Tag Archives: condoms

Condom Monkey?

Oh yeh… go bananas from this one. I simply love the idea of custom promotional condoms. But I love the name and the tagline even more.

So much for subtlety.

Now I just have to figure out which client I can convince to do these.

A big thanks to Cathy S. for sending this one in.

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Filed under absurdities, products

Snowman Condom – Part 2

Just when you thought it was safe to be a living, breathing snowman in my neighborhood… Snowman Condom2. Last month the small one was featured here on i could cry and here she is again, with a friend… double protection if you will.

This family has to be the most committed to snowman preservation in the entire zip code; maybe even the state! I ran into the dad the other day after the big ice storm had coated the new big guy with a nice solid glaze. He seemed so happy in his confidence that it would take forever for this one to melt, while the little one was actually doing some modified version of the camel pose (that was for you yogamom) but still going strong.

When I woke this morning to the sound of rain against the window in my now virtually gutterless house, I had more than a pang of anxiety about the fate of those snowmen.

Sure enough when I went for my walk, there they were in all their condomized glory. And the big guy had that fabulous belt, to boot.

I can never give up this morning walk. Screw the heart-healthy benefit, there is way to much blog fodder to miss.


Filed under carry a camera

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 4)

Welcome to the fourth monthly installment of Top Ten Search Terms. For those who missed the last three, you can read Vol. 1 here and Vol 2. here and Vol 3. here. As before, I have compiled a list of my 10 favorite (actual) search terms that viewers have entered to arrive at this blog. Every month I get a few more little goodies that take me by surprise or just plain crack me up. Scary what people will key in when searching. Scarier that they find me. Each entry is linked to the post I assume they arrived at when using these keywords.

For email subsribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. son lives in basement not work what to d (i hate when these get cut off. what was that last word? do?)

9. separated at birth photos, pets (is that so unusual, pets being separated at birth?)

8. fat guys in bathing suits (nothing like a fat guy in a bathing suit, they always make the husband look thinner)

7. i could cry for days (ok, this person has missed the whole point, and unless they landed on a Tuesday post they would be highly disappointed. or maybe not. maybe this person needs a good laugh.)

6. www.old hairy women.com (believe it or not, this is a real site so I am not sure why they landed here. you can visit it if you like but it starts with “Warning, adult content. Must be 18 years or old to access this site. And how, might I ask, do they proof you before you enter? I passed, thanks)

5. boobss pop out while fight (with two s’s? yeh, well what’s a girl fight without boobs(s) popping out. I would assume that is part of the lure)

4. how to poison someone (this one is concerning and I am happy to say I do not have any idea how this landed here so there is no link. To my knowledge (officer) I have not written any posts that illustrate how to poison my husband anyone)

3. i dont have a condom (ok, bud, then it looks like you are screwed. or not. either way it seems you are having a bad night)

2. moose intestine condoms (ew. Ew! EEEEWWWW!)

1. how about a big box of shut the hell up (this one? this one had me laughing for hours. in fact I cannot wait to use this the next time someone bugs me. how much fun would it be to say this to someone. I am still laughing. wait, is this not that funny and only I see the humor in it?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.


Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches, top ten lists

Sarah Palin Condom!

 …or why you should always have $5 in your pocket in Times Square. 

I kid you not, my friends. Oh no, did I just say ‘my friends’? Help, I think my brain has been infiltrated by election pop culture. Um, do you think? This is my 4th friggin’ consecutive post on this drivel. I can’t help it, everyday gets more amusing.

Back to the story of the condom. I was walking from Penn Station to meet Gary and some friends for dinner on 56th Street. For those who know NY, this is a walk through the belly of the beast known as Times Square. At rush hour! This is about as out of the basement as you can get.

Overstimulation is an underestimation.

I was getting into the bob and weave of the ebb and flow of bodies and traffic, street noises and meat-on-a-stick smells, when all of the sudden I hear:

“Get your Sarah Palin Condoms. Limited Edition!”

What? Are you KIDDING me? And there it was again, coming from another place. And then another. There must have been a half a dozen young men carrying boxes of condoms. A whole swarm of condom hawkers. (BTW, they also had Obama and McCain – those are simply not funny). 

But Palin condoms? With the tagline “When abortion is not an option”. That is absolutely hysterical. 

Here is the best part. A young french man came up to the vendor as I was buying one. 

French Man: what are theez?

Vendor: Sarah Palin condoms.

French Man: Ugh! I wooood not put my deeeek in one of theez.

And this is when I knew for sure that the humor gods had smiled down upon me once again and I could live another day!

(fyi, you can purchase them here, but they are cheaper on the street if you happen to be in Times Square).

Also, my candidate paper dolls came today. They are so amazing I must do a follow-up post on them. Just a preview… first page, they are in their underwear!

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Filed under humor, politics, products, sex, trends