Tag Archives: times square

The MILF Hotel

Yes, all you babes with children out there, I am happy to announce that now NYC has a hotel dedicated especially to you: The Milf Plaza. What better recognition for all the women who have worked hard to stay in shape and look great after having kids than to dedicated a landmark hotel to them.

Some of you may be saying to yourselves, ‘Hey, I am a New Yorker, you can’t fool me, that is the Milford Plaza with the o-r-d retouched out.’ (sounds sort of like a Monty Python routine… fish license, anyone). I will say to you all, ‘No, no, no; this baby is for real’. We can thank Mark R. for posting this on facebook and Cathy S. (his lovely wife, and according to him the ‘highest authority’) for validating its authenticity.

When you see stuff like this you can’t help but think that someone at that hotel was having some fun with this. Or could it simply be serendipity that those letters all went out at the same time for the sheer purpose of entertaining the likes of people like my friends and I.

Now I can’t stop singing The Lullaby of Broadway (this commercial ran constantly back in the 90s – check out the talented staff and the price!)

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, signage

Naked Cowboy Runs for President

Yes, kiddies, our old friend the Naked Cowboy is in the news again. This time he is not suing anyone for using his (not so) intellectual property in their advertising. He has actually announced his candidacy for president.

He held his press conference dressed in a suit. We are supposed to recognize him with his clothes on why?

And for what party would our old friend be running… you guessed it, the Tea(bag) Party. Oh the countless Sarah Palin jokes we could spin from this one!

So let’s see, “Sir, what are your qualifications?” “Well, I am able to withstand extreme temperatures in my skivvies”. Yup, that’s all I need in a national leader, how about you? I have to admit I sort of like his logo and the Blues Bros. pose in this picture.

He will be keeping company with the likes of a Delaware candidate who assured us – in a damn TV commercial – that she is not a witch. And the raving lunatic thug from Buffalo who has built almost his entire candidacy on anger and threats and thinks that sending racist and sexist emails to his friends is ok, as long as they are not public. Huh?

Although I do find this all amusing on some level, does it concern anyone else that political campaigns have reached a new level of circus?

Or should I say rodeo.

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Filed under absurdities, current events, politics

Toilet Paper Advertising Smackdown

I must have died and gone to promotion heaven. For the second day this week a toilet paper brand is in the headlines. Yesterday I wrote about Cottonelle’s suggestion that maybe we were not wiping all that well. Today, thanks to my friend, Jessica Gottlieb, I found this Advertising Age article about Charmin’s latest PR program: enjoy the go.

charmin-enjoy-the-go

This one is sheer brilliance. Sorry Cottonelle, I remain brand loyal to Charmin and their program kicks ass… wipes.

A Help Wanted ad is a casting call for 5 bloggers to become Charmin Ambassadors. The job description and qualifications call for someone to greet and entertain bathroom guests at the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square and then blog about it. The job runs from November 23rd  through December 31st with a salary of $10,000. This should get around the new FTC blogger guidelines quite nicely.

This is my favorite line:

All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.

Honestly, if you know me you also know there is NOBODY who enjoys going to the bathroom more than I do.

I know what you are all thinking, who better than the Magnet For the Absurd (MFTA) for this job. Yeh, well, maybe 20 years ago. But I think for now I will just be content to go down to the Hilton on November 5th with my camera and Flip. Every freak in NYC will be there for sure. I should be right at home.

Good ole Mr. Whipple must be spinning in his grave!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, magnet for the absurd, marketing, New York City, news

Sarah Palin Condom!

 …or why you should always have $5 in your pocket in Times Square. 

I kid you not, my friends. Oh no, did I just say ‘my friends’? Help, I think my brain has been infiltrated by election pop culture. Um, do you think? This is my 4th friggin’ consecutive post on this drivel. I can’t help it, everyday gets more amusing.

Back to the story of the condom. I was walking from Penn Station to meet Gary and some friends for dinner on 56th Street. For those who know NY, this is a walk through the belly of the beast known as Times Square. At rush hour! This is about as out of the basement as you can get.

Overstimulation is an underestimation.

I was getting into the bob and weave of the ebb and flow of bodies and traffic, street noises and meat-on-a-stick smells, when all of the sudden I hear:

“Get your Sarah Palin Condoms. Limited Edition!”

What? Are you KIDDING me? And there it was again, coming from another place. And then another. There must have been a half a dozen young men carrying boxes of condoms. A whole swarm of condom hawkers. (BTW, they also had Obama and McCain – those are simply not funny). 

But Palin condoms? With the tagline “When abortion is not an option”. That is absolutely hysterical. 

Here is the best part. A young french man came up to the vendor as I was buying one. 

French Man: what are theez?

Vendor: Sarah Palin condoms.

French Man: Ugh! I wooood not put my deeeek in one of theez.

And this is when I knew for sure that the humor gods had smiled down upon me once again and I could live another day!

(fyi, you can purchase them here, but they are cheaper on the street if you happen to be in Times Square).

Also, my candidate paper dolls came today. They are so amazing I must do a follow-up post on them. Just a preview… first page, they are in their underwear!

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Filed under humor, politics, products, sex, trends

The Naked Truth

File this under more crazy lawsuits in the news. Actually, this one makes sense to me. I have always been a fan of creating an intellectual property.

If you have ever been in Times Square you are no stranger to the Naked Cowboy. 10 years ago the image of this guy in tighty whities (not hanky pankies) might have been a shock. But these days New Yorkers just pass him by as if he were the typical NY street sight that he is.

In this era of creating a brand, Robert Burck has trademarked the Naked Cowboy signature look (underwear, white guitar and cowboy hat) and has made several television and movie appearances in costume, including for a televised audition on the American Idol reality TV program, the lawsuit said.

I am pretty sure this guy is a genius.

It seems that our naked boy is suing Mars, Inc., the makers of M&Ms and their ad agency for creating a billboard with a blue M&M dressed in his outfit. 

Now, I have been in the PR/marketing and promotion biz for way more years than I care to admit. For the life of me I don’t understand how these guys thought they could get away with this. Alright, so maybe it is a stretch to know that this guy actually trademarked his look. But he has been around way too long and has been too recognizable an icon on the streets of our great city for an agency to not do their due diligence and confirm that this would be cool. (oh right, the agency is in Ohio – no offense to my Ohio friends). They are claiming that the campaign is a parody and they have a first amendment right to use the image. A bit of a stretch, no?

This crazy cowboy is going so far as to say he does not endorse this product and made mention of Type 2 Diabetes. (I work on a Type 2 Diabetes drug, maybe we should look into signing him as our celeb spokesperson!). Another bit of a stretch. Would he not except large sums of money to endorse the product if offered it? I mean really, are we to believe that a guy that has made a living for the last 10 years wearing underwear in Times Square in all kinds of weather is driven by some lofty set of morals?

This all gets me thinking. Perhaps I should trademark my look. What? You think a black t-shirt and jeans is not available for trademark?

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Filed under current events, humor, lawsuits, New York City