit in that big room kind of thing I had to do last time. But what happened to the sole proprietor of a business exemption I used to enjoy years ago. Give me a break, I can’t just stop working because you guys need jurors. Perhaps I could show up with my underwear on the outside of my clothing and act like nothing is wrong. That might discourage anyone from wanting me on a jury.

Then again, that might be just the thing to get me picked.

Or perhaps when I tell them I come from a family of lawyers they might not find me all that desirable.

Oh, and BTW, not that I encourage racial or religious profiling, but my married last name is Levinson. And this would be the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The days of awe (and brisket) are not always the best time for a Jew to take off yet another day from work.

My husband received the dreaded Juror Questionnaire this week. He asked me if I thought it was a bad idea to just answer all the questions with ‘F-off’. Um, yeh, probably would certainly get him a seat on jury, don’t you think?

So, if you are looking for me this week and I don’t get right back to you it is because perhaps my number was up.

You guys know me by now. Do you really think it would be in the best interest of any attorney to pick this big-mouthed, opinionated, menopausal bee-otch to help determine the fate of another person? (that question was rhetorical).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, humor, lawsuits, work

Does this SUV make my ass look fat?

Fuel Crisis

Nothing like a ‘does this make my ass look fat’ post to start the year off right!

Once again, thanks to my BBFF MizLiz, another absurdity has been brought to my attention. I don’t know how I missed this one last week.

A Beverly Hills doc, Craig Alan Bittner, decided to power his car with the human fat extracted during liposuction. I kid you not. Fat contains triglycerides that can be turned into diesel. Basically we are saying the fatter the ass the longer the ride?

Should his patients be asking for doggie bags so they don’t need to stop at the gas station on the way home from surgery? My crazy friend The Bloggess kept berating her vet to give her the ovaries from her cat after she was spade, is this so different?

Before you run out and book yourself an appointment to shrink ‘er down and gas ‘er up I am sorry to inform you that Dr. Bittner has closed his practice to volunteer in a small clinic in South America. One where there is a gas shortage, you ask? Don’t start getting all warm and fuzzy about the guy, in actuality he closed his practice because he is involved in a lawsuit with 3 patients because he allowed his ASSISTANT and his GIRLFRIEND to perform surgeries without a medical license. The attorney for the 3 patients said he removed too much fat (is there really such a thing as removing too much fat) and left them disfigured.

Sure, but did they or did they not have a full tank of gas when they left?

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Cheerleaders are the New Terrorists

cheerleaders

I have known a rabid cheerleader or two in my day (you know who you are, I am sure I don’t have to single you out), so these news stories should not come as a shock to me. For some reason they have struck a nerve.

First, there is the story of Caitlin Davis who was thrown off the New England Patriots cheerleading squad after Deadspin uncovered that she had posted pictures on her Facebook page of herself drawing penises and swastikas on her passed out friend. Niiiiiice. Love the Facebook piece. Has no one gotten the fact that this is stupid yet? This is like the salvia smoking YouTube idiots.

Best part? In an interview she told the Sun Chronicle one of the motivating factors to becoming a Pats cheerleader was the thrill of doing community appearances:

“That’s what I did with my church youth group.” 

Um, right honey, we are all buying the cute little church group girl thing now!

Next Story, an El Paso, Texas cheerleading squad from Chapin Sapphire High baked up a lovely batch of cupcakes and brownies laced with rat poison and bleach as a gift for their rival schools’ cheerleaders.

Yum. And the thinking was what? If the other girls puked up the chocolate frosting the bleach would lift the stain out? How considerate.

Apparently these rival teams are known for ‘little pranks’ before games. Correct me if I am wrong here, but since when was POISONING a ‘little prank’.

Here is the scary part. The punishment for these psycho pom pom bee-otches was a 3 day suspension.

To quote FanIQ “Well that seems fair. If I poisoned someone’s food I’d get 15 to life for attempted murder while these girls get three days off of school. Just more proof that cheerleaders can get away with anything, well, as long as it doesn’t involve drawing swastikas on anyone’s face. But trying to kill someone else, that’s totally cool.”

The moral of this story? You never know what those cheerleaders are packin’ in their pom poms.

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Naked Cowboy Wins the Big Buck(aroos)

naked_cowboy_in_times_square

I posted about the Naked Cowboy vs. Mars, Inc. lawsuit back in June. Robert Burck sued the candy company for copyright infringement when they created a blue M&M in his likeness and plastered it over Times Square. (On his turf no less).

Over the past couple of days I have noticed there was a lot of traffic on this blog with the search term Naked Cowboy. I did a quick scan and guess what?

Apparently he has settled. And get this, the NY Post is reporting the settlement was for $4 million!!

What a great country. Where a raving lunatic half-naked singing cowboy can hang in Times Square and create an intellectual property that warrants a multi-million dollar settlement.

Check out his website. Seems all those years of freezing his scantily clad butt off on the streets of NY has enabled him to create a brand that has yielded an EP called Year of the Cowboy, a podcast available on iIunes (yes there is a typo on his website), an MTV video, and Naked Cowboy.TV. 

He is even available for Business/Appearance Opportunities through Naked Cowboy Enterprise. Under what circumstances would a business want to hire this guy? Who knows. Think creatively. And surely he would be the hit of any over-the-top Bar Mitzvah or Sweet 16. 

Think about this. If you create a brand, no matter how ridiculous, and you are persistent and stick with the essence of that brand, the possibilities are endless.

Oh right, and if a major corporation does not do their homework on copyright infringement of an intellectual property, that helps too. To the tune of $4 million smackaroos…

Buckaroo.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, lawsuits, marketing, New York City, news, search engine terms, searches

The Naked Truth

File this under more crazy lawsuits in the news. Actually, this one makes sense to me. I have always been a fan of creating an intellectual property.

If you have ever been in Times Square you are no stranger to the Naked Cowboy. 10 years ago the image of this guy in tighty whities (not hanky pankies) might have been a shock. But these days New Yorkers just pass him by as if he were the typical NY street sight that he is.

In this era of creating a brand, Robert Burck has trademarked the Naked Cowboy signature look (underwear, white guitar and cowboy hat) and has made several television and movie appearances in costume, including for a televised audition on the American Idol reality TV program, the lawsuit said.

I am pretty sure this guy is a genius.

It seems that our naked boy is suing Mars, Inc., the makers of M&Ms and their ad agency for creating a billboard with a blue M&M dressed in his outfit. 

Now, I have been in the PR/marketing and promotion biz for way more years than I care to admit. For the life of me I don’t understand how these guys thought they could get away with this. Alright, so maybe it is a stretch to know that this guy actually trademarked his look. But he has been around way too long and has been too recognizable an icon on the streets of our great city for an agency to not do their due diligence and confirm that this would be cool. (oh right, the agency is in Ohio – no offense to my Ohio friends). They are claiming that the campaign is a parody and they have a first amendment right to use the image. A bit of a stretch, no?

This crazy cowboy is going so far as to say he does not endorse this product and made mention of Type 2 Diabetes. (I work on a Type 2 Diabetes drug, maybe we should look into signing him as our celeb spokesperson!). Another bit of a stretch. Would he not except large sums of money to endorse the product if offered it? I mean really, are we to believe that a guy that has made a living for the last 10 years wearing underwear in Times Square in all kinds of weather is driven by some lofty set of morals?

This all gets me thinking. Perhaps I should trademark my look. What? You think a black t-shirt and jeans is not available for trademark?

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Thong Danger?

It must be a slow news day. 

The Today Show not only reported about a couple who found 60,000 bees in the walls of their house (would this not be rather loud?), but they covered this story as well. All during the 7AM hour. Is NOTHING important going on in the world today? Having started my career designing bra and underwear tags (don’t ask), this one caught my attention.

52 Year-Old Woman Sues Victoria’s Secret Over Defective Thong

… Apparently 52 year-old Macrida Patterson, a traffic officer with Los Angeles’ Department of Transportation, was simply slipping on her “low-rise V-String” from Victoria’s Secret’s “Sexy Little Thing” line when a decorative metallic piece flew off the undies and struck her in the eye.

THE EYE?!!! Are you kidding me? I was hoping for some really edgy sort of injury. I mean, anyone who has ever worn one of these babies knows that it is not the most natural thing to have a string up your ass all day. (all in the name of not having VPL). I thought perhaps the metal piece heated up and left her branded where the sun don’t shine. Or in a floss-like manner the string got stuck and needed to be surgically removed. Gives the term ‘getting your underwear in a knot’ a whole new meaning. This sounds like a Larry David episode. Perhaps VS will be required to put directions on these items: “wear protective glasses when slipping into this item to avoid risk of eye injury”. 

Sorry, I have to go. Need to check out my lingerie drawer and see which item has the potential for making me a quick 25 grand.

 

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Filed under current events, fashion, humor, lawsuits, trends